Do the game or not?

[chrs_schuster]

One of my first games this year is a boys freshman game. The problem is my son is going to be on the team. He does not live with me and I'm having trouble deciding on whether to do the game or email my assignor and bail. What do you guys think?

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by chrs_schuster

One of my first games this year is a boys freshman game. The problem is my son is going to be on the team. He does not live with me and I'm having trouble deciding on whether to do the game or email my assignor and bail. What do you guys think?

Don't do the game.

Tell your assignor your son is on the team and you don't want to take the game. He'll appreciate it.

[refnrev]

If you can have someone else do the game, it's better. I've had to do HS V soccer games when my son is playing because of being in areas where there were real shortages of refs and no one else was available. I've also done soccer games when my partners were fathers of members of the opposing team. If they can't play the game because they can't get someone else, I wouldn't let them lose the game. But having done it... be fully aware that it is awkward at best and it's not nearly as enjoyable as being able to watch and cheer for your kid's team. You have to totally change gears menatlly and work hard to keep your referee hat on and the father/fan hat off. And always know that no matter how well you do, and how fair you call it, someone always has doubts about your impartiality and your integrity.

[Jurassic Referee]

No-brainer. Bail.

You're in a no-win situation if you do that game.

[Mwanr1]

Don't put yourself in that position - there are plenty of other games for you to do. No one might know now, but someone, somewhere down the line will find out.

[mick]

Watch the kid play, from the stands.

[chrs_schuster]

thanks for the info! I will call assignor tomorrow and reassign.

[Bad Zebra]

Let me be the voice of experience...I did this once when my son was a 10 yr. old playing Rec ball. HUGE Mistake. To show the coaches I was unbiased, I was very tough on my son, who was one of the better players on the team. He sensed it...held back...and they lost the game. My wife in the stands sensed what I was doing too and I got an earful on the car ride home. Not to mention the grumbling she heard from other parents. Nobody won in that sitch. I haven't done it since...and our local assn. forces us to scratch teams where we have a child attending a school...even if they don't play a team sort.

[mick]

Originally Posted by Bad Zebra

Let me be the voice of experience...I did this once when my son was a 10 yr. old playing Rec ball. HUGE Mistake. To show the coaches I was unbiased, I was very tough on my son, who was one of the better players on the team. He sensed it...held back...and they lost the game. My wife in the stands sensed what I was doing too and I got an earful on the car ride home. Not to mention the grumbling she heard from other parents. Nobody won in that sitch. I haven't done it since...and our local assn. forces us to scratch teams where we have a child attending a school...even if they don't play a team sort.

...So close to my son's JV game. So close !

[Larks]

No way. Send it back. Most of the assignors in my area will not let you ref teams if you teach there, coach there, work there or have kids actively attending.

Dont do it.

[BktBallRef]

Originally Posted by chrs_schuster

thanks for the info! I will call assignor tomorrow and reassign.

Wise decision.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Bad Zebra

and our local assn. forces us to scratch teams where we have a child attending a school...even if they don't play a team sort.

I wish our Assn did have that policy. However I took it upon myself to scratch myself from any boys' games involving my son's HS. He's a freshman and may not even make the team this year.

If my son were to be cut I don't want to give the coach a chance to say I'm trying to screw his team to get even.

[Bad Zebra]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

If my son were to be cut I don't want to give the coach a chance to say I'm trying to screw his team to get even.

...or worse...if he DOES make it, then you're there just to make calls in favor of his team...or you had an agreement with the coach..."My son makes it and I'll take care of the calls in your games". The kid will never have made it on his own merit in most onlookers minds.

I can't understand how any H.S level association would allow an official anywhere near a game involving their child.

[Ref_ Fred]

Chris, do yourself a favor and most importantly your son, bail out. My daughter played HSV, for 4 years, I told my assignor and he didn't assign me any games in the conference at all. I was happy with that. I actually was a fanboy .. LOL

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Bad Zebra

...or worse...if he DOES make it, then you're there just to make calls in favor of his team...or you had an agreement with the coach..."My son makes it and I'll take care of the calls in your games". The kid will never have made it on his own merit in most onlookers minds.

I can't understand how any H.S level association would allow an official anywhere near a game involving their child.

There have been multiple ocassions when ref's on my board have had to turn back games b/c their children were playing at the school.

I don't understand it either.