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I have found that coach's that constantly lip off, do so because we let them.
My approach is to offer a friendly hand at the beginning of the check in. I tell them my name, ask how their season is going, then let them know that I'll be checking in their side. In essence I'm extending a common courtesy of respect.
If during the game they get excited, I wait till the ball is dead, tell the team to "Hold the Ball". I then jog over to the coach, explain why I made a call they way I did, then I tell them calmly that they cannot continue to question my calls. I don't give them the opportunity to ask any follow up, just get back to the game. If they continue to challange me, depending on how they act, I may tell them (only once) firmly "That's enough" or I give them a card.
The important thing to remember is that you do not have to take their attempts at intimidation. The other thing to remember is that at the younger ages U9-U12, the coaches may not have learned yet. No excuse, but they are simply ignorant.
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