funny stuff

[Mark Padgett]

I've posted previously what I hoped was considered "funny stuff" but these two are in my favorites folder:

1) A sub was coming on the court at a dead ball and he asked the kid he was replacing "Who are you guarding?" This is a pretty common thing. The other kid replied (seriously - not as a joke) "Well...we're playing zone, so I guess - everybody."

2) In a recent HS rec game, a kid mistakenly scored into his own basket following an inbound play at that end. I heard the coach of the other team say to his assistant, "We ought to call that play more often."

Try the veal. I'm here all week.

[JugglingReferee]

Had a post player (6'6", 230#, had a look at the NBA) do a spin move on a guy, but his steps were done oddly. I called him for a travel.

He complained at me that I couldn't call the travel because I didn't see anything because his feet were moving too fast for my eyes.

I told him while he was correct, I know it's a travel becuase I also use that move when I play. His sense of humour caught the joke. (I'm nowhere near a post player build.)

[Mark Padgett]

Oh yeah - almost forgot my favorite one. A few years ago, I was working a holiday tournament called The End Of The Oregon Trail Tournament. This is a high profile tourney conducted every year at Oregon City HS. This school consistently is rated in the top girls programs nationally.

Anyway, I was observing warmups prior to my game between a local team and one from the Bay area of California. I noticed the center for the Bay area team was wearing her watch during warmups. I went over and asked her to remove it. She apologized and handed it to her dad, who was sitting a few rows up in the stands.

The game started and in the first quarter, my partner and I called her for three second violations about four times. After the fourth, her dad yelled, "Let her put her watch back on."

We were all laughing so hard, I had to take an official's time out.

[Corndog89]

A few years ago I was doing a boys freshman game; one of my partners had forgotten his shoes so he had to call in the white hi-tops sneaks he had worn to the gym. Four of us had driven together about 120 miles one-way to call the Frosh/JV/Varsity games, so we ran 3-man for all of them. "Billy White-Shoes" was a new official and he was struggling. When he made what was at least his 3rd or 4th questionable/bad call of the 1st half I happened to be at C standing right next to the offended head coach who voiced his frustration. Doing my best Mars Blackman I deadpanned, "Gotta be the shoes, Coach, gotta be the shoes". The coach laughed and never said another word.

[M&M Guy]

I may have told this already, but this happened at a camp last season.

Girl's team camp; early Sunday morning game right after breakfast. My partner calls a shooting foul at L, goes past me to report, so I go down to administer FT's. I get to the lane, and notice a couple of the girls have strange looks on their faces; one of them is even holding her jersey over her nose. I get closer and notice why - someone had really "let one go". It was so bad I couldn't tell if my eyes were watering or if there was an actual cloud in the air. I step into the lane to administer, and ask, "Ladies, did something just die out here?" A couple of them burst out laughing, one of them was waving her arms trying dissipate the smell, and we had to hold up a moment to gather ourselves.

Later in the game, my partner comes up to me and says, "You know, I really shouldn't eat eggs and sausage together - it really gives me gas." It turns out he was the one that let it go just as he blew the whistle for the foul, and was able to immediately leave the scene of the crime. Geeze, talk about "hit and run"...

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by M&M Guy

It turns out he was the one that let it go just as he blew the whistle for the foul

What was he using - a Fox Farty?

[The Canuck]

Working a senior girls game once. I make a traveling call, and both the dribbler and defender look at me as if I've got an arm growing out of my nose. The dribbler throws me the ball and stomps off, muttering to herself. The defender, however, looks me in the eye and barks something at me, which I did not catch because of the acoustics and noise. I say, as loud as I can, "what did you say, black?" She ignores me.

She inbounds the ball and gets it back, then dribbles over to me and whispers, "Your fly's down."

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

What was he using - a Fox Farty?

That one just blows, Mark.