top 3 dumb comments of the weekend.

[gdc25]

adult slow pitch.

• Hey Blue, you or the catcher have to move that bat in case there is a play at the plate.
• How can you call that a Strike? It didn't go past the point. (pointing at the mark in the dirt behind the plate)
• This field has too much dirt. (we've had no rain and there is a city wide ban on water usage resulting in about an inch of dust on parts of the diamonds.)

Bash me, ignore me or join in my humor... these made me laugh during a long hot weekend.

[SRW]

Originally Posted by gdc25

adult slow pitch.

• Hey Blue, you or the catcher have to move that bat in case there is a play at the plate.
• How can you call that a Strike? It didn't go past the point. (pointing at the mark in the dirt behind the plate)
• This field has too much dirt. (we've had no rain and there is a city wide ban on water usage resulting in about an inch of dust on parts of the diamonds.)

Possible replies:
1. If you wouldn't put the bat there when you run to first, there wouldn't be a problem now, would there?
2. I can't believe you're that stupid enough to question balls and strikes.
3. If you get your shop-vac, I'll go find you a power cord.

[CelticNHBlue]

• "That pitch isn't good enough for his zone, you can't throw it at the eyes or the ankles."

• On a pulled foot at first, called from 'C': "That's not your call!"

• After the pitcher puts a wisp of hair behind her ears: "Blue, that's illegal, she has to wipe before she goes to the ball."

• "If the shortstop picks up the ball on the mound and gives it to the pitcher, doesn't the shortstop have to throw one pitch?"

• After the assistant coach was ejected trying to show up an umpire: "Blue, why the quick trigger, he was just asking a quesion?"

[MichaelVA2000]

[QUOTE=CelticNHBlue]"If the shortstop picks up the ball on the mound and gives it to the pitcher, doesn't the shortstop have to throw one pitch"[QUOTE]

If there's a mound on this softball field, questions about F6 picking a ball up in the circle is the least of your problems.

[bkbjones]

Besides, much of this leaving letters out crap can be blamed on baseball.

Everyone who followed baseball back in the teens and twenties knew that Wmbsgnss or whatever was that Cleveland SS 2B who turned the only triple play in WS history. Why do you think they called that one fella "Yaz". Pf course, today contractions sans apostrophes are all the rage, if you know what the f*ck I am talking about.


Back when I was in media, my "shorthand" was often just leaving the vowels out. Tony LaRussa did (and maybe still does) that in almost everything he writes.

BTW, I was also taught that can not and cannot were two different things. Of course, one of my teachers also banned the words "what if" in any sentence throughout my sixth grade existence. I hope she is turning on a very slow, very hot rotisserie somewhere...

H*ll, if "what if" were banned, this f*k*g board wouldn't exist.

[pob14]

Originally Posted by gdc25

adult slow pitch.

• How can you call that a Strike? It didn't go past the point. (pointing at the mark in the dirt behind the plate)

I wish I still had the book, but years (and years . . . ) ago, I umpired under Chicago Umpires Protective Association (UPA) rules, and this rule was actually in the book. There was even a diagram showing balls that landed short of the point, and labeling them "Can Not Be Strikes." (I particularly remember the unusual spelling of "cannot" as "Can Not".)

[JPRempe]

Originally Posted by pob14

[/LIST]I wish I still had the book, but years (and years . . . ) ago, I umpired under Chicago Umpires Protective Association (UPA) rules, and this rule was actually in the book. There was even a diagram showing balls that landed short of the point, and labeling them "Can Not Be Strikes." (I particularly remember the unusual spelling of "cannot" as "Can Not".)

What's unusual about spelling it can not? That's how it's supposed to be spelled. It is two separate words, after all...

[BretMan]

I can not...errr...cannot...ummm...can't find evidence to fully support that!

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cannot

[JPRempe]

Originally Posted by BretMan

I can not...errr...cannot...ummm...can't find evidence to fully support that!

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cannot

The simple rule is that if you have to use an apostrophe (can't, won't, shouldn't), it should be spelled as two words if you actually choose not to use the contraction version. I don't know why cannot is accepted when donot or willnot is not. See what I'm talking about there?

[JefferMC]

Originally Posted by JPRempe

The simple rule is that if you have to use an apostrophe (can't, won't, shouldn't), it should be spelled as two words if you actually choose not to use the contraction version.

Okay, since this thread has been highjacked anyway...

I would dispute this statement. The "simple rule" is to place the appostrophe where the missing letters were when you make a contraction. Saying the reverse is true is like saying since all un-hit balls passing through the strike zone are strikes that all strikes are un-hit balls passing through the strike zone (which improperly excludes foul tips, etc.).

Originally Posted by "MerriamWebster

a shortening of a word, syllable, or word group by omission of a sound or letter;

Ever seen "Int'l" to mean "International"? Where does the space go in this case?

But, FTR, "cannot" and "can not" are both equally accepted spellings. And if you personally find one unusual and it helps you remember a funny rule, I don't have any problem with that.