Your One-Liners of the Year

[justsumguy3]

Visiting coach to my partner: "Since when is that a foul?"
Partner to coach: "Since James Naismith hung a peach basket on the wall."
Coach: "Who?"
Partner: "He's the maintenance guy here."
Coach: "Well how the hell am I supposed to know that?"

[Kansas Ref]

In a game where I am doing the 10-sec count from BC to FC and team fails to advance into FC---> turnover; a coach will at times audibly ask "hey was that 10 seconds ref?"
I calmly and immediately reply: "that was 11 seconds coach".
Coach momentarily looks stunned, then abates.

[Mark Padgett]

"CALL IT BOTH WAYS!"

"Sorry coach, we're not allowed to do that."

"What do you mean - you're not allowed to do that?"

"We're only allowed to call it one way - the right way - and that's what we're doing."

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

"CALL IT BOTH WAYS!"

Was calling a B18U Fall League this past season and heard this yelled at my partner......19 seconds into the game!

The ball hadn't even been down to the other end of the court yet!

[RefsNCoaches]

Finish up the tourney for a local youth league I work. Had semi finals games last night. Coach I have known in this league for a number of years that I have reffed it and he has coached... says to his players, who are on the FT line...."Girls, tonight, we are going to rebound the misses".

As we had a timeout shortly after this, I said "Coach, I heard your comment about rebounding....are we only rebounding TONIGHT or is this a thing for the rest of the tourney?" He says..."Oh, this has been a problem all year!"

His team advanced to the Finals so I think they got it?

[Amesman]

Excitable, yet probably harmless coach, is getting very into the young game, probably because his team hasn't won many this season. Still early, so he's clearly still hoping this one might have a happy ending.

I notice opponent lifts pivot foot before starting dribble, so ... "That'satravel!That'satravel!That'satravel!"

Tweet. I raise hand in normal time, signal travel with a smile and as we get ready to inbound, coach says a bit sheepishly, "Don't worry. These guys (on his bench) can tell you, I'll be helping you a lot."

Without looking at him but with a big smile, I say loud enough for him and his bench to hear, "Oh, I'm counting on it coach. I'm counting on it."

Actually didn't hear too much after that.

[Matt]

Originally Posted by Amesman

Excitable, yet probably harmless coach, is getting very into the young game, probably because his team hasn't won many this season. Still early, so he's clearly still hoping this one might have a happy ending.

Talk about high expectations.

[Mregor]

Announcer: Number 23, Michael Jordan, at the line shooting a pair.
Me: Actually, he's shooting a basketball.

[RefCT]

Coach: "RefCT, how did you not see that hold off the screen?"
Me: "I was on the baseline and had no view of the backside of that play coach."
Coach: "How could you not see that? It was so clear."
Me: "If you paid for the third official, he would have been standing right next to you and had the same view as you."

Silence the rest of the night.