Those sneaky player comments?

[KJUmp]

My two cents......
Reread the first sentence in the last part of Dave's reply....."'The sneaky comments will ALWAYS happen." Then reread the remaining three paragraphs. Great advice there....especially when it comes dealing with a men's league.
Men's leagues are a different animal entirely. They require a somewhat different style of game management than we might employ in say HS, JO, or NCAA. At these levels you are (for the most part) tested by the coaches who are always looking to gain an edge. Men, both the coaches and players, will test you that way too, but they'll also test you in any number of ways to see if you've got some backbone. All new umps have to go through it, and it's a very fine line to walk. As already pointed out, you can't have rabbit ears, but on the other hand, you can't be used as a verbal punching back. Remember, with a men's league if you're getting crab from team A, the guys on team B are watching how you handle it. Some examples....how you handle a batter *****ing about a strike call (or pitcher/catcher about a ball call), runner/coach complaining about an out or safe call on a whacker on the bases, crap from the dugouts, coach/player showing you up etc. You're being watched by the other team...let one player, coach, team walk over you and the guys on the other side see you as fair game and will pull the same crap. You will have to learn/decide what you let pass as part of the game, and what you need to address and in what manner. Remember, you don't have to get in a nose to nose or EJ someone to show that you've got some ba**s or that you can't be intimidated. Firm, tough when you need to be...yes. Someone with a rep as having hair trigger EJ button...not so good. You have to work at managing the crap they throw in a manner that builds credibility (in their eyes) in your ability as umpire at this level.
Keep in mind that if you work a men's league you see many of the same players season after season. So learning how to handle these guys the right way early in your career is important.
For a third year guy I think you showed some gumption (which is good) with the pitcher, but the way you did it prompted the whole thing with the PU...(not good). What you want to do there is after a close out call on the bases ends an inning, don't go anywhere near the pitcher's plate, no matter how dirty it is. Not important at that moment. The important thing is after making the call hustling to your between innings position. It just avoids the inevitable.
I think if you speak to some veteran umpires here on the board or in your local association who broke in doing men's softball they'll tell you that if nothing else it taught them how to handle intimidation.