Help with: "Hey! I'm A Mentor!"

[PAT THE REF]

Hello everyone,

For the past two weeks I have been having problems with a particular school I am officiating for. Surprisingly it is not with the coaches or players yet… it is with a particular partner. I have officiated baseball for this particular AD secretary and she gave me my shot at some basketball this year. She gave me about 20 games – Varsity scrimmages, JV and freshman ball – in which I am happy with.

The problem is my partner happens to be a gentleman in his 50’s who happens to be a “mentor” for his IABBO board. Currently I am not IABBO in NJ. I unfortunately became varsity certified with another non IABBO board. During timeouts/halftime/between quarters he wants me to meet with him.

My problem is:
He has been working for this secretary for multiple years for basketball. He keeps telling me he is getting out of basketball soon but I don’t see that happening. I started to take his “constructive criticism” in that light. It is usually more “destructive criticism”. “You shouldn’t have made that call” “That was in my area” “Bounce the ball at all times – so you can get into position – I know what big time assigners are looking for” etc…

I personally don’t think I am a bad official, I know I am not D-I level, but I can definitely hold my own in a JV game. I can hold my own during varsity contests as well. I just feel somewhat insecure when doing games with him. When he is table side trail, coaches talk to him and then yell at me in transition… I gave that coach a technical and then he proceeded to go chat with the coach… Not to seatbelt him (I had to do that) but to say he had a valid point…

I know the infamous saying – Get In, Get Done, Get Out!!! But I have to see this guy a lot and I just don’t know. The last game we did the secretary moved me from a JV to a MS game with the same partner. He was scheduled there and she needed to move an official around. Same old hat – meet between quarters. I tried not to go to him but he would move to me. That began my thinking of maybe he does this to everyone and I haven’t complained so I must be able to “take it”.

I have only had another IABBO guy work with me on a JV Girls game while my usual partner was on a MS boy’s game… He came up to the gym to watch a little… Kind of makes you think… I just don’t want to ruffle feathers with the secretary or other officials.

I just want to know anyone’s opinion. Whether constructive or destructive – let me hear it…

[Scrapper1]

Pat, here are a few thoughts. I won't be offended if you think they're completely off-base, but for what it's worth. . .

1) Wearing an IAABO patch doesn't make a bad ref into a good one. IAABO is a training organization and that's it. They do a lot of good things, in my opinion, but they don't work miracles. Having said that, this guy has been working for that assignor for several years, so he's probably doing something right, at least in that assignor's eyes. It might be worth your while to consider that maybe he does know what the assignor wants and take some of those tips for your own game.

2) The comments that you list don't sound particularly "destructive" to me (although there has to be a better way of saying, "you shouldn't have made that call"). His comments may be well-intentioned (and good advice), but just offered in a clumsy way. Maybe not. Maybe when you hear him in person, he's just a jerk. But I would urge you to listen to the message and not the delivery. Take what works for you and ignore the rest.

3) I think you are right to be worried about "ruffling feathers". Even if he's a complete a-hole, you don't want to go around making that information public. It can come back to haunt you. If you come to the conclusion that he's an idiot and you're just going to ignore everything he says, fine; but don't talk about that decision with other refs. Just work your game and ignore his tips.

Good luck.

[Jurassic Referee]

What Scrappy said.

Whether the old ref is an IAABO member or not is completely irrelevant, unless there's some politics involved that we're not aware of.

[M&M Guy]

Scrappy, you are truly wise beyond your years. It's too bad you're a Yankee fan. I could've swore you were a Cubs fan.

One of the toughest things I had to face as I was moving up was criticism. I mean, after all, I'm getting better games, why should I have to listen to someone telling me what I'm doing wrong? They're probably criticizing me because they don't want me to take away their games, right? Well, as I've progressed, I've started to impart some of my limited wisdom on younger refs, and I've encountered a little of the same "resistance". But, in my case, I'm not worried about them taking my games, I'm more worried about making them a little better in the game we're working now. Since I can see it from their point of view, I try to temper the message a little, so it doesn't come across as straight criticism.

Does that mean this guy wasn't a jerk? Don't know, because I wasn't there. But if he's going through the effort of giving you advice, maybe there's something there to take? You don't have to listen to everything, but I would bet he gave you something good to use.

[PAT THE REF]

Thanks everyone... I try to take and use his information to my use... Most of it is very practical... I just dont like being approached every quarter and in that particular manner. It is hard to write about it on paper.

Pat

[Junker]

As you keep working, you'll be evaluated in a number of different styles. This particular person seems to dwell on the negative. I remember a 3 person clinic I was working a few years ago. At one end was an assignor I don't work for ripping me a new one about all the contact I was letting go away from the ball, which to me was stuff we let go all season. At the other end was an evaluator from my area that had seen me before. He's over there telling me I look great and just keep doing what I'm doing. There isn't really one correct way to officiate. There are many things we all need to do on a consistent basis, but parts of the game are going to be different for each official because of their experience and personality. Take any information you get and use it to make yourself better. One thing that has helped me over the years is when an evaluator gives you a bit of information, put it into your game right away. When you're getting feedback every quarter, make sure you do exactly what they asked you to as soon as you see a similar play in the next quarter. This shows that you're willing to listen and learn.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Junker

I remember a 3 person clinic I was working a few years ago. At one end was an assignor I don't work for ripping me a new one about all the contact I was letting go away from the ball, which to me was stuff we let go all season. At the other end was an evaluator from my area that had seen me before. He's over there telling me I look great and just keep doing what I'm doing.

Gee, there's a tough choice.

Nod your head "yes" to both of them. Listen to the one that gives you games.

Which is what you did, I'll bet......

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by M&M Guy

Scrappy, you are truly wise beyond your years. It's too bad you're a Yankee fan. I could've swore you were a Cubs fan.

Scrapper flunked the entrance exam to become a Cubbies' fan. He passed an IQ test. The IQ test was to spell "IQ".

[Junker]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Gee, there's a tough choice.

Nod your head "yes" to both of them. Listen to the one that gives you games.

Which is what you did, I'll bet......

That's exactly what I did.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by PAT THE REF

I just feel somewhat insecure when doing games with him. When he is table side trail, coaches talk to him and then yell at me in transition… I gave that coach a technical and then he proceeded to go chat with the coach… Not to seatbelt him (I had to do that) but to say he had a valid point…

This paragraph says all I need to know about this guy. He may be a good official with decent judgment and a great feel for the game; but he's a lousy partner.

So, while you might want to watch how he calls a game, you definitely want to take notes on how his behavior as a partner affects you.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Gee, there's a tough choice.

Nod your head "yes" to both of them. Listen to the one that gives you games.

Which is what you did, I'll bet......

I was talking in pregame with a newer partner last week (first year guy) about all the advice he's been getting from vets so far. I told him, "If the guy tells you to pi$$ on the half court line, just nod your head like you understand and ignore it later."

[Junker]

My mentor moved to Colorado where he now instructs new officials to p#ss on the floor.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Junker

My mentor moved to Colorado where he now instructs new officials to p#ss on the floor.

Only when game management puts in the janitor's closet to change.

[Back In The Saddle]

Originally Posted by Junker

My mentor moved to Colorado where he now instructs new officials to p#ss on the floor.

That would explain why the CO team I had recently came out for the jump wearing rubber boots.

[JRutledge]

When someone gives you advice you have to take it for what it is worth. You either accept the advice or you do not accept the advice. You can always pick out what you like and throw away what you do not. I would not agonize over much else with this guy. Anytime I work with a partner or partners I always ask myself, “Why this person is here with me?” If I am working a lower level game it might be because they are not that good. If I am working a varsity game it could be because they are a long time veteran and have earned that spot over the years. It could be that the assignor likes them and keeps giving him/her games. Whatever the reason they are with you, in the back of your mind you should think to yourself and learn from the experience, even if it is with someone you do not like or respect. You will be better for the experience.

Peace