Dorky coach

[rainmaker]

Coach last night, complaining about everything. Well, that's nothing new. It was mostly just grumbling, so we ignored it. First half, one exchange involved contact. "There was a lot of contact on that shot.." "Yes, there was." "So why didn't you call it?" "Call what?" (Defender went absolutely straight up, contact was incidental, although it was pretty much full body) "It's a foul!! There're not allowed to have any contact on a shot." "It's incidental contact, coach, it's legal." I left.

Second half. Defender reached across the player with the ball, tipped it away. "That's a reach! That's a reach!" I ignored him. "Ref, you have to call that." "Call what coach?" "THat reach. It's illegal." "No, it's not illegal." "Yes it is, it's a reach." "Show it to me in the rulebook, and I"ll start calling it." "You know the rulebook better than I do, you show me!" I thought that was one of the stupider things that I've heard a coach say.

Later, one of his players fouled out. As soon as the whistle blew, he had the sub at the table. P had made the call, he's reporting, and signals the sub in. Coach says he gets 30 seconds. P backs away. I hopped in and said, "Partner, once the sub is at the table, he doesn't get 30 seconds." Partner looks confused. I stepped into the huddle. "Coach once the sub has reported the game continues. No 30 seconds." "She's not at the table." "She was. She was standing right there." Now he gets snippy. "My goodness you certainly have sharp eyes. You saw that didn't you? You must be proud. And you have seen all the untucked shirts. You have very good eyes." I didn't say anhyting and got the game going. Of course, him losing the game was totally our fault.