Pre-Game Captains Meeting

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Dad

Your perception of reality is distorted.

Call this what it is, because it has absolutely nothing to do with respect.

OK, if you say so. I do not want kids calling me by my first name and in this arena they will not. It is that simple.

Peace

[Dad]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

OK, if you say so. I do not want kids calling me by my first name and in this arena they will not. It is that simple.

Peace

That's fine. I'm more addressing the idea of respect from a personal view. If a player calls you by your first name it could very well be out of respect. Ideally this wouldn't happen to you since you introduce yourself as Mr.X. In the event that it does happen, I'd hope you'd show him/her respect when telling them you didn't want them calling you by your first name.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by Dad

That's fine. I'm more addressing the idea of respect from a personal view. If a player calls you by your first name it could very well be out of respect. Ideally this wouldn't happen to you since you introduce yourself as Mr.X. In the event that it does happen, I'd hope you'd show him/her respect when telling them you didn't want them calling you by your first name.

There is not possible way that a player would be able to address me by first name because I do not introduce myself using my first name.

MTD, Sr.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Dad

That's fine. I'm more addressing the idea of respect from a personal view. If a player calls you by your first name it could very well be out of respect. Ideally this wouldn't happen to you since you introduce yourself as Mr.X. In the event that it does happen, I'd hope you'd show him/her respect when telling them you didn't want them calling you by your first name.

Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace

[RedAndWhiteRef]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace

To each their own, but "Mr. RedAndWhiteRef" is my dad, who's also a ref. Sometimes I'll introduce my full name to coaches, but I don't have a system. Just whatever I feel like that day, or whatever my partners are doing.

Several coaches in my area take the time to remember the officials' names and I've been called by my first name many times by coaches. I appreciate that. It just sounds better than "ref" or "Mr. Official."

I also hate being called sir. It's just basketball, and I'm just one of the officials. I'm not a judge or a sworn officer of the law.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by RedAndWhiteRef

To each their own, but "Mr. RedAndWhiteRef" is my dad, who's also a ref. Sometimes I'll introduce my full name to coaches, but I don't have a system. Just whatever I feel like that day, or whatever my partners are doing.

Several coaches in my area take the time to remember the officials' names and I've been called by my first name many times by coaches. I appreciate that. It just sounds better than "ref" or "Mr. Official."

I also hate being called sir. It's just basketball, and I'm just one of the officials. I'm not a judge or a sworn officer of the law.

I have never liked being called by my first name by a coach. When one coach (who may be seeing you for the first time ever) hears you called by your first name by the other coach it can appear that you are friends and that cannot bode well in a hotly contested games.

Over the course of my college officiating career there were many coaches who I knew very well, well enough to be on a first name basis, but I never addressed them by their first name, I always addressed them as Coach, especially in games involving an opponent I had never seen before, and these coaches were smart (what a concept, a smart coach) to not address me by first names during the game.

MTD, Sr.

[Rich]

I'm a baseball guy and baseball is a first name sport at the higher levels. There's an implied lack of respect or a lack of a clue when a coach calls you "Blue" or "Ump" or anything but your first name. Likewise, I always get and use first names of the coaches/managers. This is from the lower levels through the college level.

I get that there are mixed opinions about doing the same in football and basketball, but I've always, ALWAYS used first names in those sports and I haven't once seen a coach taken aback by it. And I'm happy when they remember and use my first name. To me it doesn't imply familiarity -- it implies they either did their homework (found out who we were) or paid attention when I introduced myself.

Of course a lot of this is generational and/or cultural.

[Welpe]

Originally Posted by Rich

I'm a baseball guy and baseball is a first name sport at the higher levels. There's an implied lack of respect or a lack of a clue when a coach calls you "Blue" or "Ump" or anything but your first name. Likewise, I always get and use first names of the coaches/managers. This is from the lower levels through the college level.

I do this in baseball, too. Even at the lower levels. I even do the same with the catchers if I'm working the dish because I don't mind being a little friendlier with the guy who is supposed to keep me from being a backstop.

Every other sport it is coach for me. That just seems to be more the standard where I've been. No biggie to me and I don't mind a coach calling me by my first name. In fact when I'm working a wing, I tell the HC to use my first name when asking for a timeout because I'll recognize it quicker.

And to throw my two cents in, my wife and I are raising our kids to address adults as Mr. / Ms. with a first name and to use sir and ma'am. That's one of those things that grew on us while living in Texas and I find I miss hearing out in California. So now you've heard it from BNR and myself and we don't look much alike (he's a hell of a lot taller than I am).

[RedAndWhiteRef]

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

I have never liked being called by my first name by a coach. When one coach (who may be seeing you for the first time ever) hears you called by your first name by the other coach it can appear that you are friends and that cannot bode well in a hotly contested games.

Over the course of my college officiating career there were many coaches who I knew very well, well enough to be on a first name basis, but I never addressed them by their first name, I always addressed them as Coach, especially in games involving an opponent I had never seen before, and these coaches were smart (what a concept, a smart coach) to not address me by first names during the game.

MTD, Sr.

I can understand this angle too. Perhaps my view comes from my background in the service industry, where it's a rare occurrence if someone actually calls me by name.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by RedAndWhiteRef

I can understand this angle too. Perhaps my view comes from my background in the service industry, where it's a rare occurrence if someone actually calls me by name.

Actually, I don't care what they call me as long as they don't call me late for dinner! And I can't remember the last time I was called late for dinner!

MTD, Sr.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace

Wow.

I'll continue to have players("Kids") real respect. You can live in the land of make-believe coercion.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Dad

Wow.

I'll continue to have players("Kids") real respect. You can live in the land of make-believe coercion.

I love how you worry about what I am doing. I really do not care to have their respect other than how they address the officials.

But again you are one of those adults that I am talking about. You really seem to care what kids do or think towards you. I do not.

Peace

[Dad]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I love how you worry about what I am doing. I really do not care to have their respect other than how they address the officials.

But again you are one of those adults that I am talking about. You really seem to care what kids do or think towards you. I do not.

Peace

When I say jump I want people to jump. As long as people do what I say, when I say it, and without pause, I really don't care what they call me.

[OKREF]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace

Mr. Rutledge. If you introduce yourself by your first and last name, aren't you opening it up for kids to call you by your first name?

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by OKREF

Mr. Rutledge. If you introduce yourself by your first and last name, aren't you opening it up for kids to call you by your first name?

Then why have I never had a kid ever call me by my first name? They obviously have some training or being raised where that is not acceptable.

Peace