funny stuff
 

Yesterday I'm working a 2 person boys game which is supposed to be V but it's pretty sloppy. Late in the 2nd half, I'm trail in transition and white's pg spots my partner wide open as he's turning the corner and whips a bullet pass to him. Partner goes ninja trying to dodge the ball, spins around, and slides on his rear. Keeping his composure the whole time, he blows his whistle and signals the other way.

The few fans who were there, players and coaches all had a good laugh. He gathers himself and is about to put the ball in play and I blow my whistle to hold him up. I'm still laughing so hard, I gotta take a knee. Afterwards, I told him "that was fun".

I know there's more funny stories out there, so why not share em?

I've posted previously what I hoped was considered "funny stuff" but these two are in my favorites folder:

1) A sub was coming on the court at a dead ball and he asked the kid he was replacing "Who are you guarding?" This is a pretty common thing. The other kid replied (seriously - not as a joke) "Well...we're playing zone, so I guess - everybody."

2) In a recent HS rec game, a kid mistakenly scored into his own basket following an inbound play at that end. I heard the coach of the other team say to his assistant, "We ought to call that play more often."

Try the veal. I'm here all week. ;)

Had a post player (6'6", 230#, had a look at the NBA) do a spin move on a guy, but his steps were done oddly. I called him for a travel.

He complained at me that I couldn't call the travel because I didn't see anything because his feet were moving too fast for my eyes. :D

I told him while he was correct, I know it's a travel becuase I also use that move when I play. :D His sense of humour caught the joke. (I'm nowhere near a post player build.)

Oh yeah - almost forgot my favorite one. A few years ago, I was working a holiday tournament called The End Of The Oregon Trail Tournament. This is a high profile tourney conducted every year at Oregon City HS. This school consistently is rated in the top girls programs nationally.

Anyway, I was observing warmups prior to my game between a local team and one from the Bay area of California. I noticed the center for the Bay area team was wearing her watch during warmups. I went over and asked her to remove it. She apologized and handed it to her dad, who was sitting a few rows up in the stands.

The game started and in the first quarter, my partner and I called her for three second violations about four times. After the fourth, her dad yelled, "Let her put her watch back on." :D

We were all laughing so hard, I had to take an official's time out.

A few years ago I was doing a boys freshman game; one of my partners had forgotten his shoes so he had to call in the white hi-tops sneaks he had worn to the gym. Four of us had driven together about 120 miles one-way to call the Frosh/JV/Varsity games, so we ran 3-man for all of them. "Billy White-Shoes" was a new official and he was struggling. When he made what was at least his 3rd or 4th questionable/bad call of the 1st half I happened to be at C standing right next to the offended head coach who voiced his frustration. Doing my best Mars Blackman I deadpanned, "Gotta be the shoes, Coach, gotta be the shoes". The coach laughed and never said another word.

I may have told this already, but this happened at a camp last season.

Girl's team camp; early Sunday morning game right after breakfast. My partner calls a shooting foul at L, goes past me to report, so I go down to administer FT's. I get to the lane, and notice a couple of the girls have strange looks on their faces; one of them is even holding her jersey over her nose. I get closer and notice why - someone had really "let one go". It was so bad I couldn't tell if my eyes were watering or if there was an actual cloud in the air. I step into the lane to administer, and ask, "Ladies, did something just die out here?" A couple of them burst out laughing, one of them was waving her arms trying dissipate the smell, and we had to hold up a moment to gather ourselves.

Later in the game, my partner comes up to me and says, "You know, I really shouldn't eat eggs and sausage together - it really gives me gas." It turns out he was the one that let it go just as he blew the whistle for the foul, and was able to immediately leave the scene of the crime. Geeze, talk about "hit and run"...

What was he using - a Fox Farty? :p

Working a senior girls game once. I make a traveling call, and both the dribbler and defender look at me as if I've got an arm growing out of my nose. The dribbler throws me the ball and stomps off, muttering to herself. The defender, however, looks me in the eye and barks something at me, which I did not catch because of the acoustics and noise. I say, as loud as I can, "what did you say, black?" She ignores me.

She inbounds the ball and gets it back, then dribbles over to me and whispers, "Your fly's down."

That one just blows, Mark. :p

Looks like the arm wasn't coming out of your nose.

Maybe it was just a pinkie finger. ;) And no "speak for yourself" comments, please.

What could he be talking about?
 

Here is one of my favorites.
Had a girls U14 AAU game a few years ago. One team gets up about 35 points at the half and the other team was 0 for quite a while and only has 6 or 7 points.
We start the second half and have a foul about 30 seconds in. The "get a life" coach of the team thats up 35 calls time out. I go over to my partner and ask "what do you suppose he is talking about that he didn't already say during the other two (yes he called two other time outs in the first half) time outs or halftime.
The girls come back out after the time out to shoot the free throws and one of his girls stands next to me as the trail. I ask her, "hey number 14, what did coach say during the time out?" She replies, "Ah, Oh I don't really know, I wasn't really listening."
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, BOYS.

I was at a game to do a mentor evaluation last season. I was watching from courtside when a girl playing in the post about 6'02" gets a two hander right in the chest that knocked her to the floor. No call by the lead on the play. She lets out a F-Bomb as she hits the floor and promptly got T'd by this same kid. As she gets up and is dusting herself off I heard her say to a teammate that she thought the "B!TCH" would have bought her a meal before she felt her up. Made me laugh out loud and I couldn't even keep a straight face after teh game when we did our game review because I was just thinking about her comment. Thing is she didn't really seem upset at anyone just reacted.

From the other side of the table
 

About 5 or 6 seasons ago, our CYO boys game had no refs show up. Under league rules, the coaches can agree to have non-refs ref the game (but in doing so agree that the final result stands). I was nominated to be one of the referees since people see me as knowing more about the rules than anyone else.

Our league has a rule that on the 6th grade level, a team that is up by 10 or more points can no longer full court press or trap outside the three point line. And this opponent was so good that it was obvious that the 10 point lead was going to come quickly.

So once the 10 point lead comes, we have one of the visiting players pressing in the backcourt, so I whitle and signal/call out "Illegal defense warning on red." As I was administering the ensuing throw-in, I heard a fan say "What is this, the NBA?" :D

I thought it was funny!!!
 

Boys 8th grade game. I was pretty new to officiating and my partner told me to toss the ball and he would take the U. I blew my whistle, stepped in the circle, threw the ball nice and straight, and the ball was tipped right back to me. No one made any move to go to the ball so I caught it and made an outlet pass to my partner who drove to the hoop for a layup. The whole gym gave a roar. I told my partner to make sure the scorer gave me the assist in the book. Probably seemed more funny at the time it happened than now. :rolleyes: