Seeking positive advise to deal with coaches

[jrreferee]

I seem to be having some difficulty dealing with coaches who are constantly 'lipping' at the sidelines. I am a young female referee in my second year and have received positive comments from my superior referees and tournament directors on my abilities. I am still learning and have been offered some very nice opportunities to build on my skills. BUT, there are a couple of coaches in our house league who are not trained as referees, think they 'know it all' and make detrimental comments throughout the game. I try to block them out and grow a thicker skin but I'm wondering if anyone can give me some 'verbage' I can use to get them to stop. I have tried working with our club's head referee and he's been great but I don't want to keep going back and looking like a whiner. Any suggestions?

[ref47]

coach, you are having a detrimental effect on your players. they are not concentrating on playing because they are listening to you complain about every call. either you stop or you will need to visit the parking lot.

next comment - off to the lot.

[wardtc]

I have found that coach's that constantly lip off, do so because we let them.

My approach is to offer a friendly hand at the beginning of the check in. I tell them my name, ask how their season is going, then let them know that I'll be checking in their side. In essence I'm extending a common courtesy of respect.

If during the game they get excited, I wait till the ball is dead, tell the team to "Hold the Ball". I then jog over to the coach, explain why I made a call they way I did, then I tell them calmly that they cannot continue to question my calls. I don't give them the opportunity to ask any follow up, just get back to the game. If they continue to challange me, depending on how they act, I may tell them (only once) firmly "That's enough" or I give them a card.

The important thing to remember is that you do not have to take their attempts at intimidation. The other thing to remember is that at the younger ages U9-U12, the coaches may not have learned yet. No excuse, but they are simply ignorant.

[mick]

Originally Posted by jrreferee

I seem to be having some difficulty dealing with coaches who are constantly 'lipping' at the sidelines. I am a young female referee in my second year and have received positive comments from my superior referees and tournament directors on my abilities. I am still learning and have been offered some very nice opportunities to build on my skills. BUT, there are a couple of coaches in our house league who are not trained as referees, think they 'know it all' and make detrimental comments throughout the game. I try to block them out and grow a thicker skin but I'm wondering if anyone can give me some 'verbage' I can use to get them to stop. I have tried working with our club's head referee and he's been great but I don't want to keep going back and looking like a whiner. Any suggestions?

These forums can come up with some clever verbiage, but first what are some of the penalties available to the coach ? Ejection, colored cards, anything else?

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by mick

These forums can come up with some clever verbiage, but first what are some of the penalties available to the coach ? Ejection, colored cards, anything else?

Mick,
It depends upon what type of game is being played.
In USSF matches only the players and substitutes are shown cards. Staff in the team area are warned about their behavior or simply dismissed for it.
In NFHS and NCAA games, the coaches are shown the yellow and red cards just as the players are.

[mick]

Originally Posted by Nevadaref

Mick,
It depends upon what type of game is being played.
In USSF matches only the players and substitutes are shown cards. Staff in the team area are warned about their behavior or simply dismissed for it.
In NFHS and NCAA games, the coaches are shown the yellow and red cards just as the players are.

Thanks, Nevada.
So what are the penalties? Do they all lead to ejection? Can they lead to free kicks ?

[jrreferee]

all of these suggestions are great and I appreciate your input - we'll see what happens at tonight's game when I put this in practice.

[ref2coach]

Originally Posted by mick

Thanks, Nevada.
So what are the penalties? Do they all lead to ejection? Can they lead to free kicks ?

Mick. Dealing with the coach is misconduct. So the possibility exists that IF while the ball is in play AND the misconduct is so serious that the referee stops play "only" to deal the misconduct then in NFHS & NISOA you would have an IFK for the non offending team at the time you stopped play. If play was already stopped the reason for the stoppage dictates the restart. Regarding ejection, yes if behavior is Abusive or additional misconduct lead to a second caution.

[mick]

Originally Posted by ref2coach

Mick. Dealing with the coach is misconduct. So the possibility exists that IF while the ball is in play AND the misconduct is so serious that the referee stops play "only" to deal the misconduct then in NFHS & NISOA you would have an IFK for the non offending team at the time you stopped play. If play was already stopped the reason for the stoppage dictates the restart. Regarding ejection, yes if behavior is Abusive or additional misconduct lead to a second caution.

Thanks, ref2coach.

It seems [by the implication of other posts] that the philosophy is to keep play in progress and to keep the clock ticking rather than stopping to have a word with an offending coach.

With that it mind, does the anger of the coaches needlessly build to a more fevered pitch while the officials await a stoppage, which seemingly could be "a while" ? Would a "stoppage" in action, in response to a more innocent request (ie., not yet serious misconduct) to have a quick word possibly help keep a coach in the game and possibly make all participants have a more enjoyable game ?

[cbfoulds]

Originally Posted by jrreferee

I seem to be having some difficulty dealing with coaches who are constantly 'lipping' at the sidelines. I am a young female referee in my second year and have received positive comments from my superior referees and tournament directors on my abilities. I am still learning and have been offered some very nice opportunities to build on my skills. BUT, there are a couple of coaches in our house league who are not trained as referees, think they 'know it all' and make detrimental comments throughout the game. I try to block them out and grow a thicker skin but I'm wondering if anyone can give me some 'verbage' I can use to get them to stop. I have tried working with our club's head referee and he's been great but I don't want to keep going back and looking like a whiner. Any suggestions?

Naturally, it all depends on what is being said. However, assuming this is common, ordinary griping and not any kind or level of abuse, what has worked for me and my teenage son who is a recently-new ref is,- at the first stoppage opportunity when you are near enough to the chirping coach that (s)he will definitely see and hear you - and preferably [but not necessarily] while (s)he is chirping:
1) Hold up the restart;
2) Laser-serious stare at the offender;
3) Hold up your hand in the "STOP" sign;
4) "Coach, that's enough - you coach and I'll make the calls as referee, OK?"
Do not do this quietly/ inobtrusively, you want everyone on his sideline to know that you have disciplined the coach. [It is NOT necessary that you be loud enough that the other team knows what you said, much less the spectators: but if they do, that is not a bad thing]
5) IMMEDIATELY turn & restart - do not entertain any discussion or comment.
6) IF Coach Puffbuttock continues in any way, or gives you any static at all about what you just said, whack him/her at once with a caution for dissent.

I very much doubt that you will have to do #6.

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by cbfoulds

Naturally, it all depends on what is being said. However, assuming this is common, ordinary griping and not any kind or level of abuse, what has worked for me and my teenage son who is a recently-new ref is,- at the first stoppage opportunity when you are near enough to the chirping coach that (s)he will definitely see and hear you - and preferably [but not necessarily] while (s)he is chirping:
1) Hold up the restart;
2) Laser-serious stare at the offender;
3) Hold up your hand in the "STOP" sign;
4) "Coach, that's enough - you coach and I'll make the calls as referee, OK?"
Do not do this quietly/ inobtrusively, you want everyone on his sideline to know that you have disciplined the coach. [It is NOT necessary that you be loud enough that the other team knows what you said, much less the spectators: but if they do, that is not a bad thing]
5) IMMEDIATELY turn & restart - do not entertain any discussion or comment.
6) IF Coach Puffbuttock continues in any way, or gives you any static at all about what you just said, whack him/her at once with a caution for dissent.

I very much doubt that you will have to do #6.

Keep it short and don't say anything that will invite a return quip.

[refnrev]

Be very professional and be dispassionate. You always want to appear calm, collected, and under control. Rarely are comments personal... if they are or have crossed the line of accetability for you...
In HS go to the card.
IN USSF ask him/ her if their assistant is ready to take over because their day has ended.
Don't be flamboyant(sp) or overly dramatic. Just be matter of fact and to the point. DO NOT LET BEING YOUNG OR FEMALE BE AN EXCUSE FOR SOME JERK TO CHEW ON YOU. You are the official and you deserve the respect that uniform brings with it. In a JH basketball tourney a coach bumped my partner, told her she as no good, and starting cussing at her loudly after the game. He would never have done that to me or a male referee and amazingly stopped as soon as I stepped in.
If you need to appeal to a more veteran partner for assistance, do not hesitate. You can learn a lot from how they handle these guys and help you out at the same time. Hang in there. The girls who are playing need women referees as role models.