admitting to a coach you made a mistake

[sing19702000]

I have general question about dealing with coaches. If you admit to a coach that you have made a mistake on a call or no call, he responds by saying that that mistake is in a critical time of the game and he yells at you very loudly to show you up. How do you respond to that or do you respond at all.

[DonInKansas]

whack!!!!

[jdmara]

Definitely a HTBT situation. You have to know when or if you should admit a mistake to a coach. If he is being boisterous and making a scene you have to know when to draw the line. If he crosses the line, he has earned a technical.

-Josh

[BillyMac]

General Techniques:
If you’ve missed a call or made a mistake; admit it. This technique can only be used sparingly, perhaps once a game.

Specific Communication Examples: Coach has a good point and might be right.
“You’ve got a good point and might be right about that play.”
“You might be right, that’s one we’ll talk about at halftime/intermission/the next time out.”
“You might be right; I may not have had the best angle on that play.”

Source: Topeka (Kansas) Officials Association

[fiasco]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

General Techniques:
If you’ve missed a call or made a mistake; admit it. This technique can only be used sparingly, perhaps once a game.

Specific Communication Examples: Coach has a good point and might be right.
“You’ve got a good point and might be right about that play.”
“You might be right, that’s one we’ll talk about at halftime/intermission/the next time out.”
“You might be right; I may not have had the best angle on that play.”

Source: Topeka (Kansas) Officials Association

For the record, "you might be right" is not admitting a mistake.

"You're right, coach. I missed that call" is admitting a mistake.

It's dumb to teach someone they should admit their mistake and then teach them how to get around admitting it.

[JRutledge]

The only time you should admit a mistake is when the mistake is obvious or a clear rules violation. If it is simply a judgment call and it was close, you should not have to admit a mistake. If you are constantly admitting to mistakes, then something has to change.

It is hard to tell in this situation if a T was warranted. It would really depend on who you are talking and how they are talking to you. I can see how this could lead to a T, but it is not automatic by any means. Most coaches should realize you messed up and move on. If they do not, then you have to take care of business or walk away. Then that coach would never get my ear again if they cannot be professional.

Peace

[TheOracle]

Originally Posted by sing19702000

I have general question about dealing with coaches. If you admit to a coach that you have made a mistake on a call or no call, he responds by saying that that mistake is in a critical time of the game and he yells at you very loudly to show you up. How do you respond to that or do you respond at all.

"You think I missed it on purpose? (or you think I am happy about it) That is the last thing you say to me tonight." Anything further from him is a T.

[Mregor]

Originally Posted by TheOracle

"You think I missed it on purpose? (or you think I am happy about it) That is the last thing you say to me tonight." Anything further from him is a T.

I don't like this at all. The part about missing it on purpose is baiting him. Do you really want him to answer that question?

In the OP, he admitted a mistake and the coach wouldn't let it go. If that's me, I'm going to let him vent a while as it was my mistake and then I'm telling him we are moving on. If he doesn't want to move on and refuses to let go, I'm walking away. What he does when I walk away will dictate if he needs to be stuck or not.

Mregor

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Mregor

The part about missing it on purpose is baiting him.

But that's what you do with a flounder.

[Berkut]

Originally Posted by Mregor

I don't like this at all. The part about missing it on purpose is baiting him. Do you really want him to answer that question?

I've heard this before, and I am not sure what it means - "baiting him".

Is there something I can say that if he responds inappropriately to then his response is no longer owned by him, but by me? I am not sure I accept this suggestion that something *I* say somehow forces another adult to say something he should not, and therefore it is no longer his fault, but mine.

[mbyron]

It's not about force, it's about attitude. Sarcasm rarely plays well with emotionally wrought people, and we know that going in. It's just not funny to them and usually occasions (I won't say 'causes') an inappropriate response, and that's almost always counter-productive.

Answer questions, don't discuss. Be honest but concise. Do your job.

[Berkut]

Originally Posted by mbyron

It's not about force, it's about attitude. Sarcasm rarely plays well with emotionally wrought people, and we know that going in. It's just not funny to them and usually occasions (I won't say 'causes') an inappropriate response, and that's almost always counter-productive.

Answer questions, don't discuss. Be honest but concise. Do your job.

I agree with all this - and I certainly own my own response to the coach, and have my own responsibility to be professional and not escalate the situation.

I just don't like the idea that we might "bait" someone, I guess - like it is our job to make sure they don't have a reason to say something they should not. At the end of the day, they are responsible for what they say, as I am responsible for what I say. While I am aware that I can say things that will anger them, that doesn't in any way, IMO, release them to go ahead and say something they should not.

And the idea seems, to me, to simply give them an excuse for going off - they can just claim "Hey, that official baited me!". I guess it comes back to one of my pet peeves - the idea that our job includes trying to convince adults to act like adults.

Anyway, not a huge deal, I suppose. Such is life - sometimes we have to do what even if we don't like it.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Berkut

I've heard this before, and I am not sure what it means - "baiting him".

Is there something I can say that if he responds inappropriately to then his response is no longer owned by him, but by me? I am not sure I accept this suggestion that something *I* say somehow forces another adult to say something he should not, and therefore it is no longer his fault, but mine.

While he certainly owns his response regardless, officials have been known to play a part in this.

Coach: "that's 9 fouls to 2"
Ref: "Are you accusing me of cheating?"
Coach: "Now that you mention it, yes."
Whack!

Oracle's advice may not be directly baiting him, but it's certainly a leading question. Or, at the very least, it could be taken that way by a coach who is caught up in the game.

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

While he certainly owns his response regardless, officials have been known to play a part in this.

Coach: "that's 9 fouls to 2"
Ref: "Are you accusing me of cheating?"
Coach: "Now that you mention it, yes."
Whack!

Oracle's advice may not be directly baiting him, but it's certainly a leading question. Or, at the very least, it could be taken that way by a coach who is caught up in the game.

I actually don't have a problem with asking that question in your scenario. We all know most coaches say this to imply we are not calling the game fairly and we need to make a couple of boarderline calls in their favor now to even things up. This question removes any subtlety from the situation, and most coaches understand if they take the conversation any further, it becomes an easy T.

There could be some people skills needed to determine how and when to use this approach. In some situations, simply ignoring the comment is best. For others, this question serves as the warning that we are done playing word games.

[Adam]

If done at the right time and rarely, it can work well. "Coach, I'm sure you're right but I got straight lined."

IMO, it works best for no-calls.