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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 09:29am
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top 3 dumb comments of the weekend.

adult slow pitch.
  • Hey Blue, you or the catcher have to move that bat in case there is a play at the plate.
  • How can you call that a Strike? It didn't go past the point. (pointing at the mark in the dirt behind the plate)
  • This field has too much dirt. (we've had no rain and there is a city wide ban on water usage resulting in about an inch of dust on parts of the diamonds.)


Bash me, ignore me or join in my humor... these made me laugh during a long hot weekend.
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 11:01am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gdc25
adult slow pitch.
  • Hey Blue, you or the catcher have to move that bat in case there is a play at the plate.
  • How can you call that a Strike? It didn't go past the point. (pointing at the mark in the dirt behind the plate)
  • This field has too much dirt. (we've had no rain and there is a city wide ban on water usage resulting in about an inch of dust on parts of the diamonds.)
Possible replies:
1. If you wouldn't put the bat there when you run to first, there wouldn't be a problem now, would there?
2. I can't believe you're that stupid enough to question balls and strikes.
3. If you get your shop-vac, I'll go find you a power cord.
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 03:10pm
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  • "That pitch isn't good enough for his zone, you can't throw it at the eyes or the ankles."
  • On a pulled foot at first, called from 'C': "That's not your call!"
  • After the pitcher puts a wisp of hair behind her ears: "Blue, that's illegal, she has to wipe before she goes to the ball."
  • "If the shortstop picks up the ball on the mound and gives it to the pitcher, doesn't the shortstop have to throw one pitch?"
  • After the assistant coach was ejected trying to show up an umpire: "Blue, why the quick trigger, he was just asking a quesion?"
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Wed Aug 22, 2007, 12:01pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gdc25
adult slow pitch.
  • How can you call that a Strike? It didn't go past the point. (pointing at the mark in the dirt behind the plate)
I wish I still had the book, but years (and years . . . ) ago, I umpired under Chicago Umpires Protective Association (UPA) rules, and this rule was actually in the book. There was even a diagram showing balls that landed short of the point, and labeling them "Can Not Be Strikes." (I particularly remember the unusual spelling of "cannot" as "Can Not".)
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Wed Aug 22, 2007, 04:00pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pob14
[/LIST]I wish I still had the book, but years (and years . . . ) ago, I umpired under Chicago Umpires Protective Association (UPA) rules, and this rule was actually in the book. There was even a diagram showing balls that landed short of the point, and labeling them "Can Not Be Strikes." (I particularly remember the unusual spelling of "cannot" as "Can Not".)

What's unusual about spelling it can not? That's how it's supposed to be spelled. It is two separate words, after all...

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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 09:38am
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I can not...errr...cannot...ummm...can't find evidence to fully support that!

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cannot
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 09:48am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BretMan
I can not...errr...cannot...ummm...can't find evidence to fully support that!

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cannot
The simple rule is that if you have to use an apostrophe (can't, won't, shouldn't), it should be spelled as two words if you actually choose not to use the contraction version. I don't know why cannot is accepted when donot or willnot is not. See what I'm talking about there?

Last edited by JPRempe; Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 09:50am.
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 10:00am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JPRempe
The simple rule is that if you have to use an apostrophe (can't, won't, shouldn't), it should be spelled as two words if you actually choose not to use the contraction version.
Okay, since this thread has been highjacked anyway...

I would dispute this statement. The "simple rule" is to place the appostrophe where the missing letters were when you make a contraction. Saying the reverse is true is like saying since all un-hit balls passing through the strike zone are strikes that all strikes are un-hit balls passing through the strike zone (which improperly excludes foul tips, etc.).

Quote:
Originally Posted by "MerriamWebster
a shortening of a word, syllable, or word group by omission of a sound or letter;
Ever seen "Int'l" to mean "International"? Where does the space go in this case?

But, FTR, "cannot" and "can not" are both equally accepted spellings. And if you personally find one unusual and it helps you remember a funny rule, I don't have any problem with that.
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Last edited by JefferMC; Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 10:04am.
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 10:10am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JefferMC
Okay, since this thread has been highjacked anyway...

I would dispute this statement. The "simple rule" is to place the appostrophe where the missing letters were when you make a contraction. Saying the reverse is true is like saying since all un-hit balls passing through the strike zone are strikes that all strikes are un-hit balls passing through the strike zone (which improperly excludes foul tips, etc.).


Ever seen "Int'l" to mean "International"? Where does the space go in this case?

But, FTR, "cannot" and "can not" are both equally accepted spellings. And if you personally find one unusual and it helps you remember a funny rule, I don't have any problem with that.

All I have to say is that the way I use it is the way it was taught in grade school through college for me. If they've loosened the rules to further degrade the American English language, then doom on them!
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 10:53am
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Where does the space go in "ain't"?

Quote:
apostrophe
n.
a mark (') used:
a) to indicate the omission of a letter or letters from a word or phrase (Ex.: o' for of, it's for it is)
Quote:
Romeo and Juliet (III, i, 94)

A plague o' both your houses!
Just a guess, but that usage probably pre-dates your school days.
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 11:43am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JPRempe
All I have to say is that the way I use it is the way it was taught in grade school through college for me. If they've loosened the rules to further degrade the American English language, then doom on them!
Hell, some colleges don't even require decent spelling when submitting papers. As I was told by my wife's nephew (a Razorback student) last year, "None of my professors care about the spelling or grammar as long as I get the point across."

It is just unbelievable.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 12:31pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IRISHMAFIA
Hell, some colleges don't even require decent spelling when submitting papers. As I was told by my wife's nephew (a Razorback student) last year, "None of my professors care about the spelling or grammar as long as I get the point across."

It is just unbelievable.
I guess his professors don't believe in do o'ers either
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Last edited by tcblue13; Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 08:26pm.
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Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 12:47pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JefferMC
Ever seen "Int'l" to mean "International"? Where does the space go in this case?
Int'l is not a contraction, it's an abbr.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 12:47pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota
Where does the space go in "ain't"?
After the M.
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Old Thu Aug 23, 2007, 01:27pm
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Oh my g'sh. Isn't th's a s'ball for'm? Can't you gu's go to the Engl'sh for'm and fig't th's out? I mean c'mon gyu's!
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