OT - funniest comment?

[Judtech]

I think I have shared these:
VERY small gym. Partner and I get togther to clear up some confusion on who is shooting FT.
As I retreat back to my spot opposite table, I hear a lady "What are you all talking about there. I know. You talkin about getting some hookers after the game. After all you done F*&* us all nite, why stop after the game". I start laughing and the lady next to her says "Shhh, I think he heard you!". I didn't have the heart to throw her out b/c I was laughing so much.

Just last week: "Why can't my player get a call when he initiates the contact?"

Coach "Would your wife have liked that call?"
Me "It depends whether I was the one that made it or not"
Coach: "Why is that?"
Me "If I called it she would think it was the worst call ever. If someone else made it she would wonder why I didnt such an obvious call"
Coach "Damn, now I remember why your wife and I are friends!"