Another season starts

[grunewar]

Two games last Tues night (nice, easy evening commute in the DC area on the Tues before Turkey Day - NOT! 45 minutes to go 19 miles.....). Two games today and two more on Monday.

Maybe I can run off some of that holiday chow......

PS - on the baby thing, Snaq's you're a lucky man. While I was not officiating when my kids were younger, I personally would not have entertained the idea of leaving the house for officiating when my son's were just born. Would not have gone over big in my household at the time. Every relationship goes through many stages. She's a little more forgiving and understanding now......after 25 yrs. But, even now there are some days....... To each their own.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Two games last Tues night (nice, easy evening commute in the DC area on the Tues before Turkey Day - NOT! 45 minutes to go 19 miles.....). Two games today and two more on Monday.

Maybe I can run off some of that holiday chow......

PS - on the baby thing, Snaq's you're a lucky man. While I was not officiating when my kids were younger, I personally would not have entertained the idea of leaving the house for officiating when my son's were just born. Would not have gone over big in my household at the time. Every relationship goes through many stages. She's a little more forgiving and understanding now......after 25 yrs. But, even now there are some days....... To each their own.

When my wife and I met 16 years ago, I was working all 3 of my current sports, PLUS softball. She's always told me that I was working these games when we met and knew it was part of the bargain, so she's never going to ask me to work less. It may also have to do with the fact that I was already a 20-year official with an established schedule when my wife was pregnant -- I wasn't about to give away an entire schedule just to be available the exact second she went into labor. Hell, she worked right up until the day she went to the hospital. I was willing to dump a game to a JV official at a second's notice and did carry my phone to the table the last month of her pregnancy (and told the ADs why I was doing this so they could be prepared, just in case).

Matter of fact when the doc suggested she go to the hospital, she was told it would probably take 12-18 hours at a minimum before birth -- they just wanted to monitor her BP closely -- she INSISTED I go work my BV game that night just to get my worrying self out of the picture. I did. Then she told me the hospital food was garbage and that I should go have a meal with my partner cause the baby wasn't even close to coming. I did.

And I recognize that I'm lucky in this way. My wife is a very independent person and she knows (and has told me) that my officiating is a very important part of who I am. We've already discussed what will happen when my daughter plays sports -- will I take time off to watch her, etc. I probably will make sure I see at least a third to a half of her games, but I think there's a lesson in letting your kids know that while their stuff is very important, that our lives as people don't stop just because they are playing sports. I've seen officials take off entire seasons to follow their kids around to all their games and it's a personal decision -- one I don't think I will make, although I still have another decade to change my mind.

[mj]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

And I recognize that I'm lucky in this way. My wife is a very independent person and she knows (and has told me) that my officiating is a very important part of who I am. We've already discussed what will happen when my daughter plays sports -- will I take time off to watch her, etc. I probably will make sure I see at least a third to a half of her games, but I think there's a lesson in letting your kids know that while their stuff is very important, that our lives as people don't stop just because they are playing sports. I've seen officials take off entire seasons to follow their kids around to all their games and it's a personal decision -- one I don't think I will make, although I still have another decade to change my mind.

Our wives are cut from the same mold. My son is playing JV's this season and I do block out about half of his dates. Not once has she said boo that I'm refereeing and not watching.

[Raymond]

I just got remarried in August. I got into officiating back in 2001 when I separated from my first wife because I needed some pocket change. My boys were 9 and 3 at the time. I had to block out dates back then to accomadate my custody schedule. When my oldest son got old enough to watch his brother I took more and more games on nights the boys were with me. My current wife tells me that my both my kids have told her they wished I hadn't been away from the house so much to officiate when they were younger. I now block out my HS association on weekdays that I have my youngest son with me (oldest is 18 and moved back into his mother's house). Having a modest college schedule more than makes up for lost HS income but my college schedule is still modest enough that it really doesn't interfere with my time with my son.

[BillyMac]

Couldn't all you guys just do a better job of scheduling your lovemaking? Isn't there a special application on the Arbiter for this? There should be.

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

Couldn't all you guys just do a better job of scheduling your lovemaking? Isn't there a special application on the Arbiter for this? There should be.

Mr. Mack, Billy if you will, I have been married 25+ yrs, and there's only one in my house that makes that schedule, and it AIN'T me OR the Arbiter!

[CaRef5]

man you guys with your understanding wives are awesome....now if i could only get my girlfriend to understand my schedule!

[Adam]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Two games last Tues night (nice, easy evening commute in the DC area on the Tues before Turkey Day - NOT! 45 minutes to go 19 miles.....). Two games today and two more on Monday.

Maybe I can run off some of that holiday chow......

PS - on the baby thing, Snaq's you're a lucky man. While I was not officiating when my kids were younger, I personally would not have entertained the idea of leaving the house for officiating when my son's were just born. Would not have gone over big in my household at the time. Every relationship goes through many stages. She's a little more forgiving and understanding now......after 25 yrs. But, even now there are some days....... To each their own.

Not me, that was Welpe. I can assure you my wife wouldn't have been so forgiving. As for me, my kids were born in April and August, so by the time the season rolled around she was ok with me working. Although we moved mid-season after the August birth, so I didn't work much. In hind sight; perhaps that was best.

As it is, I have to take Feb 19th off every season due to a birthday within my marriage.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

Not me, that was Welpe. I can assure you my wife wouldn't have been so forgiving. As for me, my kids were born in April and August, so by the time the season rolled around she was ok with me working. Although we moved mid-season after the August birth, so I didn't work much. In hind sight; perhaps that was best.

As it is, I have to take Feb 19th off every season due to a birthday within my marriage.

I've worked my birthday, my wife's birthday, my kid's birthday, my anniversary, you name it. My wife just rolls her eyes and smiles we go out on Saturday or Sunday in lieu. My kid's birthday was Saturday this year (I worked a 7:30 game) and is Sunday next year, so I had/have plenty of time to celebrate with her.

When I hear of marriages crumbling from officiating, I never really understand that. And neither does she. Maybe I'm just lucky. And now being in my 40s and having had my one and only child and nearing 15 years of marriage, I'm probably not going to have to worry about this in the future.

Of course, I don't understand officials that say they hand their game checks over to their wives, either.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

I've worked my birthday, my wife's birthday, my kid's birthday, my anniversary, you name it. My wife just rolls her eyes and smiles we go out on Saturday or Sunday in lieu. My kid's birthday was Saturday this year (I worked a 7:30 game) and is Sunday next year, so I had/have plenty of time to celebrate with her.

When I hear of marriages crumbling from officiating, I never really understand that. And neither does she. Maybe I'm just lucky. And now being in my 40s and having had my one and only child and nearing 15 years of marriage, I'm probably not going to have to worry about this in the future.

Of course, I don't understand officials that say they hand their game checks over to their wives, either.

Yeah, I could do the Saturday-Sunday thing, but I miss enough birthdays due to military travel, she appreciates the effort. Blocking one day in the course of a season isn't a big deal to me.

As for the marriages that crumble due to officiating; they have other issues too. Officiating alone isn't going to bring a marriage down.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

Yeah, I could do the Saturday-Sunday thing, but I miss enough birthdays due to military travel, she appreciates the effort. Blocking one day in the course of a season isn't a big deal to me.

As for the marriages that crumble due to officiating; they have other issues too. Officiating alone isn't going to bring a marriage down.

The scheduling on a birthday thing is mainly due to me forgetting when the games come rolling in. With our insane practice of scheduling 2 years in advance and with commissioners sending out contracts with 5-10 games on them, I ended up taking games when I wish I hadn't.

This coming season, though, I'm off on my kid's birthday and Valentine's Day (where we won't go out anyway because the restaurants are too crowded) and my wife's birthday (although my kid's birthday is Sunday and my wife's is Wednesday, the two days of the week no games are played around here). Off our anniversary so far, too. It's also a Wednesday in 2011.

I'll have to tell Michele......she just asked if they were all Wednesdays and Sundays -- nothing slips by her.

[BktBallRef]

Individuals and relationships are different. What works for one won't work for another. Some wives require more time than others, some kids require more time than others. There's no one size fits all. But in the long run, if you put officiating before job and family, you're going to have serious issues.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BktBallRef

Individuals and relationships are different. What works for one won't work for another. Some wives require more time than others, some kids require more time than others. There's no one size fits all. But in the long run, if you put officiating before job and family, you're going to have serious issues.

Agreed. And for each person, it's different. For example, I travel for my job (in excess of 100K air miles a year many years), and while I am with my company long enough to be able to schedule my travel around my game schedule and family life, some trips are just not negotiable. My assignors know this and as long as I get a qualified sub, they're happy.

I only work varsity baseball and basketball and have given up most of the summer rec baseball I used to work. I work nothing out of season (with the exception of two camps, I worked no hoops from March until the first scrimmage I did on Monday). People think I'm just a game snob, but it's actually my attempt to keep the proper balance. I'll only work 50 games between now and March.

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

Not me, that was Welpe.

Actually, I was commenting on Rich.

Originally Posted by BktBallRef

Individuals and relationships are different. What works for one won't work for another. Some wives require more time than others, some kids require more time than others. There's no one size fits all.

Agreed.

My wife is very understanding too. I just started a new job that requires allot of hrs. She made it very clear, that no matter how many hrs I work I need to save time to ref my games. The work will always be there.....bless her!

As for the baby birthing thing......many yrs ago, my wife was in labor for about 36 hrs with our first. The Dr. said, Mrs. G, we can keep at this for a few more hrs or we can do a c-section. She then sounded like Rocky, "Cut me Mick. Cut me." It was over less than 30 minutes later!

[Adam]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

The scheduling on a birthday thing is mainly due to me forgetting when the games come rolling in. With our insane practice of scheduling 2 years in advance and with commissioners sending out contracts with 5-10 games on them, I ended up taking games when I wish I hadn't.

Let's just say there have been a couple times where I didn't get that night blocked in time; and we did the "in lieu of" night. She was ok with it.