Those sneaky player comments?

[rybo]

Been only umpiring three years HS and ASA. Working a mens modified pitch game on the bases with team A ahead by 9 to 11 runs through out the game, game ended in 6 innings. Their were 5-6 close base calls that went both ways and I was in a good position and confident all were good calls. In the 5th inning against team B a close force out call at second base from short fielder and next pitch the runner at first leaves early stealing second...I call him out to end the inning, some expected complaining right after the calls. Between innings as I was moving to my holding position RF after cleaning pitchers plate the pitcher from team B comes by me and says, for only me to hear...'that is two blue". I, just as quietly, say back, "let me know number three and we can figure out where you go next". The pitcher then says, "you are the paid professional, keep quiet". He then complains to PU that he has a right to complain even though they were good calls(?) PU never heard our exchange. After game we discussed what happened and concluded he was frustrated because his team was getting beat easily and they watch too much MLB on TV. I do not mind if they bark right after the call...but after the inning is over, they could ask hey blue what did you see? hey blue tough calls.

I have to admit sneaky negative comments seems to get to me especially knowing I am a hustling base umpire and most always in good positions and this night was very confident on all my calls. Question: Am I being too sensitive?

[NCASAUmp]

Originally Posted by rybo

Been only umpiring three years HS and ASA. Working a mens modified pitch game on the bases with team A ahead by 9 to 11 runs through out the game, game ended in 6 innings. Their were 5-6 close base calls that went both ways and I was in a good position and confident all were good calls. In the 5th inning against team B a close force out call at second base from short fielder and next pitch the runner at first leaves early stealing second...I call him out to end the inning, some expected complaining right after the calls. Between innings as I was moving to my holding position RF after cleaning pitchers plate the pitcher from team B comes by me and says, for only me to hear...'that is two blue". I, just as quietly, say back, "let me know number three and we can figure out where you go next".

I have no problem up until this point. If he wants to grumble, fine, but then...

Originally Posted by rybo

The pitcher then says, "you are the paid professional, keep quiet".

At this point, I'd have either tossed him or had a little chat with his coach. "Keep quiet" is very disrespectful, bordering on "STFU."

Originally Posted by rybo

He then complains to PU that he has a right to complain even though they were good calls(?) PU never heard our exchange.

Sure, he has a right to complain. And you have a right to toss him. He doesn't have permission to be disrespectful towards you.

Originally Posted by rybo

After game we discussed what happened and concluded he was frustrated because his team was getting beat easily and they watch too much MLB on TV. I do not mind if they bark right after the call...but after the inning is over, they could ask hey blue what did you see? hey blue tough calls.

I have to admit sneaky negative comments seems to get to me especially knowing I am a hustling base umpire and most always in good positions and this night was very confident on all my calls. Question: Am I being too sensitive?

The sneaky comments will ALWAYS happen. It's up to you to decide when it crosses the line between stupid grumbling by players and disrespectful comments that are taking away from the game as a whole. Don't have rabbit ears out there, or you'll have nothing but trouble. As we say: "manage the game, not the players." If it's little chirping, I couldn't care less, but when the negativity appears to just feed upon itself and escalate, that's when I will step in. And when I do step in, I prefer working through the coaches - put the onus upon them to get their team to pipe down.

Let me ask you this. Did these players know you from before you became an umpire? These guys know you're relatively new to the profession, so they're going to ride you. Keep your skin thick, keep a consistent line in the sand, and they'll eventually pipe down. But if you let everything get to you, they'll pick up on it, and you'll get zero mercy from them.

We have a men's modified league around here, and the pi$$ poor attitudes are rampant. They don't just complain about the calls, they practically shout their disagreements from across the field. I actually think it's worse than slow pitch. Just seems to be par for the course, if you ask me.

[MD Longhorn]

Originally Posted by rybo

Between innings as I was moving to my holding position RF after cleaning pitchers plate the pitcher from team B comes by me and says, for only me to hear...'that is two blue". I, just as quietly, say back, "let me know number three and we can figure out where you go next". The pitcher then says, "you are the paid professional, keep quiet".

Well... normally I'm tossing the JA that makes a comment like that. However, you opened the door a bit by being snarky first. Why'd you say that - did it make you feel wittier than him?

He then complains to PU that he has a right to complain even though they were good calls(?)

He has no "right" to complain about anything. He might get away with it... but there are no "rights" here. He's on thin ice and surprisingly not ejected after telling you to shut up. I think he should count himself lucky at that point.

[HugoTafurst]

Disclaimer: I don't always act as calmly and cooly on the field as profess - I too have fallen victum to trying to one-up a player's comment with one of my own...... but what I try to do (and many times succeed) in the case you describe.......

First comment:

Walk away - no retort needed, BUT if I just can't control myself, I have used "that's enough" and then turned and walked away.

That means the "mouth" would not have been able to give the follow up comment with out following you, creating a situation where (if he continues with ejectable statements) he's simply gone... poof....

[CecilOne]

Originally Posted by HugoTafurst

Walk away - no retort needed, BUT if I just can't control myself, I have used "that's enough" and then turned and walked away.

One of my favorite expressions!

[MD Longhorn]

There's nothing at all wrong with a "That's enough". Tells the coach/player that they are right at the line. If they choose to eject themselves at that point, it's really their call.

Just don't do what I witnessed 3 weeks ago. "That's enough, coach." Coach continues. "Coach, I said that's enough." More. "Coach, one more word and you're gone." More. "Coach, I said one more word and your gone."

"That's enough" means that's enough. No more. Warn and don't punish when the warning is not heeded, and you no longer have any teeth to your warnings.

[KJUmp]

My two cents......
Reread the first sentence in the last part of Dave's reply....."'The sneaky comments will ALWAYS happen." Then reread the remaining three paragraphs. Great advice there....especially when it comes dealing with a men's league.
Men's leagues are a different animal entirely. They require a somewhat different style of game management than we might employ in say HS, JO, or NCAA. At these levels you are (for the most part) tested by the coaches who are always looking to gain an edge. Men, both the coaches and players, will test you that way too, but they'll also test you in any number of ways to see if you've got some backbone. All new umps have to go through it, and it's a very fine line to walk. As already pointed out, you can't have rabbit ears, but on the other hand, you can't be used as a verbal punching back. Remember, with a men's league if you're getting crab from team A, the guys on team B are watching how you handle it. Some examples....how you handle a batter *****ing about a strike call (or pitcher/catcher about a ball call), runner/coach complaining about an out or safe call on a whacker on the bases, crap from the dugouts, coach/player showing you up etc. You're being watched by the other team...let one player, coach, team walk over you and the guys on the other side see you as fair game and will pull the same crap. You will have to learn/decide what you let pass as part of the game, and what you need to address and in what manner. Remember, you don't have to get in a nose to nose or EJ someone to show that you've got some ba**s or that you can't be intimidated. Firm, tough when you need to be...yes. Someone with a rep as having hair trigger EJ button...not so good. You have to work at managing the crap they throw in a manner that builds credibility (in their eyes) in your ability as umpire at this level.
Keep in mind that if you work a men's league you see many of the same players season after season. So learning how to handle these guys the right way early in your career is important.
For a third year guy I think you showed some gumption (which is good) with the pitcher, but the way you did it prompted the whole thing with the PU...(not good). What you want to do there is after a close out call on the bases ends an inning, don't go anywhere near the pitcher's plate, no matter how dirty it is. Not important at that moment. The important thing is after making the call hustling to your between innings position. It just avoids the inevitable.
I think if you speak to some veteran umpires here on the board or in your local association who broke in doing men's softball they'll tell you that if nothing else it taught them how to handle intimidation.

[umpirebob71]

Originally Posted by mbcrowder

There's nothing at all wrong with a "That's enough". Tells the coach/player that they are right at the line. If they choose to eject themselves at that point, it's really their call.

Just don't do what I witnessed 3 weeks ago. "That's enough, coach." Coach continues. "Coach, I said that's enough." More. "Coach, one more word and you're gone." More. "Coach, I said one more word and your gone."

"That's enough" means that's enough. No more. Warn and don't punish when the warning is not heeded, and you no longer have any teeth to your warnings.

I learned a long time ago never to use the phrase "One more word, and you're gone." Why? What if, after you say that, he says "I'm sorry." Now what are you going to do...he said another word. You've just backed yourself into a corner.

[rybo]

Knew when I heard the paid professional I made a mistake...'that's enough' or just walk away, maybe a glaring look would've been more appropriate. I can not believe how rude and nasty men's modified leagues are towards us umpires.

PS: This pitcher was the player-coach and lead prayers before the game.

[NCASAUmp]

Originally Posted by KJUmp

What you want to do there is after a close out call on the bases ends an inning, don't go anywhere near the pitcher's plate, no matter how dirty it is. Not important at that moment. The important thing is after making the call hustling to your between innings position. It just avoids the inevitable.

I agree with everything you said, but I do disagree with you on this one point. I'm not going to let a player or coach disrupt my routine just because we had a disagreement over a call. It can be seen as either me avoiding the player because I may have kicked the call, or I'm not brushing off the plate because I have a grudge. In a way, you're showing him up. By going ahead and brushing off the plate, you're telling the team that you're not going to let one call change how you do things, as well as that despite the disagreement, you're still going to treat him the same as any other pitcher. If the pitcher wants to discuss the play at this time, sorry, but it's too late, we're moving forward now.

Getting right back on the horse and proceeding with the game as normal is, in my opinion, the best thing you can do as the umpire.

Originally Posted by rybo

Knew when I heard the paid professional I made a mistake...'that's enough' or just walk away, maybe a glaring look would've been more appropriate. I can not believe how rude and nasty men's modified leagues are towards us umpires.

PS: This pitcher was the player-coach and lead prayers before the game.

I can totally believe it. I've been calling slow pitch for 18+ years, 14 of which were in "adult" leagues. It's amazing how petty some of those guys can be.

[CecilOne]

Originally Posted by mbcrowder

There's nothing at all wrong with a "That's enough". Tells the coach/player that they are right at the line. If they choose to eject themselves at that point, it's really their call.

Just don't do what I witnessed 3 weeks ago. "That's enough, coach." Coach continues. "Coach, I said that's enough." More. "Coach, one more word and you're gone." More. "Coach, I said one more word and your gone."

"That's enough" means that's enough. No more. Warn and don't punish when the warning is not heeded, and you no longer have any teeth to your warnings.

And never use ultimatums.

[vcblue]

After my 3rd year back (off of five years after 6 years on) I developed a very thin skin and I was tossing people (not just coaches ) left and right. During the off season (in Socal that's between Dec to Jan) I had to really think about if I should continue. 10 years later and I am glad I continued. In the last ten years I think I have eject 10 coaches. My goal is to keep every one on the field. Yes there is a line but I professionally put an end to it before it gets out of hand. A lot of times it is as easy as walking up to the head coach and saying, "I've heard you (your coaches), now let's play ball." You can even use this in your situation with an older player. The bottom line is you professionally acknowledge them and then polity tell them to move on.

I think the 3rd year of umping is the toughest. You know your mechanics and are very sure of your judgement, but you may not be 100% on all the rules.

Here is my funniest ejection. I called a high strike on the daddy coaches DD/F1. The next half inning I did not call it for her and daddy started chirping. After the half inning ended I went to the coach and told him that I made a bad call, and it is time to play ball. He told me that I was going to have to eject him or he would continue. I told him nope he was going to have to tough it out. At that point he told me he was ejecting himself. Before I started the inning I turned around and he was behind the bleachers. I looked at him and said, "Coach you ejected yourself. You need to go to the parking lot." He went.

[MD Longhorn]

Originally Posted by vcblue

I looked at him and said, "Coach you ejected yourself. You need to go to the parking lot." He went.

I pulled something similar in volleyball. I was coach/player. Team was VERY good, but while playing a sub-par team they were getting cocky and weren't really playing. So I started yelling at the ref at my first opportunity. She wouldn't toss me - so I said under my breath, "I'm going to keep yelling at you until you eject me." She finally did... and the team lost. It worked, they started playing for real again after that, even when we were dominant - and we won the league. The fun part was going before the review board to get my 1-game suspension (automatic) removed. They almost didn't.

[HugoTafurst]

Originally Posted by CecilOne

And never use ultimatums.

Agreed.... NEVER

[NCASAUmp]

Originally Posted by HugoTafurst

Agreed.... NEVER

Use an ultimatum one more time, and I swear I'll...