What should you do about bad parenting?

Dan_ref · #1 (**permalink**) Thu Aug 03, 2006, 07:09pm

Seriously Folks,

The parents where I live have gotten to the point where it's really, really bad. Is there anything an official can do about it or do we just have to learn to tolerate it?

I know parents are people too, and it's a tough job, and they aint getting paid. We officials are working for maybe $10, 20 or in some areas a whopping $30 to $40 per summer game. This past AAU season, it just seemed like the parenting was worse than ever. So far, summer league has been no better.

I'll never forget the game where the parents on the endlines screamed their fool heads off for fouls in the first half, then in the second half scream even louder when you call a foul. Is it too much to ask these parents to expect games be called fairly and not expect every single call to go their way?

One of my main pet peeves is the parent who screams at his teenaged kid that he wasn't being aggressive enough. "Knock him on his azz! Show him what you're made of!!" Then there's the parents that ridicule a teenager because he blew an easy layup, or missed everything on a free throw. I know they're only having fun, but, I mean, come on, try at least to have SOME perpective.

Maybe it's not as wide spread everywhere as it is in my area, but it sure is bad here. Is it because we're not adequately policing and evaluating parents?

What can officials do about it? What is the right approach?

KenThree · #2 (**permalink**) Thu Aug 03, 2006, 07:13pm

Thank you. Couldn't have said it better

JRutledge · #3 (**permalink**) Thu Aug 03, 2006, 10:12pm

This is one of the funniest posts I have seen in a long time.

I needed that laugh.

Peace

rainmaker · #4 (**permalink**) Thu Aug 03, 2006, 11:12pm

I agree that it's gotten worse in the last couple of years. Around here it seems like it is worse in some leagues than others, worse in some tournaments than others.

Could you start throwing some of them out? maybe at least move them off the endline, and up into the stands?

You might try talking to them ahead of time, or having coaches do it. In some of our summer leagues, they've started having the coaches do more to control the parents. It's helped quite a bit. But you've got to have game management on your side to pull it off.

Oh, wait, this wasn't a serious post? you were just jabbing at someone who complained about the reffing... okay so there's some egg on my face.

REFVA · #5 (**permalink**) Fri Aug 04, 2006, 06:50am

This is funny,

I have to tell a funny story that happened last night.

I did a championship AAU summer league game. On one side of the court I kept hearing 3 second, 3 seconds 3 seconds. I thought i was loosing my eyesight. Oddly enough at half time I had an opportunity to ask the parents who is yelling 3 seconds I shouldn't have asked but I needed to just to clear my head. A woman turns and said me. I explained what 3 seconds was. She replied thanks, and then she was honest to say. "this is the only call I know".

Which I tend to believe that 90% of the parents don't have a hell of beans knowledge of any rule of basketball.

tjones1 · #6 (**permalink**) Fri Aug 04, 2006, 07:20am

It's extremely bad and it isn't getting any better. It's sad, to say the least. As for summer ball goes, I just don't take it. For the most part in our area we are getting paid $15 per game if not nothing. So it doesn't take too much for me to show them the door.

This summer our association was working a small two-day camp. The officials weren't getting paid anything directly, however there was a small amount of money going to the association's funds. On a floor I wasn't working on, the parents got so bad that the officials just said they had enough and called it a night. Pretty funny.

I don't know, maybe in today's society it's "cool" to look like an idiot and be ejected from a sports contest.

garote · #7 (**permalink**) Fri Aug 04, 2006, 11:03am

I've actually thrown 4 fathers out of AAU games because of their behavior this year.

One of the gyms we have the games at, has 2 sets of bleachers and there is about a 20 foot gap between them for the table. For some unknown reason the top of the bleachers is the spot for these idiots. I'll invariably get 2 dad's shouting or better yet threatening each other across the gap. So I stop play chuck them and go merrily on my way with the game.

On one occasion I had a coach ask "aren't you afraid they'll go at it in the parking lot??"

Don't know why I just want to bust up laughing at that?

REFVA · #8 (**permalink**) Fri Aug 04, 2006, 11:30am

I guess I'm waiting for the day, which will probably never happen and I'll never know if it happens. that maybe one day the kids will shed some light on the parents when they see their father get thrown out and just simply say, " DAD you must be an "A$$, don't embarass me again"

LarryS · #9 (**permalink**) Fri Aug 04, 2006, 11:52am

Quote:

Originally Posted by REFVA

I guess I'm waiting for the day, which will probably never happen and I'll never know if it happens. that maybe one day the kids will shed some light on the parents when they see their father get thrown out and just simply say, " DAD you must be an "A$$, don't embarass me again"

I kinda had that happen a few years ago. I tossed a male (hesitate to call him an "afult" or a "dad" because of his conduct). When I started to administer the throw in the young boy standing there said "Thanks, my dad can be a big pain in the azz at times.". Only problem was that I was the only one that heard him make the comment.