Four’s Company ...

[Dad]

I'll do you a favor no one else will.

Don't try to write fancy if you have no idea what the rules of grammar are.

The article alienates way too many people and has zero net gain if published.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Dad

Don't try to write fancy if you have no idea what the rules of grammar are.

Originally Posted by BillyMac

(I am not a great writer.)

I'm a retired middle school science teacher, and an environmental chemical analyst, not a writer, yet I was assigned to my local Board's Communication Committee. That's why I asked for help.

Now, ask me how to analyze the amount of Total Kjeldahl Nitrogen in a sample of effluent sewage water. I'll blow your socks off.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

I'm a retired middle school science teacher, and an environmental chemical analyst, not a writer, yet I was assigned to my local Board's Communication Committee. That's why I asked for help.

Not writing fancy was the most helpful tip I could give you. You write like you'd talk to someone and just place commas all over the place. If you simplify your writing it makes it more engaging for the reader.

The topic is just something I would never let someone publish. While it may be something an individual finds important to them, it's going to spit in the face of anyone who isn't on board. In most demographics it's never going to sit well.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Dad

The topic is just something I would never let someone publish. While it may be something an individual finds important to them, it's going to spit in the face of anyone who isn't on board. In most demographics it's never going to sit well.

Originally Posted by BillyMac

... this is a local, "When in Rome ...", issue ,,,

"All politics is local" (Speaker of the U.S. House Tip O'Neill, 1982)

Although I've recently had an article published in the IAABO Sportorial, this article, Four's Company, is only for my local board. Since a recent change in our rating system, we have many officials who think that they can just show up, work their game, and leave. That my be 100% alright for many Forum members, but it's not alright here in my little corner of Connecticut.

Originally Posted by BillyMac

Board 2015-16 Member Expectations Policy, “Varsity members arrive early to observe subvarsity officials and subvarsity officials remain to observe varsity officials”.

This article is just a friendly reminder to our local officials that includes a rationale for our policy.

[Dad]

It's not friendly when it alienates most new officials. New professional referees with high potential don't like the idea of wasting an entire night learning nothing. They'd rather show up, do a great job, and go home with some money.

Everyone learns in their own way and I don't care how they do it as long as they make my association better. Being the best is about having the best, not about arbitrary expectations of an imaginary rationale.

[Freddy]

With all due respect to the previous critique given... No, strike that. With NO due respect to the previous critique given...
What you were assigned to communicate, based on your board's wishes seems to have been clearly and forthrightly expressed. No overly flowerly language, no undue or harsh criticism, no calling people out unjustly, no "from the top down" pontificating (that's three commas in a sentence without a verb - ). This, meant for a closed group of officials, seems fitting for wider distribution beyond that to associations whose expectations are similar. Now, you know me. I'm about the most stuck-up grammar nazi there is on this Forum. Ending sentences with prepositions, for instance, is something up with which we ought not put. And you and I have privately critiqued each other's work many times, so I'm ready to suggest improvements if/as necessary. However, as to any alleged violations of rules of grammar, I don't detect none for you to give your attention to.
Looks good. Print it.

[griblets]

Originally Posted by Freddy

I'm about the most stuck-up grammar nazi there is on this Forum. Ending sentences with prepositions, for instance, is something up with which we ought not put.

The grammar nazis I know would never use back-to-back prepositions in a sentence.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Dad

New professional referees with high potential don't like the idea of wasting an entire night learning nothing. They'd rather show up, do a great job, and go home with some money ... not about arbitrary expectations of an imaginary rationale.

These are not arbitrary expectations, but it is policy on my local Board. Not observing the first game, or not staying for the second game, will impact an official's future assignments.

In the past this policy was carved in stone (with established penalties; assignment penalties, and cash penalties), now it's only carved in wood, so officials need to be reminded of their member expectations.

Again, this is a "When in Rome ..." thing, and I'm fully aware that local listings will be much different in other geographic areas.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

These are not arbitrary expectations, but it is policy on my local Board. Not observing the first game, or not staying for the second game, will impact an official's future assignments.

In the past this policy was carved in stone (with established penalties; assignment penalties, and cash penalties), now it's only carved in wood, so officials need to be reminded of their member expectations.

Again, this is a "When in Rome ..." thing, and I'm fully aware that local listings will be much different in other geographic areas.

Goodbye potential.

There is no good reason to have this expectation except personal whims. They think it's practical, educational, etc.

At least they are moving in the right direction. I can't even fathom cash penalties.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Dad

It's not friendly when it alienates most new officials. New professional referees with high potential don't like the idea of wasting an entire night learning nothing. They'd rather show up, do a great job, and go home with some money.

Everyone learns in their own way and I don't care how they do it as long as they make my association better. Being the best is about having the best, not about arbitrary expectations of an imaginary rationale.

New officials working subvarsity HS games are not guys that, typically, learn nothing by observing more experienced officials -- if they're looking for items to take away.

I agree that having this as written policy is absurd, however.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by Rich

New officials working subvarsity HS games are not guys that, typically, learn nothing by observing more experienced officials -- if they're looking for items to take away.

I agree that having this as written policy is absurd, however.

Agreed, but it highly depends on the association:

Do you have a good varsity official pool?
Who's good and who isn't?
Who has a bad habit newer guys will pick up?
What should you be looking for?

For a newer official it's so hard to get a good foundation, especially if you don't have much experience with the game.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

I'm a retired middle school science teacher, and an environmental chemical analyst, not a writer, yet I was assigned to my local Board's Communication Committee. That's why I asked for help.

Now, ask me how to analyze the amount of Total Kjeldahl Nitrogen in a sample of effluent sewage water.

It's obvious you're highly intelligent; Getting it on paper is an art form.