Needed.....Your funny Stories/Anecdotes/One Liners!

[Gulf Coast Blue]

OK all...........

I am looking for some of your funny/embarrasing umpiring stories to put on my website.......

Second hand stories are also ok........any funny one-liners etc. will also be appreciated.

Search the ole' memory banks and I will post it.........

All will be given proper credit.........

Drop by and see what I have so far.......

e-mail me private ([email protected]).....or better yet.....post it here for all to see!

http://www.eteamz.com/sites/GCBUmpire

Joel

[Edited by Gulf Coast Blue on May 4th, 2001 at 08:15 PM]

[oppool]

Hey Joel

Check this site out if you haven't it has a lot of great info and quotes you might want to list on your site though it deals with baseball

stevetheump.com


Let me know if you have problems getting in

Don

[Gulf Coast Blue]

Thanks Don........

I am looking far and wide.........

I figured since you do "Alleged Adult" softball you would have a good story or two yourself..........grin

Joel

[collinb]

Here's a true story. I know because it happened to me.
It's High School Girls Softball at the JV level.
The count is 2-0. The third base coach tells the batter that's it's 3 balls and no strikes. The pitcher says hey blue..what's the count. I say "I have two balls". You can imagine what happened next. First snickkers then uncontrolled laughter across the infield ...much to my embarrassment.
Collin

[Steve M]

Joel,
You gotta stick this one in your funny stories section. It's at least as good as my "hit 'er in the box".

Collin - So just how long did it take for the game to return to "normal"?

[collinb]

I'm not sure about when the game returned to normal, but it seemed like everyone had fun playing the rest of that game after that. Sometimes a little humor can put the right perspective back into a game that is sometimes taken too serious.
Collin

[mo99]

I had an interesting comeback a few years ago with the coach of our local ASA traveling 18U team.He has the Billy Martin demeaner when it comes to umpires.I was giving the full knee strike all game long for both pitchers.His team had runners at 2nd and 3rd with 2 outs in the top of the 6th trailing 2-1.I called his batter out on strikes at a pitch at the knees.I felt him staring me down from the 3rd base coaches box and then he finally made his approach.He asked if the pitch was low and I replied,"No sir,if it was low it would have been a ball."He then of course,proceeded to tell me he thought it was low.I said,"I have been calling that pitch all night,now that Alissa(his top pitcher)has taken the mound,would you like me to raise up my zone now?"He stopped dead in his tracks and headed right to his dugout without another word said.

[bluezebra]

Joe:

Here are two:

(1)..Back in the '70s, I was volunteering at a Minor Division game in my sons' LL. I bent over to brush the plate when the 10-year-old batter quietly says, "My mother wants to know if you do windows too". I started laughing and couldn't staighten up, and since no one else heard his comment, everyone there was wondering what happened.

(2)..In the 80s I was working the plate in the second game of a college women's softball double header. With no one on base, a home team batter hits a gapper into right-center field. My partner follows her to third, the runner does a head-first into the base. My partner calls, "Safe, time", and the runner gets up to brush herself off and talk to the coach. At that point my partner gets a huge grin and turns away. After the inning, I asked him what was so funny. As the young, well-developed, lady was brushing herself, the coach asked if she was okay. Her reply was, "I just need a new set of nipples".

Bob

[oppool]

Joel,

Thought you might need a stupid ump(me) story for your web site but if it doesnt meet qualifications I will understand.

It happen my rookie year calling adult game in the fall on a Monday night somewhere in the middle of the game my partner and I were talking about how we were having to miss Monday Night Football the Cowboys were on and being here and a big homer that I am anyway top of new inning 1st batter comes up and a nice strike pitch not swung at and I gave the big O strike signal with the right arm and yell out "Touchdown" look around everybody gaving me the ump just lost it look being quick with the tongue I mutter "just making sure you guys are awake strike" got a few chuckles then and game went on but I was fully embarresed

One of my stupid ump moments

Don

[oppool]

Joel

Here is a pretty good one I recently was told that involved our chapter UIC which I am going to name as Tom Smith for this story. Our UIC has been involved in the game of softball playing and umpiring since the 50's has played against several Hall of Fame guys including the King of Court & Massey last year his over 65 team placed 2nd in the Nationals

SIT: UIC was FU coach on home team was arguing with PU about a recent call FU was nearby listing in but not part of the conversation so coach is raveling on at the PU and tells him "Your UIC Tom Smith is a friend of mine and I will gave him a call and report you in the morning" then the UIC steps in tell the coach "I dont know who the hell you are friend but I am Tom Smith and we can save each other the phone call right now" I am told the coach never said a word went to the dugout and just sat down but all of his teammates where cracking up.



I thought this was a good one

Don

[NYSSO/ASABlue]

Our local assn works a local youth league [NON LL] in which there are three divisions: 10U,12U, 13-up.On a Saturday we will work all three divisions by ourselves..yes a long day! ANYWAY I am working the final game of the day with the Sr division-Its top 7, and the home team is up by over 10 runs...[In this league an inning consists of either 3 outs OR 5 runs, whihever happens first!] Bases loaded 1 out-B hits a grounder to third, who steps on her bag for the force...the runner on third inexpicably starts down to home, so F5 throws down to the catcher, who steps on home........waiting for my out call..and waiting....and waiting..meanwhile the R is STILL off of 3rd..so Im standing there waiting...FINALLY I go out of the side of my mouth to the C: "You gotta tag her..Theres no force..." VERY quietly....C still is waiting..FINALLY their coach wakes up and yells at them to tag her..which they do & I FINALLY get to go home!!!

[whiskers_ump]

Joel,

Check out heckledepot.com, some neat one-liners
Lots of other interesting items also.

[TERRY1]

2 STRIKES KNEE PITCH STRRRRIKE 3 BATTERS DAD "COME ON BLUE EVEN THE CATCHERS LAUGHING AT THAT ONE"