Partner...

[kristal_15]

I reffed a game with a senior official not too long ago who really didn't impress me with his attitude...

Although I do understand I'm am only 16 and have been officiating for only 3 yrs now, he insisted on taking over the game, calling everything in my coverage area, sometimes totally ignoring the NFHS mechanics and making us both look unprofessional and well....dumb. He even made a comment to both coach explaining that I was a rookie and to take it "easy" on me. Now i know that i don't have very much experience, but I did pass the exam with a very good mark and I know I can definitley hold my own on the court. I also am more than willing to learn and be given pointers by my partner, in fact it is much appreciated. But how do I handle situations like this, do I approach my partner? Do I mention something or let it go?

Thank you

[Mark Padgett]

Let it go. Welcome to real life. If you think this is the first time you will be treated this way in not just officiating but in lots of situations until you are older, you have a few more thinks coming.

I'm not saying it's fair - just realistic. Learn from it and promise yourself that when you get older you will not simulate this behavior.

[blindzebra]

I'd say something along the lines of, "I know I'm young and have things to learn and get better at, but if you really want to help me get better, allow me to call my primary and please don't belittle me to the coaches."

If that does not work, make a few calls right in front of him and tell the coaches to take it easy on him because he's getting old and can't see like he used to.

[refnrev]

krystal,
I'd let it go. He probably thought he was helping you out. And if it padded his ego a little bit because of his seniority, so be it. Senior partners can open a lot of doors for you early on. Don't burn any bridges.

[gordon30307]

Originally posted by kristal_15
I reffed a game with a senior official not too long ago who really didn't impress me with his attitude...

Although I do understand I'm am only 16 and have been officiating for only 3 yrs now, he insisted on taking over the game, calling everything in my coverage area, sometimes totally ignoring the NFHS mechanics and making us both look unprofessional and well....dumb. He even made a comment to both coach explaining that I was a rookie and to take it "easy" on me. Now i know that i don't have very much experience, but I did pass the exam with a very good mark and I know I can definitley hold my own on the court. I also am more than willing to learn and be given pointers by my partner, in fact it is much appreciated. But how do I handle situations like this, do I approach my partner? Do I mention something or let it go?

Thank you

At half time I would have asked him to help you with high school mechanics by doing the remainder of the game using the proper mechanics. It was bad enough he was calling your primary but to tell both Coaches that you were a "rookie" was out of line. You learned an important lesson. When you become a veteran official I'm sure that you won't treat the rookies the way that you were treated.

Good luck and have a great season.

[williebfree]

I helped mentor a young official in our area several years ago. Frustratingly, she would share details about miserable experiences (like yours) with area officials. She worked hard and gained the experience needed to become a good official. I tactfully attempted to redress the other officials, but I was relatively new to the locality so my effectiveness in causing change was minimal.

My advice to you is ... be respectful toward your partner(s) and try (As difficult as it can be at times) to learn something from each opportunity you have to get on the court. Even bad experiences can be learning experiences.

I am assuming that you have already been given advice to continue to build your rules knowledge and find a local mentor who is readily available to be a sounding board and can help you “navigate” the local politics.

Try to have fun and best wishes.

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by kristal_15
I reffed a game with a senior official not too long ago who really didn't impress me with his attitude...

Although I do understand I'm am only 16 and have been officiating for only 3 yrs now, he insisted on taking over the game, calling everything in my coverage area, sometimes totally ignoring the NFHS mechanics and making us both look unprofessional and well....dumb. He even made a comment to both coach explaining that I was a rookie and to take it "easy" on me. Now i know that i don't have very much experience, but I did pass the exam with a very good mark and I know I can definitley hold my own on the court. I also am more than willing to learn and be given pointers by my partner, in fact it is much appreciated. But how do I handle situations like this, do I approach my partner? Do I mention something or let it go?

Thank you

If your user name is kristal because your real-life name is Kristal, I'm assuming you're female. This could also be why he was so patronizing. The best way to stop this kind of bad treatment is to nip it in the bud early by being very professional, self-assured and intense. You call the person ahead of time, and say, "I hope you'll be there 15 minutes early because I'd like to have a good pre-game so we can call the game as a good team." Then when you are first within six feet of him you put your right hand out confidently, shake his hand, look into his eyes with a friendly and assertive smile and say, "Hi! I'm Kristal, you must be Morton. Shall we have our pre-game over here?" Walk nicely with him to the place you've already chosen, and say, "How was the traffic from your end of town -- it took me twice as long to get here as it did last Saturday." All of these actions are designed to let him know that you and he are equal -- neither one is higher or lower than the other. You're glad to be working with him, and you intend to be colleagues.

If he stutters or hesitates to take over the pre-game (which he probably will), you say, "Okay, here's what I'm working on..." and then describe a specific type of play where you're trying to remember to step to the outside for the best angle, or something equally in keeping with several years experience. Ask him to give you a count, or something to remind you, if he sees you in that situation. Then ask, "What can I help you with?" Listen seriously, make a suggestion if you can do so informedly or say, "Hmm, I'll watch for that." Then ask, "Is there anything else we ought to talk about?" Let him go from there, if he will, or say, "How do you prefer to handle a last-second shot?" or "How shall we resolve a double whistle?" If necessary, practice ahead of time saying these things in a very friendly, open manner with an air of two people working together on a project -- which is precisely what you are.

If you hear him telling a coach that "she's a rookie, so go light on her" you could even jump in and say, "Hi, I'm Kristal, did he tell you to go light on me? Ha, ha he's such a kidder. What I really need is practice tossing coaches, so you can be as rough as you want!" Well, I'm not sure I'd use those words exactly, but you want to project confidence and pleasure to the coach -- "I'm glad to be here". "I'm a ref, and I know how to be in charge." You are not only trying to convince your partner, you've got to convince the coaches as early as possible that a 16-year-old girl can handle them.

You have to keep up this kind of confident self-assuredness. If he corrects something you did, say, "Okay, I'll study that when I get home." If he's taking calls out of your area, you say, "What am I missing in my primary?" If he overrules you, step to him firmly right then and there and say, "I'll change my call myself if you'll tell me what I missed" and then change it no matter how wrong he is. If he does it again, say quietly, "Are we supposed to be overruling each other? I thought that was not acceptable." If he's wrong about an overrule, at half-time say, "Here's my rule book, show me the reference on that play."

If none of this wins him over, you should tell your assignor that you never want to work with this guy again. He insulted and debased you to the coaches, and that is inexcusable.

Also, where do you live? There may be someone on this baord who lives near you and could give you some good political information.

[JRutledge]

Juulie,

I think you hit the nail on the head. I seriously he would have done that to an older male.

Peace

[IowaMike]

Some senior officials will do that to an "older" male as I have experienced it. I am in my 4th season and am 42 and have been treated like the village idiot by a few guys who let me know that they are really doing the assignor and me a big favor by "slumming" and working a sophomore game. I just smile and let them talk about themselves and their big time college schedule. I don't feel inferior, I am starting to get a few varsity games myself and though I know I can get better, I also know that I am a good official to work with. There are just some really arrogant people out there, not just in officiating but in all walks of life. At least in officiating you only have to deal with them for about an hour and a half, get what you can out of the game and move on. I have worked with arrogant jerks that I couldn't stand in pregame, but did learn something from during the game. I think that Rainmaker made a good point that you need to be confident and assured when meeting and pregaming with your partner. Even if they are a much more experienced official, make it clear that although you respect that experience, you believe that you can hold your own on the floor with them.

[JRutledge]

Let me rephrase what I said. I am not suggesting that anyone will not be treated badly in officiating. I am suggesting that he treated this official as if she was unable to handle herself on the court. He probably would not have done that with anyone else, or at least to that degree. You might be older but this is a "man's world" in many areas. And that comes out in many personal interactions people have while officiating. This official's comments about her being a rookie is just an example of that attitude. We all can give stories about problems with fellow officials, but some of them are about who we are rather than what we are capable of.

Peace

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by IowaMike
Some senior officials will do that to an "older" male as I have experienced it. I am in my 4th season and am 42 and have been treated like the village idiot by a few guys who let me know that they are really doing the assignor and me a big favor by "slumming" and working a sophomore game. I just smile and let them talk about themselves and their big time college schedule. I don't feel inferior, I am starting to get a few varsity games myself and though I know I can get better, I also know that I am a good official to work with. There are just some really arrogant people out there, not just in officiating but in all walks of life.

Of course you're right. There are plenty of refs who are full of themselves and don't think anyone else will ever quite reach their pinnacle of perfection. But a young man is more likely than an older one to get treated this way, and a young woman is more likely still.

[rockyroad]

Gotta agree with Juulie and Rutledge on this one - guy did this because she was young and female...didn't even bother to see if she was any good and could do the job, just jumped to the conclusion that he needed to "take care of her"...Kristal, keep up the hard work and stay with it... someday it will make a funny story to tell your partners before the "big" games you will be doing...

[ChiliBob]

Kristal, I am impressed that you have started this young. If your area is anything like most areas I have worked in over the past 20 some years, you will be offered college work by the time your 20 and that other ref will be having to pay to see you work or, if brash enough, be bragging to his cronies at the bar that, that good looking ref getting all that TV time, he knew back when.

Water off a ducks back. Keep positive.