The Funniest Thing That Ever Happened

[john@ereferee]

Guys,

I'd like to hear about the funniest things that have happened to you in football officiating. I believe that one of the strongest weapons we take on the field with us is our sense of humor; the ability to laugh at ourselves and our crewmates (and it doesn't hurt to laugh at coaches and players as long as they aren't aware of it). Please email me your stories and I'll include the best ones in a series of articles in eReferee.com. My email address is: [email protected]. Thanks.

John Milstead
Football Editor
eReferee.com

[Ed Hickland]

My first JV game in a new association, the referee got delayed in traffic. So acting as referee my usual custom was to ask the center which say he wanted the laces turned.

So I walked to the huddle and called for the center. Then asked "center which way do you want your laces?"

The center paused and took a long look at his shoes when another player goes, "the laces on the ball."

[jcmrefump]

At a Seventh grade game(the first of the year)an unfortunate injury to the teams only QB resulted in the funniest thing I have ever encountered on the field. After the injury, the coach had to make an on-field appointment. He told the split-end that he was now the QB. The youngster responded with "What do I do?" After instructing the kid to take the snap from the center, the split-end quickly told the coach "I'm not putting my hands under there!" After we all quit laughing, including the spectators, the coach pulled himself together enough to call time-out. Fortunately the real QB could then come back in the game.

[Huskerblue]

That is a funnt story. However, a player that was forced to leave the game because of injury, cannot reenter at the expense of a timeout. There has to be at least one play. That poor split end should have had to place his hands "under there" at least once.

[sportswriter]

John, I really should contact you... as a freelance sports-oriented writer and a ref in my first year, I've already had a few interesting stories.

Here's my fave:

I'm head ref at a spring league game (Canadian rules, 8-13 year olds at three different levels) and the first play of scrimmage on the first posession of the game is a dive left. I'm in the process of following the ball carrier to the left side of the line. He runs into a wall of bodies. He stops, the ball squirts free. Now, in the middle of that wall, there's the ball... I'm standing there, hoping like hell that none of my side guys blow an inadvertant.... when one of the A team players picks up the ball. Now, remember, the ball came loose in a pile of bodies, so I'm a lot closer to the area than I normally would be so I can see who gets what when the ball is eventually retained. Now, I have just realized I am the only official that probably realizes the ball is loose.

Remember the A team player with the ball? Yep. He's got the ball, alright, and he feels it is in his civic duty to do something with it. Like, say, pick it up and hand it to me.

The play is live, there's no whistle, the ball carrier is not being held or tackled, but is really trying hard to give me the ball...

So I'm backing out of there, and he takes one, two steps towards me, still trying to give me the ball. Now, somewhere in all of that, players are still blocking the hell out of each other. About two and a half seconds after the fumble, two of the B team players finally clue into the fact that there still hasn't been a whistle, and see buddy with the ball, trying to hand it to the ref (ie: me) who is apparently not willing to take it.... slowly, you can see the neurons firing. Play is live. Play is live. Ball being waved at ref.

At about the same time, team A player's neurons are going through the same thought process. Team A player realizes the ball is live, and *HE* has the ball. About the time he starts formulating some plan of action as to what to do with the ball, the team B players reach out and whack it loose, dive on the ball, and gain possession. Whistle goes. Team A player most confused. Team A coach about to explode into at least five chunks.....