Help with: "Hey! I'm A Mentor!"

[PAT THE REF]

Hello everyone,

For the past two weeks I have been having problems with a particular school I am officiating for. Surprisingly it is not with the coaches or players yet… it is with a particular partner. I have officiated baseball for this particular AD secretary and she gave me my shot at some basketball this year. She gave me about 20 games – Varsity scrimmages, JV and freshman ball – in which I am happy with.

The problem is my partner happens to be a gentleman in his 50’s who happens to be a “mentor” for his IABBO board. Currently I am not IABBO in NJ. I unfortunately became varsity certified with another non IABBO board. During timeouts/halftime/between quarters he wants me to meet with him.

My problem is:
He has been working for this secretary for multiple years for basketball. He keeps telling me he is getting out of basketball soon but I don’t see that happening. I started to take his “constructive criticism” in that light. It is usually more “destructive criticism”. “You shouldn’t have made that call” “That was in my area” “Bounce the ball at all times – so you can get into position – I know what big time assigners are looking for” etc…

I personally don’t think I am a bad official, I know I am not D-I level, but I can definitely hold my own in a JV game. I can hold my own during varsity contests as well. I just feel somewhat insecure when doing games with him. When he is table side trail, coaches talk to him and then yell at me in transition… I gave that coach a technical and then he proceeded to go chat with the coach… Not to seatbelt him (I had to do that) but to say he had a valid point…

I know the infamous saying – Get In, Get Done, Get Out!!! But I have to see this guy a lot and I just don’t know. The last game we did the secretary moved me from a JV to a MS game with the same partner. He was scheduled there and she needed to move an official around. Same old hat – meet between quarters. I tried not to go to him but he would move to me. That began my thinking of maybe he does this to everyone and I haven’t complained so I must be able to “take it”.

I have only had another IABBO guy work with me on a JV Girls game while my usual partner was on a MS boy’s game… He came up to the gym to watch a little… Kind of makes you think… I just don’t want to ruffle feathers with the secretary or other officials.

I just want to know anyone’s opinion. Whether constructive or destructive – let me hear it…