Haven't heard this one before

[Scratch85]

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

Actually it is: "You couldn't ref your way out of a WET paper bag WITH A FLAME THROWER!"

MTD, Sr.

I thought it was; "You couldn't pour a good call out of a wet paper bag with a flame thrower in it, if the instructions were written on the bottom of it!"

[Forksref]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

"You couldn't ref your way out of a paper bag".
.

Are you sure you're not Joe Frazier?

[Time2Ref]

Originally Posted by j51969

I worked at a place in Indy for a really famous former IU player who owned a basketball academy. There were leagues and tournaments through out the year and I would occasionally work for him. Great guy, but he is a business man, and keeping these coaches and parents happy is part of the game. If it sucks that bad get out. They are the one's who will lose in the long run when it turns into a crime scene. You can't make someone act like an adult!

Indy is a big place, but I think I know what you are talking about. Low pay, lots of abuse from coaches and parents, and no support what so ever from the management.

I threw a kid out after he pushed an airborne shooter HARD in the back with both hands. Even during the "handshake of teams", the coach was mouthing off about how bad I was.

Pregames consisted of officials telling me things like "I don't like to switch on fouls" and "It's OK to report fouls from the endline, it makes the game go quicker". With 3 minutes left in the fourth quarter, I saw my partner put his whistle inside his shirt. I guess that meant "Our job is done here, let's go home."

I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Never looked back.

I told the assigner that I would rather travel farther for less pay instead of working at that gym. He must of thought I said, don't bother getting me any more games anywhere.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Time2Ref

With 3 minutes left in the fourth quarter, I saw my partner put his whistle inside his shirt.

Maybe he was just practicing the first rule of officiating.

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Maybe he was just practicing the first rule of officiating.

Let's hope he waited 3 minutes at least before employing that rule.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Maybe he was just practicing the first rule of officiating.

Yesterday I got my December 2009 issue of the IAABO Sportorial magazine. I sat down in my recliner, after dinner, to read it over, and came across this article on page 16:

Tuning-Up Your “Pre-Game” For The New Season & “The First Rule of Officiating”

Officiating basketball today requires not only rules and mechanics
knowledge, but preparation for all the tasks you have before and after the
game – as well as when the ball goes up. For this reason, a successful
assignment begins with a thorough “pre-game.”

That’s where the “First Rule of Officiating” comes into play. At the
beginning of your pregame, the “First Rule of Officiating” will serve as
a guidepost to many of the more difficult situations that you may need to
handle during the game. Remembering the “First Rule” has prevented
many an untoward situation from degenerating into flagrant fouls and the
fallout that often ensues from such unpleasantries.

OK. What is the “First Rule of Officiating” already? Thought you’d
never ask. The “First Rule of Officiating” is ...

http://www.iaabo.org/December%202009.pdf

I stopped reading there. I was afraid to read the rest of the article. And I thought to myself, for everything that's good, and right, and pure, in the world, please don't let it be Mark Padgett's First Rule of Officiating.

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

Yesterday I got my December 2009 issue of the IAABO Sportorial magazine. I sat down in my recliner, after dinner, to read it over, and came across this article on page 16:

Tuning-Up Your “Pre-Game” For The New Season & “The First Rule of Officiating”

Officiating basketball today requires not only rules and mechanics
knowledge, but preparation for all the tasks you have before and after the
game – as well as when the ball goes up. For this reason, a successful
assignment begins with a thorough “pre-game.”

That’s where the “First Rule of Officiating” comes into play. At the
beginning of your pregame, the “First Rule of Officiating” will serve as
a guidepost to many of the more difficult situations that you may need to
handle during the game. Remembering the “First Rule” has prevented
many an untoward situation from degenerating into flagrant fouls and the
fallout that often ensues from such unpleasantries.

OK. What is the “First Rule of Officiating” already? Thought you’d
never ask. The “First Rule of Officiating” is ...

http://www.iaabo.org/December%202009.pdf

I stopped reading there. I was afraid to read the rest of the article. And I thought to myself, for everything that's good, and right, and pure, in the world, please don't let it be Mark Padgett's First Rule of Officiating.

It probably was.

[Mark Padgett]

Ya' know, you guys all make fun of my First Rule, but I bet you all follow it.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

Yesterday I got my December 2009 issue of the IAABO Sportorial magazine. I sat down in my recliner, after dinner, to read it over, and came across this article on page 16:

Tuning-Up Your “Pre-Game” For The New Season & “The First Rule of Officiating”

Officiating basketball today requires not only rules and mechanics
knowledge, but preparation for all the tasks you have before and after the
game – as well as when the ball goes up. For this reason, a successful
assignment begins with a thorough “pre-game.”

That’s where the “First Rule of Officiating” comes into play. At the
beginning of your pregame, the “First Rule of Officiating” will serve as
a guidepost to many of the more difficult situations that you may need to
handle during the game. Remembering the “First Rule” has prevented
many an untoward situation from degenerating into flagrant fouls and the
fallout that often ensues from such unpleasantries.

OK. What is the “First Rule of Officiating” already? Thought you’d
never ask. The “First Rule of Officiating” is ...

http://www.iaabo.org/December%202009.pdf

I stopped reading there. I was afraid to read the rest of the article. And I thought to myself, for everything that's good, and right, and pure, in the world, please don't let it be Mark Padgett's First Rule of Officiating.

Billy:

You just got your copy yesterday?! MTD, Jr., and I received our copies in the mail almost two weeks ago.

MTD, Sr.

[Freddy]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Ya' know, you guys all make fun of my First Rule, but I bet you all follow it.

. . . to take all my Fox 40's and soak them for a week in a container of good, industrial strength mouthwash. Then, when scheduled assignments resume after the new year, they'll be all good and fresh and minty. Also, just in case I accidentally violated Rule #1 , everything should be back in a new, antiseptic, antibacterial condition.

[tjones1]

Originally Posted by Freddy

. . . to take all my Fox 40's and soak them for a week in a container of good, industrial strength mouthwash. Then, when scheduled assignments resume after the new year, they'll be all good and fresh and minty. Also, just in case I accidentally violated Rule #1 , everything should be back in a new, antiseptic, antibacterial condition.

If you violated rule #1 and you paid the price for not following it... I would hope you would get a new whistle.

[just another ref]

Originally Posted by Scratch85

I thought it was; "You couldn't pour a good call out of a wet paper bag with a flame thrower in it, if the instructions were written on the bottom of it!"

Where I come from, instruction are often written on the bottom, but the container is a boot, and the contents are totally different.

[Back In The Saddle]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Ya' know, you guys all make fun of my First Rule, but I bet you all follow it.

Religiously!

[Scratch85]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Ya' know, you guys all make fun of my First Rule, but I bet you all follow it.

I do, I just can't get my partners to always follow it!

[Back In The Saddle]

Originally Posted by Scratch85

I do, I just can't get my partners to always follow it!

Unless you're sharing whistles, why do you care? :confused?