coach addressing ref by first name

[PIAA REF]

I kinda agree with Snack and JR. But with this issue I may be a middle of the road type of guy. They can say hey Steve didn't he get bumped I have no problem but when it becomes an ongoing berating of my name then I have an issue. And to go back to this thread and threads of the past Coaches will respect you more for doing what is right ALL THE TIME. If they are deserving of a T give them one don't worry about getting scratched or whatever the case may be. One thing that frustrates me as I watch the JV games that precedes my game is some younger officials that allow coaches to walk all over them. Stand up to them, once you do you will gain respect. BUT there is a fine line. When I say stand up to them you need to do so in a professional manner. The other thing that I see is we have officials that have this big EGO trip as soon as they put the shirt and whistle on. If you want to be respected as an official you need to give respect to coaches. Answer their questions when they can be answered. A read an article that was written by a NCAA ref and it made a good point when talking to coaches. It's ok to allow coaches to have the last word every now and again. Because as officials we have the final word.

[MCJB Ump]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

And frankly, I take less in middle school than in high school. Ask him much sooner what his question is.

The lower the age group the worse the coaches are in regards to chirping about calls.

[Texas Aggie]

I have several coaches address me by my first name. I don't have any problem with it. If they know me that well, they know using my name won't get them anything special.

Coaches are generally very good about remembering names.

[Kelvin green]

Here is my question

when you introduce yourselves to the coach what do you say I'm Mr Green or I'm Kelvin? (your names of course) We intorduce ourselves by full name or by first name..

Its not the name that matters it is how they use it... If you have reffed for coaches a lot, you know their names too..

I have no problem (if they arent being idiots and disrespectful) to say things like

Hey Kelvin watch the illegal screen next time down, or Kelvin give me a timeout... Its where they are being dinks and I dont care if they call be by first name or Mr President they wont get away with the garbage stuff.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

For HS games put me in the "differently" category. The reason being that none of the coaches know me personally. I was brought to this community by the military, I didn't grow up here, didn't attend school with any of the coaches, and none served in the military with me.

There is only one coach who I wouldn't mind calling me by my first name and that's because when he sees me away from games he greets me by my first name and he engages me in cordial conversation. No other coach around here does that.

I am not from my area, either. Makes no difference. I would no sooner insist upon a player referring to me other than as "Rich," let alone a coach.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

I am not from my area, either. Makes no difference. I would no sooner insist upon a player referring to me other than as "Rich," let alone a coach.

Definitely wouldn't have high school or college players address me by my first name. But that has nothing to do with officiating. I don't let my children address adults by first name unless there is a 'Mr.' or 'Miss' in front of it. And I expect the same respect from their friends when they address me. All my teenage son's friends address me as Mr. 'LastName'. My 10 year-old's friends usually go with Mr. 'FirstName'.

[CMHCoachNRef]

Originally Posted by beachbum

Situation:

so, my question is, how do the experienced officials handle a coach when they are addressing you by first name????.

I know many officials in my area do not allow coaches to use the official's first name when addressing them. Some of them just don't like to hear their name shouted out (perhaps it reminds them of their childhood ). Others feel that it sounds too "friendly" that the coach and referee are on a first name basis. I view it a bit differently. First of all, we ought to know each other's first names -- after all, we introduced ourselves to one another before the game. When I am at work, if a client likes a decision I have made, they will typically use my first name. When a client does not like a decision I have made, they will typically use my first name as well. They don't refer to me by my title, they use my first name. Therefore, I have never had a problem with coaches using my first name -- as long as it is done in a courteous way -- even if they happen to disagree with a judgment that just went againt them.

[mick]

Originally Posted by beachbum

so, my question is, how do the experienced officials handle a coach when they are addressing you by first name????.

No problems.
Since I have a tendancy to shut out environmental noise, hearing my name puts me on alert. Thus, I am more likely to respond in kind.
...Yet, the coaches remain "Coach" to me.

[MrUmpire]

Originally Posted by beachbum

Situation:

boys Midschool game Coach for team A is long time friend.

You definitely need a higher class of friends.

[beachbum]

Ok guys.... Wednesday, i get the honor of officiating the same coach in another Mid boys varsity game. he is a friend...or was. How would you handle the situation.

Talk to him before the game or just pretend that nothing happened.

My thoughts are to take on the issue and say...Coach we are friends and if you want to call me by name, thats ok. but it is un sportsman like to loudly challenge all of the plays you don't like, I'm trying hard to do the best i can. if you want to ask a question, coach to official, i will answer them.

[williebfree]

Originally Posted by beachbum

Ok guys.... Wednesday, i get the honor of officiating the same coach in another Mid boys varsity game. he is a friend...or was. How would you handle the situation.

Talk to him before the game or just pretend that nothing happened.

My thoughts are to take on the issue and say...Coach we are friends and if you want to call me by name, thats ok. but it is un sportsman like to loudly challenge all of the plays you don't like, I'm trying hard to do the best i can. if you want to ask a question, coach to official, i will answer them.

If you want the same miserable experience you had last time, do nothing.

I sensed a couple things from this and your earlier posts:

1. You are not confident in your rules knowledge and/or lack court presence. These are basic officiating skills which need to improve with each game.

2. You are intimidated by your "friend" who knows he can get the upper hand whenever he challenges you, because (see number 1).

Obviously I do not know the depth of your relationship with this coach, but it seems he thinks its ok to ridicule and abuse you in public. Not the kind of "friends" I would keep.

My recommendation:

If you feel you owe this "friend" the courtesy, tell him before the game that he gets no "special treatment" and if he acts the way he did in the previous game he can expect to be dealt with the same way an other official would handle the situation. If he asks for more details... tell him to not risk finding out.

Bottom line:
Man up and use the rules "tools" that are granted you.

[beachbum]

Everyone likes happy endings!!!!!!!

This morning i ran into the coach that started this thread, by calling me by name in disputing my call's, at a local running event. I smiled and extended my hand and we shook. I said "Roger you can call me by my name whenever you want." he said " I was out of line in that game cause my team was getting blownout and they weren't playing well. Let's not let this get in the way"

It goes to show you how people in general get caught up in the emotion of an event and react. Even Ref's

I'm glad i made the first move!!!!!

[mick]

Originally Posted by beachbum

Everyone likes happy endings!!!!!!!

This morning i ran into the coach that started this thread, by calling me by name in disputing my call's, at a local running event. I smiled and extended my hand and we shook. I said "Roger you can call me by my name whenever you want." he said " I was out of line in that game cause my team was getting blownout and they weren't playing well. Let's not let this get in the way"

It goes to show you how people in general get caught up in the emotion of an event and react. Even Ref's

I'm glad i made the first move!!!!!

[williebfree]

Originally Posted by beachbum

Everyone likes happy endings!!!!!!!

This morning i ran into the coach that started this thread, by calling me by name in disputing my call's, at a local running event. I smiled and extended my hand and we shook. I said "Roger you can call me by my name whenever you want." he said " I was out of line in that game cause my team was getting blownout and they weren't playing well. Let's not let this get in the way"

It goes to show you how people in general get caught up in the emotion of an event and react. Even Ref's

I'm glad i made the first move!!!!!

Well.... let us know how the next game goes... I wish for the best.