dealing with coaches

[TheOracle]

Originally Posted by beachbum

I'm a second year official that is doing mid school and high school JV games.I am interested in hearing how the experienced guys handle the high school coaches, when they complain.

If you can really put yourself in their shoes, and figure out how you would like to be addressed if you were that coach, you'll usually come out successful. That allows you to determine if he really should have a longer leash in a situation or not. A lot of people have a hard time with that for myriad reasons, but real life imitates officiating life in these instance. Empathy is a great skill at all times.

[JRutledge]

Also another factor is your physicality as an official. The size, race, body type and gender can all play a role in how you are treated and how they react to you as an official. This is not something often talked about, but there is an underlining factor depending on who you are dealing with.

The bottom line we are in the people business and people react to different people for all kinds of different reasons. And what works for me might not work for you based on experience or reputation. The more you are seen the more coaches will respect you or show a lack of respect based on what you have done. This is why working games and getting experience is should really be your focus and you will learn how to talk to coaches better as time goes on.

Peace

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Yes, it's a very simple gesture involving only one finger - and you can use either hand. In fact, doing it with both hands adds to the meaning.

Oh, I get it, a jump ball!

[Judtech]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Oh, I get it, a jump ball!

I was thinking it was the 1 and 1 signal. Hmmm

I agree that there is something to your physical presence. Being a taller official it gives me some immediate credibility b/c the coaches assume I played. (Of course in HS it helps that I am married to an area coach!)

Also, let your personality come through. Know what you are comfortable with and go with it.

[BBall_Junkie]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Oh, I get it, a jump ball!

Close but not quite... You are on the right track so keep thinking...

Mark, I have never given consideration to the increased impact of the "dual" signal but I think you are on to something. I have always thought it important to be able to officiate amphibiously (you know, use either hand) for mechanics for a smooth, polished look and don't generally use both hands for the same mechanic (outside of a jump ball of course). I might have to work this into my game

Disclaimer: Before anyone goes off the deep end... all of my comments here are tongue in cheek and I would never be "unproffessional" on the court

[Rich]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Also another factor is your physicality as an official. The size, race, body type and gender can all play a role in how you are treated and how they react to you as an official. This is not something often talked about, but there is an underlining factor depending on who you are dealing with.

The bottom line we are in the people business and people react to different people for all kinds of different reasons. And what works for me might not work for you based on experience or reputation. The more you are seen the more coaches will respect you or show a lack of respect based on what you have done. This is why working games and getting experience is should really be your focus and you will learn how to talk to coaches better as time goes on.

Peace

This is all true to a certain extent. I am working two coaches tonight I've seen at least a half-dozen times each. I know the personalities and I know what to expect. I know that I've never had problems with either coach whereas others have. That means nothing -- tonight could be my night. I do know a close friend whacked the one coach Saturday for telling him to clean his glasses on an OOB call. And those two (coach/official) have a professional relationship and know each other quite well.

What's equally important, IMO, is how you come across to the coaches. I see newer officials rush to the table, avoid eye contact, and look nervous or scared when a coach talks to them. You should be able to look a coach in the eye and have a civilized conversation with them, even when he/she disagrees with you. It's when you ignore them or when you avert their eye contact or can't put an intelligent sentence together that they become sharks with you being food in the water.

That said, varsity coaches are, on a whole, more experienced and know how to deal with officials better. I filled in at the last minute in a JV game last season and I had to TCB early with two coaches that were used to running all over the officials. By the end of the game, we were all "buddies."

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BBall_Junkie

Close but not quite... You are on the right track so keep thinking...

Mark, I have never given consideration to the increased impact of the "dual" signal but I think you are on to something. I have always thought it important to be able to officiate amphibiously (you know, use either hand) for mechanics for a smooth, polished look and don't generally use both hands for the same mechanic (outside of a jump ball of course). I might have to work this into my game

Disclaimer: Before anyone goes off the deep end... all of my comments here are tongue in cheek and I would never be "unproffessional" on the court

I know that being amphibious you probably do better than an official that has only gills. Unless we're in the Water Polo forum (do the horses wear breathing apparatuses?).

Originally Posted by just another ref

His mouth opened..........and not another word came out. My idea at the time was that the phrase team control was foreign to him.

Any phrase in the rule book is foreign to a coach.

[beachbum]

after reading all the posts, I think I can now sum up everyones thoughts in 4 words

BE
OPEN
FIRM
HONEST
FRIENDLY

anything else to add???

[Scrapper1]

Originally Posted by beachbum

I can now sum up everyones thoughts in 4 words

BE
OPEN
FIRM
HONEST
FRIENDLY

anything else to add???

I'm sure there's something I could add. . . What is it I'm looking for. . .?

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by Scrapper1

I'm sure there's something I could add. . . What is it I'm looking for. . .?

Mr. Annoying Math Guy. (4 words.)

[CoachP]

Originally Posted by M&M Guy

Mr. Annoying Math Guy. (4 words.)

Mr Annoying Binary Guy (100 words)

I think rules meetings are required in Michigan for coaches...not that it helps with people skills, but.......

[Adam]

Originally Posted by CoachP

Mr Annoying Binary Guy (100 words)

I think rules meetings are required in Michigan for coaches...not that it helps with people skills, but.......

I've been to rules meetings with coaches; it's like study hall.

[btaylor64]

Originally Posted by FrankHtown

One thing I'm trying very hard NOT do this year is get defensive when a coach complains. I'll listen, and tell them what I saw. At some point, it may come down to "Coach, on this one, we may have to agree to disagree."

I find some of the "canned" phrases work very well: "Coach, I'm looking for that at both ends" "Coach, I think I had a pretty good angle on that call." "Coach, you may be right. I'll work harder to get a better look at it next time."

I find a lot of times they just want to vent, and if you can keep your cool, it prevents the discussion from escalating.

But you have to tailor it to your disposition. It has taken me a long time to NOT get defensive, and feel comfortable communicating with coaches.

But I have found "don't ignore them" is very good advice.

Why are you looking for something to call?


Why are you not working hard all the time?

These are just some ways in which coaches can turn these statements around on you. If you decide to use them, I would say 'watch' instead of 'look' and I would just tell the coach that the angle closed on me, cause that better happen more than you not actually working hard to get the angle. I always work hard to get the angle, but sometimes from your position you just can't get the angle.

I would also read the article about NBA refs and coaches. That could tell you alot about how coaches approach situations w/ refs and how they expect refs to act, keeping in mind that at the HS level some coaches don't know any better than to act a fool and putting them in their place might settle them down... eventually. Most don't know how to get a "calculated technical". They are always surprised when they get them.

Good luck to you.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

This is all true to a certain extent. I am working two coaches tonight I've seen at least a half-dozen times each. I know the personalities and I know what to expect. I know that I've never had problems with either coach whereas others have. That means nothing -- tonight could be my night. I do know a close friend whacked the one coach Saturday for telling him to clean his glasses on an OOB call. And those two (coach/official) have a professional relationship and know each other quite well.

What's equally important, IMO, is how you come across to the coaches. I see newer officials rush to the table, avoid eye contact, and look nervous or scared when a coach talks to them. You should be able to look a coach in the eye and have a civilized conversation with them, even when he/she disagrees with you. It's when you ignore them or when you avert their eye contact or can't put an intelligent sentence together that they become sharks with you being food in the water.

That said, varsity coaches are, on a whole, more experienced and know how to deal with officials better. I filled in at the last minute in a JV game last season and I had to TCB early with two coaches that were used to running all over the officials. By the end of the game, we were all "buddies."

Pretty easy one tonight, but I do have one moment I'd like back. Home coach made a comment about a three second violation and I responded to the comment. In this case, responding with silence would've been better and I know better than that cause it just caused him to make another comment, "aw, c'mon, don't just make it up."

I thought, "I deserved that," and about then the ball was going in the other direction.

I think that was a minute into the game and I didn't hear another word all night.

Oh, both my partners called a 3-second violation, but, whew, my streak is still alive.