Conflict of Interest...

[JugglingReferee]

A number of years ago I was dating a girl who was (still is) a basketball official, and who later achieved some success. She was T with her back to the coach on the opposite end of the court. I'm L opposite side and it is very loud (close game, etc...) and this coach is on the court yelling at my girlfriend about a missed call. I mean, the expression on his face was crazy. I had no idea what he say saying, but I'm sure he wasn't hitting on her.

I blew my whistle, started running to the FRA, everyone looking to me. I stopped and T'd him up. Going through my mind was, "there's no way you can talk to my girlfriend like that." A humbling experience to say the least. Yes, the T was deserved even though my P was my gf.

AFWIW, she didn't miss the call. She had a great no-call.

I don't think that I would do that again - ref with a gf.

[BillyMac]

Many,many years ago, my son played in Little League, B Division, on a team that I coached. In this league batters batted against a pitching machine. First and third base coaches were also expected to act as umpires. In one partciular game, my son tried to go from first to third on a single to the outfield. I was the third base coach/umpire. My son made a great slide into third, but the outfielder made an even better throw, and the third baseman made a great sweep tag, just barely getting my son out. I called my son out, tough call, but the right call. My son and my wife didn't speak to me for the rest of the weekend. Officiating a game in which a family member is participating is a lose, lose situation.

I am a retired middle school teacher, and retired middle school basketball coach, in the town in which I live, taught, and coached. I close out our local high school from my officiating schedule, even though I've been retired for almost four years.

Occassionally I will officiate a private school or Catholic school game, and I am surprised to see a former player warming up, or a former teammate of my daugter who played AAU basketball at another town's high school. These situations are unavoidable, I'm not going to close out all the private schools and Catholic schools, or high schools where my daughter's AAU teammates play, that use our local board's officials. Over the years I have officiated games in which some of my former players, or in one case, a former volunteer assistant coach of mine, a student teacher in our school, were coaches or assistant coaches in games that I officiated. If I were to close out all these games, It would really limit my availability. In these cases, I make sure that my communication with my former players is limited to professional topics. I have never been uncomfortable in these situations. If I ever felt uncomfortable officiating these games, or if I were ever questioned about a conflict of interest, by an opposing coach, athletic director, or an official on my board, I would close out the school in question immediately.

When you've been officiating for 26 years, like me, you develop professional relationships with long-time coaches and athletic directors. They almost become a kind of friend, certainly more than just an aquantience. In these situations, like those that I've mentioned above, I've never felt uncomfortable officiating these games. If, and when, I feel any discomfort officiating these games, I will know that it's time to close out those schools.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by JugglingReferee

A number of years ago I was dating a girl who was (still is) a basketball official, and who later achieved some success.

Yeah, but did you achieve any success with her?

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Yeah, but did you achieve any success with her?

Her "success" was stopping her dating of Juggler.....

She was wise beyond her years.....

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Her "success" was stopping her dating of Juggler.....

She was wise beyond her years.....

I wonder what it was like dating Violet Palmer.

[NURef]

Okay, just to finish the story now that the tourney is over.

I get switched to the main gym due to the conflict game (There are 2 gyms in this HS.). The assignor was there and it was no big deal for the other officials. So, cool, no problem, everything's great...Right? Not.

I finish my game (in regulation), cool down and figure it's okay to slip into the "Back gym" to see how my daughter's game is going. Close game, but they're up by 6 with 45 seconds, then 4, then 2 and bingo the game is tied and we have OT (meanwhile the next game has already started in the main gym).

As the teams huddle to prep for the OT the assignor comes running into the gym to tell one of the officials (the one I'm going to replace after my daughter's game is over) that he's got to get over to the other HS ASAP with him...like now. He knows the situation but looks over at me and says "You have got to finish this game...". I'm like no way.

He goes over to the coaches and administrator to tell them he has an emergency and must replace one official...explains my connection to one of the teams and everything. They all say fine and though I'm reluctant the coaches assure me they will take full responsibility for anything that happens and that they feel I'll do a great job...I happen to know both coaches.

Folks, I can't believe I'm even telling you this but I went ahead and officiated the over-time. My daughter's team lost by 2 and we didn't hear a peep from anyone. I guess we could have come up with another alternative but things were happening so fast it was like the next thing I knew I was standing on the court.

This wasn't the priceless moment I was hoping for...sorry I let down most of the people who responded to this post. Next time I'm asking for another location.

[Boiler14]

I think everyone's take on the subject has been very informative...and they seem to have all been covered, too.

There are definately more things that can go wrong and very little that can go right.

The poster that said after 26 years you build relationships with coaches and AD's brings up what I think is an excellent point that I was thinking about reading through the posts. Even though it isn't a son or daughter, these relationships are there and can put one in just as bad situation.

The big difference is that the fans won't necessarily recognize friendships like this but they may notice or hear about your kid playing in the game you are working.

When you work in the school system and officiate I think you build more relationships if you are a coach or AD with other schools. I coach a spring varsity sport and I have ran across other coaches who coach basketball as well. The players you coach against also recognize you and may say hi during warm ups. They are difficult to avoid.

Although no one suggest working a varsity game where their kid is playing, I don't have a problem with others doing it in the summer or lower levels. My kids aren't old enough where I have been put in that situation, so I will reserve the right to change my mind later. The times I've seen this in action (fortunately) there has not been a problem.

I think it boils down to the us as individuals. If you are okay with it, and the director/assigner/or whoever is okay with it, then go with it. If you don't want to put yourself in that situation, I'm going to support that decision as well.

[Toadman15241]

I am a baseball umpire that is just reading this forum, but thought I could provide some insight.

A few years ago I was a senior in high school but also umpired high school ball (Frosh, JV, and Varsity. I told the assignor NEVER to give me my high school's games. Well, one day I show up at the field and what do I find? My HS frosh team is the visiting team (with one of my teachers as the coach). I called the assignor who told me to do the game. I had known the Home Coach since I was about 5 and went and asked him if he had a problem with me doing the game. He told me that he knew me and that he had no problem with me doing the game.

It was by far the worst umpiring experience of my life. Although there were no issues in the game, I knew that I was doing the wrong thing. After the game I called my assignor again and told him that next time I would not do it.

[Scrapper1]

Originally Posted by NURef

sorry I let down most of the people who responded to this post. Next time I'm asking for another location.

I don't think you let anybody down here. It's obviously less than an ideal situation, but it wasn't a situation that you created. It's more important that the game was played.

Now (unfortunately) you have some personal experience about what we've all been discussing, that's all. And as somebody else pointed out, it's not like it was a varsity game. Chalk it up to a learning experience, take the kid out for an ice cream, and move on.

[NURef]

Originally Posted by Scrapper1

Chalk it up to a learning experience, take the kid out for an ice cream, and move on.

That's funny you said that...that's exactly what we did after the last game...ice cream and laughed about it.

Thanks...next subject

[refprof]

i have done several of my daughter's basketball games. she has always hated it because i wound up watching her and not the defense. and, as a center, she would get beat on and I wouldn't call anything.

but, it always was a special time and now that she is retired, we share those special experiences.