Has a player ever called you by your first name?

[Nevadaref]

At the varsity level, I address the captains by their first names (yes, I memorize them) and I permit them to call me by mine. Most of them are 18 years old and are young adults anyway. I also address all coaches by their first names and expect them to use mine.
I look at the whole issue as one of mutual respect.

I have to wonder what some of the older generation thinks of sharing the same roads with these young drivers and voting in the same elections as these young citizens.

[deecee]

Who cares. If they call me by my first name I'm fine with that. I introduce myself as such. When partners go on about "I'm Mr. so and so and he's Mr. so and so" you might as well introduce the crew as a$$ and holes.

If I know a coach's first name and we are chatting I will call him by that. I have a name and expect it to get used.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by deecee

Who cares. If they call me by my first name I'm fine with that. I introduce myself as such. When partners go on about "I'm Mr. so and so and he's Mr. so and so" you might as well introduce the crew as a$$ and holes.

If I know a coach's first name and we are chatting I will call him by that. I have a name and expect it to get used.

I'd go with self-absorbed and narcissistic, but that works.

I couldn't care less what a person calls me. How they say it is a different story.

[Josh1993]

My name's not Josh, so I'd probably be confused.

Well played.


I'm glad to hear that this isn't a big deal. I could be overly sensitive here because we know most of the kids, and I'm only a few years older than the players so I'm always extra careful to avoid the appearance of favoritism.

[RedAndWhiteRef]

Originally Posted by Dad

I'd go with self-absorbed and narcissistic, but that works.

I couldn't care less what a person calls me. How they say it is a different story.

I had a coach all over me in the first few minutes of a game this season. She thought she saw a travel and I was at C right in front of her bench. She asks, "Are you watching their feet?" I ignore it. Then she adds, in a tone so condescending I can't express it through this post, "SIR?!?!"

If it had been later in the game I would've whacked her then and there. Fortunately a dead ball happened a second later, I went over to the table, told the scorer "Warning, red coach, 5:20 (I made that time up, I don't actually remember) first quarter."

Didn't hear a word the rest of the game.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by deecee

Who cares. If they call me by my first name I'm fine with that. I introduce myself as such. When partners go on about "I'm Mr. so and so and he's Mr. so and so" you might as well introduce the crew as a$$ and holes.

...

Originally Posted by Dad

I'd go with self-absorbed and narcissistic, but that works.

....

I work with a lot of narcissistic a-holes then. The whole South must be full of them.

Coaches and players have never had a problem addressing me without knowing either my first or last name. I think a lot of officials have an exaggerated sense of how memorable they are to the players and coaches. I ran into a player at the barber shop the other day, a player I have ref'd frequently through his HS career. It wasn't "Hey Mr. Ref", it was "don't ref basketball?". These folks forget us as soon as we leave the gym. Whether or not they know my name is of little consequence to them, me, or my career.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I work with a lot of narcissistic a-holes then. The whole South must be full of them.

Coaches and players have never had a problem addressing me without knowing either my first or last name. I think a lot of officials have an exaggerated sense of how memorable they are to the players and coaches. I ran into a player at the barber shop the other day, a player I have ref'd frequently through his HS career. It wasn't "Hey Mr. Ref", it was "don't ref basketball?". These folks forget us as soon as we leave the gym. Whether or not they know my name is of little consequence to them, me, or my career.

Point taken. It's not that I care if you introduce yourself as Mr. BNR. It's more I'm boggled by people who's self-worth crumbles because a "child" who apparently isn't their "equal" calls them by their first name.

I think a lot of people, officials included, have an exaggerated sense of self. Which is most likely the problem in the OP. I'm not sure how being memorable is a bad thing when being memorable gives you a better chance at playoff games.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Dad

Point taken. It's not that I care if you introduce yourself as Mr. BNR. It's more I'm boggled by people who's self-worth crumbles because a "child" who apparently isn't their "equal" calls them by their first name.

I think a lot of people, officials included, have an exaggerated sense of self. Which is most likely the problem in the OP. I'm not sure how being memorable is a bad thing when being memorable gives you a better chance at playoff games.

Coaches and players have nothing to do with HS play-off assignments here in VA, so being memorable to them is of no consequence.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

Coaches and players have nothing to do with HS play-off assignments here in VA, so being memorable to them is of no consequence.

Coaches matter here. Players don't.

[SD Referee]

Originally Posted by Dad

Point taken. It's not that I care if you introduce yourself as Mr. BNR. It's more I'm boggled by people who's self-worth crumbles because a "child" who apparently isn't their "equal" calls them by their first name.

I think a lot of people, officials included, have an exaggerated sense of self. Which is most likely the problem in the OP. I'm not sure how being memorable is a bad thing when being memorable gives you a better chance at playoff games.

Perfectly said!!!!!!!!!

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by SD Referee

Perfectly said!!!!!!!!!

My kids know better than to address an adult by their first name, unless they put Mr. or Miss in front of it. My 41 year-old wife addresses elders in the same manner.

It just the way some people were raised, and continue to be raised. There is nothing wrong with it. I have never heard a HS or college player address their coach by first name, it always "Coach", or "Coach So-n-so".

And it is definitely not acceptable around here for students to address teachers by their first names. A young man who graduated with my older son is now a substitute teacher at my younger son's school. My son wanted to show off one day when I was there and said "Hey FirstName" when the man happened to walk into the office. I made it perfectly clear that when they are on school grounds he will be addressed as "Mr. Evans".

[jpgc99]

Originally Posted by Nevadaref

At the varsity level, I address the captains by their first names (yes, I memorize them) and I permit them to call me by mine. Most of them are 18 years old and are young adults anyway. I also address all coaches by their first names and expect them to use mine.
I look at the whole issue as one of mutual respect.

I have to wonder what some of the older generation thinks of sharing the same roads with these young drivers and voting in the same elections as these young citizens.

I agree. I always address captains by their first names. However, I do not use first names with coaches in basketball. I do in football, but on the basketball court it is always just "coach."

It doesn't bother me at all if anyone uses my first name. Why would that offend me?