OT - funniest comment?

[grunewar]

As I don't post pictures, I'll just keep tossing you guys softballs to whack over the fence!

Just ask Snagglepuss!

[M&M Guy]

What are you trying to do, turn me into Billy?

I got about halfway through the Google search for a pic, then decided to exit, stage left.

[Amesman]

Originally Posted by M&M Guy

What are you trying to do, turn me into Billy?

I got about halfway through the Google search for a pic, then decided to exit, stage left.

Here, let him go first.

[Andy]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Halftime, B12 Rec League Game.

A Coach comes up and says, "Ref, you gotta watch B5. When he sets his screens, he jumps into the player and hooks his arm and has a tendency to hold."

I said, "I haven't noticed it, but I'll keep an eye out."

He says, "Seriously, he does it all the time. I know, I taught him last year when he played for me..... He's crafty about it too."

Along the same line....

Working a HS FP softball game last year, Coach B walks by me before the game and tells me to watch Team A's leadoff hitter...if she gets on base, she will leave early every time.

Me: OK, coach, we'll watch her.

Coach: I taught her how to do it on my summer team, but I'll be dammed if she's going to do it to me here!

[DesMoines]

I was L with the cheerleaders in a line about two feet behind me and I hear one of them say, "Oh look, we're ahead!!"

[Judtech]

I think I have shared these:
VERY small gym. Partner and I get togther to clear up some confusion on who is shooting FT.
As I retreat back to my spot opposite table, I hear a lady "What are you all talking about there. I know. You talkin about getting some hookers after the game. After all you done F*&* us all nite, why stop after the game". I start laughing and the lady next to her says "Shhh, I think he heard you!". I didn't have the heart to throw her out b/c I was laughing so much.

Just last week: "Why can't my player get a call when he initiates the contact?"

Coach "Would your wife have liked that call?"
Me "It depends whether I was the one that made it or not"
Coach: "Why is that?"
Me "If I called it she would think it was the worst call ever. If someone else made it she would wonder why I didnt such an obvious call"
Coach "Damn, now I remember why your wife and I are friends!"

[Mark Padgett]

I had a girls HS rec game and one of the coaches was acting like a real jerk (so what's new?). During a TO, I was at the table and said to the scorer from his team (who was one of the moms) "Is he always like that?" She replied, "Yes, and I ought to know - I'm his ex-wife."

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by DesMoines

I was L with the cheerleaders in a line about two feet behind me and I hear one of them say, "Oh look, we're ahead!!"

Gee - she wasn't a blonde, was she?

[mcdanrd]

In Oklahoma at the varsity level we play a girls game followed by the boys game. The center for the girls' team, a tall attractive girl, now cheerleader for the boys game, ask me during a timeout, "if I were as tall as you do you think I could dominate you?" I thought, but didn't say, you don't have to be as tall as me!

[bainsey]

I'm working at a high school tournament game in a non-officiating capacity. I'm a couple feet behind an endline, near the opposite-side corner.

A friend of mine in stripes calls a player control foul against A-10 near the division line. Team B's fans erupt in cheers and applause.

My friend reports the foul, hustles to my end line, glances at me and says, "Sure, NOW they love me!"

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by mcdanrd

In Oklahoma at the varsity level we play a girls game followed by the boys game. The center for the girls' team, a tall attractive girl, now cheerleader for the boys game, ask me during a timeout, "if I were as tall as you do you think I could dominate you?" I thought, but didn't say, you don't have to be as tall as me!

Like the Abe Lincoln GEICO ad....

[grunewar]

JVB game. A down by 10 middle of the 4th Qtr. B is employing a full court man to man press. A1 inbounds to A2 in the backcourt (A2 must be a linebacker on the football team as well, big/strong kid) who proceeds to make a few dribbles and run right through and over B1 who has good LGP.

B1 is knocked down and slides 15 feet down court on his back.

Tweet! Player-control foul on A2. Who then says under his breath, “It’s his own fault. Boys, gotta get out of my way when I’m going to the hole.”

[Mark Padgett]

I once told a scorekeeper before a game that there was a new rule and he had to keep the book in Latin. For a moment, I think he thought I was serious. He then smiled and asked if I meant pig-latin, because that he could do. I replied, "Essyay". During the game, when we would check with him on fouls, etc., he would answer us in pig-latin. It was pretty funny.

I wonder how one would say "chseagle" in pig-latin?

[Adam]

Spot throw-in for the home team on their BC endline following a TO. I'm C, hanging in the BC due to a press, standing right in front of the home bench.

T gives the ball to the thrower, who immediately throws across the lane to a teammate who steps OOB to take the pass. I pause, no whistle from my partner so I get it. As I turn to glance at the table, I see the coach shaking his head and smiling. "I just taught them that play in practice yesterday."

[SE Minnestoa Re]

My favorite--We were working at a school for the first time. Kid travels twice in a row, then tosses the ball down to the other end of the floor. Being the warm and gentle man my partner was, he asked the kid to go get the ball. As soon as the player handed it to my partner--"T" time.

We could hear the coach at half time yelling at the kid "These aren't the B squad officials--they aren't going to put up with your s***"

I still love that coach.