What's your response?

Midway through the first half of a very competitive Mens Comp ballgame with some above the rim play, both teams are 4-1 the winner has sole ownership of 1st place heading into the second half of the season, a player from Team A complains (in passing) about the other team “talking too much”… I ignore his statement.

Early second half still a back & forth 1-3 point game, player from Team B picks up his 4th on an illegal hands foul & shows resentment towards my female partners call (who happens to be a really good HS official but never worked there before) then he proceeds to drop the F bomb.
Needless to say I stick him, #5 & he’s done. “I need a sub guys…”

Time out around the 12 minute mark, the same player from Team A now frustrated, directly asks me “why they are allowed to talk so much”?

After 28 minutes elapsed in the game I’m starting to understand what his definition of “talking” is.
Ie: after crisp moves in post for a score “that’s all day” or “he’s can’t guard you” could be heard coming from players, the bench & fans alike.
After great hustle plays & defensive stops “that’s what I’m talking about” or “time to step it up” was also being said.

So seeing where this is going & not wanting to go to the -act like you own a pair- card, I responded with “I just Td them up for talking, what more do you want me to do”?

He obviously didn’t know how to respond to my response, looked befuddled & walked away.

Team B went on to win by 1 point with Team A missing a last second heave from just beyond the 3 point arc in front of their bench.

Here comes Crybaby Sally again “I was just saying why should we go out of our way to behave & they don’t have too”?

I said when they misbehaved they were punished with the technical foul & you were awarded 2 shots & the ball.

Crybaby Sally: Well, they talk the whole game & you didn’t stop them, we are already intimidated by them. We can never beat them because they always talk & you need to do your job & take care of that!!!!!

After hearing the TRUTH come out of his own mouth: “we are already intimidated by them” plus the other -we lost & I have to blame somebody- routine, my only response is “OK ok, that’ll be enough…”

Crybaby Sally: You’re horrible & you wont be getting paid anymore because we aren’t coming to this league again… you suck yada yada yada & stomped out of the gym like my 10 year old daughter.



I know 90% of you all wouldn’t work this level of play, but for my own future reference what would be a better way to handle players who don’t like their opponents “talking”???

[rainmaker]

Nothing you can say. That kind of talking isn't illegal, and it shouldn't be. He's just being a crybaby as you noticed. If they tell the league they're not coming back because of that kind of talk, they'll get laughed off the planet, so they're gonna blame you? I wouldn't sweat it.

[Mark Padgett]

Two suggestions:

"New rule this year. You can wear earplugs."

"Why don't you go cry to your mommy?"

[Old School]

To me, I like working competitive games like this, especially the men because they are the best, plus, it's alma-no on alma-no. I mean, I don't have to hold back with my officiating technique. I think you needed to try and close that argument. Talking is okay as long as they are not out of line. Taunting will not be tolerated. When the player said he was intimated by them, that was your clue to relax and try to have a conversation and not a talk down. I would have said i think you guys can beat them on any given day but you can't let the talking get to you because that's what they are trying to do. You should go to a pro-game sometime and sit close. You will hear more sh!t talking then you ever imagine. Michael Jordan, biggest sh!t talker in the league.

Now I indicated that I like to work games like this. So I have a vested interested to want to keep good men's teams playing in the league. I would not have let the conversation degrade to him telling me I'm not any good. If that type of talk is coming at me, then we going there right away. It's not going to degrade to that over the discussion unless I leave that door open. Sometimes we have to be diplomats. Working men's is stressful, which is why I don't hold back on them. I have to bring my kick-azz attitude to the game because A.) I have to protect myself and B.) I have to protect the good players. If I don't, I will lose the players and if you lose the players, you lose control of the game. Not a good situation to be in, in a men's game.

Just my opinion

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Two suggestions:

"New rule this year. You can wear earplugs."

"Why don't you go cry to your mommy?"

1sr one (non-verbal) is good, second one (very vocal) is even better.

[JRutledge]

Oh brother.



Peace

[tlieb]

Lets be honest with ourselves here Men's Ball, unless it's high level players that are Ex. NCAA or NBA players, is really just "B!itch Ball". Personally I think there is learning experiences you can take away from any game situation and any level of game. Men's league, I think everyone who has worked it would agree, is all about game management. In high school or college we work with the coaches if we have player problems and we talk with the captains. In Men's league there isn't the luxury of going to a coach to say, "you need to take care of him." It's our responsibility to take care of things now. All we have is the players and us. Men's league is also about comfort level. Once the players have seen you for a while they understand what you're going to call and what you're going to let go. If you watch an NBA game you'll see the referees having to talk to SOMEONE after every single call or no call. The people watching those games are the guys playing in the Men's League games we officiate. Weather we like it or not we have to deal with the wining and find someway to appease both sides.

Originally Posted by tlieb

If you watch an NBA game you'll see the referees having to talk to SOMEONE after every single call or no call. The people watching those games are the guys playing in the Men's League games we officiate.

And somehow that leads wreck "players" to believe they can do the same things NBA players can do?

Thats funny because I use the referrence "just like on tv guys" whenever they do something stupid, like lining up incorrectly on FTs, requesting a time out & expecting a halfcourt throw-in after a violation, etc.

[Adam]

In NFHS ball, you might be able to make a case for taunting. But even that's hard when they're talking to each other. In a men's league?

Tell him to ask his wife for his sack before he leaves the house next time.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by Old School

To me, I like working competitive games like this, especially the men because they are the best, plus, it's alma-no on alma-no. I mean, I don't have to hold back with my officiating technique. I think you needed to try and close that argument. Talking is okay as long as they are not out of line. Taunting will not be tolerated. When the player said he was intimated by them, that was your clue to relax and try to have a conversation and not a talk down. I would have said i think you guys can beat them on any given day but you can't let the talking get to you because that's what they are trying to do. You should go to a pro-game sometime and sit close. You will hear more sh!t talking then you ever imagine. Michael Jordan, biggest sh!t talker in the league.

Now I indicated that I like to work games like this. So I have a vested interested to want to keep good men's teams playing in the league. I would not have let the conversation degrade to him telling me I'm not any good. If that type of talk is coming at me, then we going there right away. It's not going to degrade to that over the discussion unless I leave that door open. Sometimes we have to be diplomats. Working men's is stressful, which is why I don't hold back on them. I have to bring my kick-azz attitude to the game because A.) I have to protect myself and B.) I have to protect the good players. If I don't, I will lose the players and if you lose the players, you lose control of the game. Not a good situation to be in, in a men's game.

Just my opinion

ROFLMFAO!!!

MTD, Sr.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

ROFLMFAO!!!

MTD, Sr.

I LMFAO so many times reading his crap I don't have any A left!

BTW - around here, we call Men's leagues - Jerkball. I have to admit, though, I get a kick from doing one league. Early each fall, the first league to play is a league made up of CPAs. No - I'm not kidding. They have glasses taped on with duct tape and their jerseys have pocket protectors. OK, I'm only slightly kidding. They're really not very accomplished players but their score books are incredible. They keep every stat including offensive boards and they use ink. I think it's a status thing with them trying to outdo the other team's scorekeeper.

[blindzebra]

How about asking just what is being said when they are talking, when you haven't heard anything?

At least that way you can laugh at him early on and not just after the game is over.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Old School

1) To me, I like working competitive games like this, especially the men because they are the best, plus, it's alma-no on alma-no.

2) I have to bring my kick-azz attitude to the game because A.) I have to protect myself and B.) I have to protect the good players.

1) WTF is "alma-no on alma-no"?

2) You protect the good players? Over the bad players? Or the average players too? Interesting concept. Didn't happen to get it from the NBA by chance, did you? Btw, I wouldn't try that outside your rec leagues, if you ever do get a chance to work a real, live game that means something. The idea of favoring any player doesn't really fly.

[Jimgolf]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

1) WTF is "alma-no on alma-no"?

OS for "mano a mano".

I was more stunned by the line, "I mean, I don't have to hold back with my officiating technique."

[Old School]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

1) WTF is "alma-no on alma-no"?

2) You protect the good players? Over the bad players? Or the average players too? Interesting concept. Didn't happen to get it from the NBA by chance, did you? Btw, I wouldn't try that outside your rec leagues, if you ever do get a chance to work a real, live game that means something. The idea of favoring any player doesn't really fly.

That's not what I meant!