Unapproachable Coach vs. Unapproachable Ref

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by bainsey

I certainly agree, but that's assuming the coach sees us talking to the kid. His attention could very well be elsewhere.

You are right, but it is more their responsibility to know what is going on with their players and to tell their players the right things, then it is for me to explain a violation of the rules to a coach every time it happens.

Originally Posted by bainsey

I had a coach suggest jeffpea's approach to me one time, after a freshmen boys game where I had three plane violations (two on one team, one on the other). I was a bit amazed that he even made an issue of that (these were high school players, after all), since there are middle schoolers out there that know not to break the plane! Still, I listened to his feedback, and kept it in the back of my mind. That coach still hired me for another freshman scrimmage, anyway.

I used the "Coach, can you help me out?" approach once after that, but it was regarding an assistant coach issue, not a player. That assistant -- who seemed a bit more domineering than the head -- insisted on standing a few times to give instructions. I don't recall seeing him on his feet after I spoke with the head.

All I am saying is that you have to decide what really works for you. I like to be treated a certain way and if I am not, I am not talking to a coach. When they are reasonable, I have no problem talking. When they are acting like they got no sense, I do not want to talk to them. I would rather not talk to a coach that is flying off the handle than give them a T for their behavior if I can. Remember we are not dealing with rational and calm people. And if they do not know how to be that way, I would prefer not to talk to them. What others do is alright with me. You have to do what works for you anyway.

Peace