dealing with coaches

[beachbum]

I'm a second year official that is doing mid school and high school JV games.I am interested in hearing how the experienced guys handle the high school coaches, when they complain.

some people I work with say to never talk to coach and some say you need to talk but not discuss plays. Others..well they think you just T them up if they jabber too much.

what do all of you say????

[jdmara]

First of all, welcome to the forum...We have a few threads already on this. Here is one of them:

Communications with Coaches

I believe the first and foremost way to deal with coaches is not to wait until something bad happens. Introduce yourself before the game and build a little bit of creditability before the game even starts. Be professional, respectful, and personable. Using proper mechanics goes a long way with building confidence with the coach. There are many examples in that thread that will be very helpful (ie post #8). Once again, welcome

-Josh

[bob jenkins]

You need to do what fits your personality and the situation. There's no one answer.

[stripes]

Originally Posted by bob jenkins

You need to do what fits your personality and the situation. There's no one answer.

This is true. What works with one coach may not work with another. You have to try some things out and see what happens. Make some mental notes and use things that work better.

Ignoring coaches is rarely the best answer.

[Adam]

General rule: Answer questions and ignore commentary. This "rule" only works about 90% of the time, though.

[FrankHtown]

One thing I'm trying very hard NOT do this year is get defensive when a coach complains. I'll listen, and tell them what I saw. At some point, it may come down to "Coach, on this one, we may have to agree to disagree."

I find some of the "canned" phrases work very well: "Coach, I'm looking for that at both ends" "Coach, I think I had a pretty good angle on that call." "Coach, you may be right. I'll work harder to get a better look at it next time."

I find a lot of times they just want to vent, and if you can keep your cool, it prevents the discussion from escalating.

But you have to tailor it to your disposition. It has taken me a long time to NOT get defensive, and feel comfortable communicating with coaches.

But I have found "don't ignore them" is very good advice.

[Adam]

My first game of the season, I'm T with the visitor's HC in my pocket, first half. Home's pg is in the midst of a crowd and "probably" double dribbles. I didn't have a clear view due to the crowd.

Coach: "She double dribbled. That was a...."
Me: "I missed it."
Coach, smiling: "Okay."

It helped he was winning handily.

[dbking]

Remember that they have an emotional interest in the outcome!

I think that there are several things that work for me.

First one that always helps is:

"Tell me what you saw coach." Listen, then reply with the truth. My normal reply is "... coach I believe that I was in position to make the call and from my angle it did not look like that. I would love to see the video of game, would you please send after the game." Be very succinct and brief but do not appear to walk away from coach. This normally works best after a foul call and you are table side. That is why we go table side in three mechanics.

Second on that sometimes can break the ice"

"Coach I am not sure that I heard a question in there, could you rephrase that a little." I normally use this when I know the coach a little bit better.

Third that you can use once in a blue moon

"Coach I absolutely booted that call. That one is on me."

Fourth one is

"Coach I was in position and I saw the whole play."

Fifth one is

"Coach when you calm down and state a question, I will listen but until then you will have to yell some one else."

Sixth one is

talk to one of the assistants and tell them to rein the head coach in

[btaylor64]

Originally Posted by FrankHtown

One thing I'm trying very hard NOT do this year is get defensive when a coach complains. I'll listen, and tell them what I saw. At some point, it may come down to "Coach, on this one, we may have to agree to disagree."

I find some of the "canned" phrases work very well: "Coach, I'm looking for that at both ends" "Coach, I think I had a pretty good angle on that call." "Coach, you may be right. I'll work harder to get a better look at it next time."

I find a lot of times they just want to vent, and if you can keep your cool, it prevents the discussion from escalating.

But you have to tailor it to your disposition. It has taken me a long time to NOT get defensive, and feel comfortable communicating with coaches.

But I have found "don't ignore them" is very good advice.

Why are you looking for something to call?


Why are you not working hard all the time?

These are just some ways in which coaches can turn these statements around on you. If you decide to use them, I would say 'watch' instead of 'look' and I would just tell the coach that the angle closed on me, cause that better happen more than you not actually working hard to get the angle. I always work hard to get the angle, but sometimes from your position you just can't get the angle.

I would also read the article about NBA refs and coaches. That could tell you alot about how coaches approach situations w/ refs and how they expect refs to act, keeping in mind that at the HS level some coaches don't know any better than to act a fool and putting them in their place might settle them down... eventually. Most don't know how to get a "calculated technical". They are always surprised when they get them.

Good luck to you.

[OHBBREF]

Originally Posted by stripes

This is true. What works with one coach may not work with another. You have to try some things out and see what happens. Make some mental notes and use things that work better.

Ignoring coaches is rarely the best answer.

Solid advice, answer their questions - susinctly stick to the rule, stick to what you saw - do not wing it, you will eventually say something wrong and you will pay for it.

Do not get in a running conversation with a coach, the less said the less trouble you can get yourself into. Innocent remarks can be taken out of context and then you have a problem.

Do not innitiate conversations with Coaches, believe me if they want to hear from you, they will let you know.
Work on your posture so that you apear open and receptive when you are talking to them. (example - having your arms crossed in front of you give a closed off impression as though you are not listening or willing to take in information).

RELAX!

[LSams]

Originally Posted by OHBBREF

Work on your posture so that you apear open and receptive when you are talking to them. (example - having your arms crossed in front of you give a closed off impression as though you are not listening or willing to take in information).

RELAX!

I picked up a pointer several years back that, on posture -- I always try to stand beside a coach when we're talking -- shoulder to shoulder. This keeps the coach from "getting in your face" (and you as well) and is a less confrontational posture -- also helps you keep your eyes on the floor.

[TheOracle]

Originally Posted by beachbum

I'm a second year official that is doing mid school and high school JV games.I am interested in hearing how the experienced guys handle the high school coaches, when they complain.

If you can really put yourself in their shoes, and figure out how you would like to be addressed if you were that coach, you'll usually come out successful. That allows you to determine if he really should have a longer leash in a situation or not. A lot of people have a hard time with that for myriad reasons, but real life imitates officiating life in these instance. Empathy is a great skill at all times.