admitting to a coach you made a mistake

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Berkut

I've heard this before, and I am not sure what it means - "baiting him".

Is there something I can say that if he responds inappropriately to then his response is no longer owned by him, but by me? I am not sure I accept this suggestion that something *I* say somehow forces another adult to say something he should not, and therefore it is no longer his fault, but mine.

While he certainly owns his response regardless, officials have been known to play a part in this.

Coach: "that's 9 fouls to 2"
Ref: "Are you accusing me of cheating?"
Coach: "Now that you mention it, yes."
Whack!

Oracle's advice may not be directly baiting him, but it's certainly a leading question. Or, at the very least, it could be taken that way by a coach who is caught up in the game.

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

While he certainly owns his response regardless, officials have been known to play a part in this.

Coach: "that's 9 fouls to 2"
Ref: "Are you accusing me of cheating?"
Coach: "Now that you mention it, yes."
Whack!

Oracle's advice may not be directly baiting him, but it's certainly a leading question. Or, at the very least, it could be taken that way by a coach who is caught up in the game.

I actually don't have a problem with asking that question in your scenario. We all know most coaches say this to imply we are not calling the game fairly and we need to make a couple of boarderline calls in their favor now to even things up. This question removes any subtlety from the situation, and most coaches understand if they take the conversation any further, it becomes an easy T.

There could be some people skills needed to determine how and when to use this approach. In some situations, simply ignoring the comment is best. For others, this question serves as the warning that we are done playing word games.

[Adam]

I can see your point, but I'm not sure it applies to the OP. I think when, where, and with whom are very important factors for this. If you're acknowledging a mistake, I don't think it's generally best to take this approach. The whole point of the conversation is to ease tensions by letting the coach know you are aware you screwed up; I've never had that go bad when I've done it. Then again, I don't recall doing that with the same coach twice. And usually, it was a matter of getting straight lined, or acknowledging to the winning coach in a blowout that I may have missed a borderline travel on the losing team. (the expected thing around here whether I agree or not)

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I can see your point, but I'm not sure it applies to the OP. I think when, where, and with whom are very important factors for this. If you're acknowledging a mistake, I don't think it's generally best to take this approach. The whole point of the conversation is to ease tensions by letting the coach know you are aware you screwed up; I've never had that go bad when I've done it. Then again, I don't recall doing that with the same coach twice. And usually, it was a matter of getting straight lined, or acknowledging to the winning coach in a blowout that I may have missed a borderline travel on the losing team. (the expected thing around here whether I agree or not)

I was only repsonding to the narrow subject of whether you were "baiting" a coach in regards to the "fouls are 9 to 2" comment. But you are right, if the reason the fouls are 9 to 2 is because you and your crew have screwed up 5 or 6 of those calls, then I wouldn't recommend answering in that manner either.

In terms of the OP, I agree with you that occasionally admitting an obvious mistake can go a long way towards a good coach/official relationship. And, as others have already mentioned, it must be used vary sparingly.

Originally Posted by M&M Guy

In terms of the OP, I agree with you that occasionally admitting an obvious mistake can go a long way towards a good coach/official relationship. And, as others have already mentioned, it must be used vary sparingly.

And please try not to have that conversation with under 2 minutes to go in a competitive game

"Only once & never a gamer" is what I've heard.