Technicals

[BigT]

Someone here showed me Verbal Judo. If you are having issues at least once a week with feelings of unhappiness with anyone at your games it is going to make you a much happier person/referee.

Every coach is going to fight for calls. IMO every coach falls into two categories.

He will respectfully ask you what you saw with appropriate questions and sometimes respectfully ask you to watch for some behavior.

Or he is going to treat you like poop.

Usually happens pretty early and I would avoid warning him all night.

When he makes a scene or tells you what really happens I say "coach stop".

Then chooses to escalate and get a cup a T or he understands you are not going to take it from him tonight and he coaches.

If he starts coaches you .. I like say.. Coach please coach your kids not me, if you have a respectful question or respectfully ask us to watch something we will discuss it and look for it.

We have all said things we shouldnt say to coaches. Can you learn from it. Can you forgive yourself and find a way that will make you both happier?

Yes these guys are great giving advice. You can practice all kinds of things.

At some point you have to trust yourself that you are trying to do a good job, enjoy the kids and your partners and ignore those who are bias. Get feedback from the right people and work on your game that will help you enjoy yourself and this great ad-vocation.

Last but not least... the calmer you are when you T a coach the more satisfying it is...

Take a deep breath server the T and walk away. Everyone there can see he deserved it. Stay away from his AC and the table.

I really appreciate you bringing your story here and I hope you learned a ton. PM if I can help and I highly suggest the book for not only handling coaches but every person who is a having a bad day in your life and you need to manage it.