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Wed Feb 21, 2007, 08:59pm
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How many coaches does it take.......
.......to change a light bulb?
Two - one to REACH for the bulb and the other to go OVER HIS BACK to screw it in. OK, I'll take my meds now.
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Yom HaShoah 
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Wed Feb 21, 2007, 09:14pm
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Trick question. They wouldn't do it. Don't they prefer to be "in the dark".
Mregor
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Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
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Wed Feb 21, 2007, 09:15pm
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Oh geeze, now you've done it
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it. Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None 'o yo' ****in' business! Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb? A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! A4. Rottweiler: Make me. A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb? A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ... A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little cluster... A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. A16. I'm too busy licking myself to bother The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
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9-11-01 http://www.fallenheroesfund.org/fallenheroes/index.php http://www.carydufour.com/marinemoms...llowribbon.jpg
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Wed Feb 21, 2007, 10:11pm
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Can't they see things better from where they stand anyway? And couldn't they just have the assistant coaches change the light bulb?
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Never hit a piņata if you see hornets flying out of it.
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Thu Feb 22, 2007, 05:34am
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None.
They will stand there complaining that the light bulb isn't really burn out. "Come on now, there's nothing wrong with that light, you must be seeing things. I can't believe it! I just can't believe it! These guys are terrible. Three seconds, Three seconds. Can I get a call here? That wasn't a foul. If you hadn't been worrying about that light bulb, you would have seen that travel. Why don't you call it both ways? How can you see that light out from way across the court? Time out! Time out! Time out! Come on, somebody's going to get hurt out there.................."
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Thu Feb 22, 2007, 07:17am
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Quote:
__________________
Never hit a piņata if you see hornets flying out of it.
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Thu Feb 22, 2007, 07:25am
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Quote:
As a great philosopher from NY once said "Go with the flow.
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Thu Feb 22, 2007, 08:01am
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How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. He holds it still while the world revolves around him (or her). How many psychiatrists does it take to change the lightbulb? One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
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I only wanna know ...
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Thu Feb 22, 2007, 09:48am
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Quote:
__________________
M&M's - The Official Candy of the Department of Redundancy Department. (Used with permission.)
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