JOKES!!!

[Sky Popper]

Q: What did the doe say when she came out of the woods?

A: "I'll never do that for two bucks again!"

[tjones1]

Heard this one today...sorry if it's already been posted.

Q: What do you get when you cross a jackass and a zebra?

A: A referee

[Skahtboi]

A penguin is driving along one day when his car starts to sputter. So, he immediately pulls over at the first gas station that has a garage. He tells the mechanic on duty that his car is making this funny sputtering noise. The mechanic tells him to give him about thirty minutes to figure out what the problem is.

So...while he is waiting the penguin wanders down the street to a little ice cream shoppe that he had seen. You know, penguins, being from colder climes, just love ice cream. He goes into the ice cream shoppe and orders himself an ice cream cone.

Now you know, that penguins don't have any hands, so he had to hold the cone between both of his flippers. The penguin walks back to the garage where is car is eating his ice cream cone, but because of his inability to control the cone well, he gets a little of the ice cream on his beak. When he gets back to the garage, the mechanic meets him and says,

"Well, buddy, it looks like you blew a seal."

To which the penguin replies, "Nope, that's just ice cream."

[U of M Sam]

Sky Popper's deer joke reminded me of this one:

What is the difference between Beer Nuts and deer nuts?

Beer Nuts are about $2.99 a pound and deer nuts are under a buck!

Sam

[U of M Sam]

OK - Halloween joke

A "frisky" husband an wife were going to a Halloween costume party. Prior to leaving for the party, the husband was suprised when his wife entered the living room naked and wearing knee high shinny black boots. The husband indicated they did not have time to "fool around" and requested his wife get dressed for the party.
Wife: "This is my costume."
Husband: "You are dressed as what?"
Wife: "I am going as Puss-n-Boots"
The husband smiled and promptly went to the kitchen, got undressed, cut a hole in a large baking potato and placed on his "male part". Upon his return to the living room his wife was quite suprised and ask her husband what he was doing.
Husband: "If you are wearing that costume, this is mine."
Wife: "What is your costume?"
Husband: "If you are going to the party as Puss-n-Boots then I am going as a Dicktater."

They both promptly changed costumes prior to attending the party.

Sam

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by U of M Sam

The husband smiled and promptly went to the kitchen, got undressed, cut a hole in a large baking potato and placed on his "male part".

I threw mine over my my shoulder one Halloween. Went out trick-or-treating as a gas pump.

It's true, it's true.......

[swvaref]

Why did the blonde have square breasts. She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

I threw mine over my my shoulder one Halloween. Went out trick-or-treating as a gas pump.

It's true, it's true.......

You threw a baked potato over you shoulder for Halloween?

Whatever...