Chastised for double T on Coach

[Bishopcolle]

1st T: on a 1/1 FT, he is standing behind me (lead, administering) whispers "Idiot." WHACK!.....As I am reporting, and returning to administer T FTs, he asks "What's that for?" I tell him, "I heard the idiot comment, Coach." He immediately jumps back with "You need to learn how to officiate. You're the worst ref I've ever seen!" So I whacked him again, and tossed him. First T's of the year. After faxing in my report, and making a verbal telcal, the next day the State High School office advises that I need to slow down on the second T, and get some distance (which I agree with and try to do) and that I need to swallow my whistle and have a deaf ear (which I don't buy, but I can support their position and philosophy, if so mandated.) I just don't see that the NFHS rules supports that the Coach gets a "free shot" at me once he has earned the first T. Short of the F-Bomb, leave him alone, I was told. Again, I agree you need to give him some room and distance, and time, but I felt his comments were too unsportsmanlike, and in front of the kids. How wrong was I?