JOKES!!!

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by ROMANO
Man asks the dog, "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" Dog says, "Ruth!"

Hmmmmm, sounds familiar. . .

[ROMANO]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

Hmmmmm, sounds familiar. . .

HMMMMMMMMM...IS HE OR ISN'T HE?

[Mark Padgett]

Originally posted by ROMANO

HMMMMMMMMM...IS HE OR ISN'T HE?

David - Chuck meant this joke was already posted. You seem to think he was questioning whether or not Babe Ruth was the greatest ballplayer ever. I think that even when Ruth played, most fans and sportswriters thought that Ty Cobb was the greatest ballplayer ever, even though history isn't as supportive of his personal values.

[NICK]

Subject: actual court proceedings
Now this is damn funny.....
Things people actually said in court.
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

[NICK]

One Dead Frog
One of the teachers had a kindergartener come up to her and say that he had found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, "I pissed in its ear." The teacher said, "You what?" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead

SKINNY DIP
An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice, picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basketball court, etc. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came to feed the alligator."
Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill.

[Mark Padgett]

A scientist was experimenting with a frog. He yelled at the frog "JUMP". The frog jumped 8 feet. The scientist wrote in his notebook "Frogs with 4 legs jump 8 feet."

He then cut one of the frog's legs off and yelled "JUMP". The frog jumped 6 feet. The scientist wrote in his notebook "Frogs with 3 legs jump 6 feet."

He then cut a second leg off the frog and yelled "JUMP". The frog jumped 4 feet. The scientist wrote in his notebook "Frogs with 2 legs jump 4 feet."

He then cut the third leg off the frog and yelled "JUMP". The frog jumped 2 feet. The scientist wrote in his notebook "Frogs with 1 leg jump 2 feet."

He then cut the last leg off the frog and yelled "JUMP". The frog just sat there. He yelled again, "JUMP". The frog still just sat there. He yelled one more time, "JUMP". Again, the frog just sat there. The scientist wrote in his notebook "Frogs with no legs are deaf."

[ROMANO]

Originally posted by Mark Padgett

David - Chuck meant this joke was already posted. You seem to think he was questioning whether or not Babe Ruth was the greatest ballplayer ever. I think that even when Ruth played, most fans and sportswriters thought that Ty Cobb was the greatest ballplayer ever, even though history isn't as supportive of his personal values.

opppppppps sorry.....i didn't see..

[ROMANO]

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO! I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?!"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half of the members stood up and the other half remained seated.

The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up.

The Rabbi, educated as he was in Hebrew Law and tradition, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested he consult a house-bound 98 year old man, who was one of the original founders of the temple. The Rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the original tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.

The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer ?"

The old man answered, "No... that is not the tradition."

The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema ?"

The old man answered, "No... that is not the tradition either."

"But..." the Rabbi said to the old man, "the congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether..."

The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "THAT is the tradition !"

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$
A woman is riding a bus in the Midwest, when a man gets on the bus and sits down next to her. He's wearing a black hat, long black coat, black slacks and shoes, and he has a long curly dark beard.

The woman looks at him disgustedly. "Jews like you !" she hisses at him.

He looks up at her, puzzled, and says, "I beg your pardon, madam ?"

She says, "Look at you. All in black, a beard, never take off your hat ! It's Jews like you that give the rest of us moderates a bad name."

He says calmly, "I beg your pardon, madam, but I am not Jewish. I'm Amish."

The woman looks back and smiles, "Oh, how nice. You've kept your customs."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%
A young Jewish lad entered Notre Dame to play football. At the end of the season, he returned home.

As luck would have it, he ran into his Rabbi at the airport. The Rabbi asked, "Are they trying to convert you at South Bend ?"

The youngster said, "Of course not, Father !"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
and something bout...france..
in a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all.

President Chirac also announced that his government will be sending 3000 advisors from the elite Force du Collaborateur Francaise (French Collaboration Force) to assist the Iraqis in collaborating with the Americans while pretending to be part of a non-existent resistance movement.

Five hundred soldiers from the elite L'Abandonnement du Field d'Honneur Battalion (French Surrender Battalion) of the Legion Etrangere (Foreign Legion) are in the process of shipping out to Iraq where they will assist the elite Iraqi Republican Guards in their inevitable surrender to the overwhelming might of the American Armed Forces.

"Eet ees important to be haughty and insufferable when surrendering," said General Philippe de Peepee, the Commanding Officer of the Surrender Battalion, who has personally surrendered in over 200 battles going back to Dien Bien Phu in 1954. "We French are ze world masters at surrendering, n'est ce pas, not like you arrogant Americans who never surrender. Ha, I spit on your filthy American victories."

##################..
and something about farmer..A alien ship once landed on a remote farm and found their way to the farmhouse. Even though the farm couple were scared, they wanted to be friendly with the aliens. The farmer man stuck his hand out and explained, "It's a custom here on Earth when you meet someone you shake their hand."

The alien man stuck his hand out and said, "Its a custom in our planet that when you meet someone new you exchange partners !"

The farm couple were afraid that if they didn't go along with the aliens' custom they might be harmed, so they agreed to the exchange.

Once in bed, as the wife expected, the alien wanted to have sex. Again, she reluctantly agreed. After a few moments, he asked if he was much different than a human, and she replied, "Well, to be honest, you're a lot smaller."

He smiled and said, "If you pull on my ears it will grow both longer and thicker."

So the lady pulled on the aliens ears and it grew as he said. Thereafter followed a night of quite pleasing sex for both parties.

The next morning the alien couple returned to their ship and the farm couple was sitting in the kitchen silently having coffee. The wife said to her husband, "Vernon, I do believe that the aliens really know how to have sex !"

"Well, maybe..." he replied, "but for some reason, that damn ***** kept pulling on my ears all the nite long !" ..
#################
A young man, anxious for some sexual exercise, picked up a hot little number in Central Park, not realizing that she was a nymphomaniac. He took her to a hotel. After four times, she was still wanting more.

After the fifth, totally exhausted, he slipped out of the room on the pretense of buying cigarettes. He stopped in the men's room, unzipped his fly, and couldn't find anything.

In a panic he reached inside his shorts. His "equipment" was all still there, but tiny, very red and all drawn up.

In a soothing voice he bent over low whispered, "It's all right... You can come out now... She's not here !!!"

[Mark Padgett]

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line!"





A big-city lawyer went out duck hunting one weekend in rural New Hampshire. He shot and killed a bird, only to find that it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence to retrieve the duck, an elderly farmer drove up in his old truck and asked him what he was doing. The city lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and I say you're not coming over here." The lawyer sneered at the old man and said, "I am one of the biggest civil attorneys in the Northeast. If you don't let me go get that duck, I'll find a few reasons to sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer scratched his beard and said, "Well, Mister, you city fellas don't seem to know how we do things up around here. We settle little disagreements like this with the Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "And what is the Three-Kick Rule?"

The farmer explained, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up. Then the winner gets to keep the duck." The attorney thought about it for a moment, and, deciding that the old codger wouldn't be much of a match for him, agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down out of the truck and walked up to the lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick, and the lawyer's nose was bleeding all over. The lawyer fell flat on the ground and the farmer's third kick to a kidney caused him to moan in pain and he started to pee blood, but he steadied himself not to give in and summoned every bit of his energy to manage to get to his feet.

"Okay, you old coot!" scowled the lawyer. "Now, it's my turn!" The old farmer climbed back up in his truck and said, "Naaaah, I give up. You can have the duck."

[ROMANO]

my girlfreind speaking to me...
WHAT SHE SEZ: WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
"We need" I want
"This Kitchen is so ____" = I want a new house
"I want new curtains" = and carpet, and furniture, and ...
"I need a new pair of shoes" = the other 40 are all the wrong color
"I only need a soap dish" = We'll check out ALL the sale items
"Those are a bargain" = Did you bring your checkbook ?
"Does this dress look OK ?" = I need a new wardrobe
"Look at this coat!" = Is VISA maxed out ?
"You're so attentive tonite" = Is sex all you ever think about ?
"It's just... I'm soooo tired" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
"It's been such a hectic day" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
"Hon! I just did my hair"= Get away from me, you sex maniac
"Are the kids asleep ?" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
"Won't you be late for work ?" = Get away from me, you sex maniac
"Turn out the lights first" = My thighs looked flabby today
"Of course I like making love" = Is this gonna take much longer ?
"You're ... so manly" =You need a shave and a shower
"You have such a manly scent"= For God's sake. Use some deodorant
"My, don't you look comfortable" = Go put on a shirt, slob
"So nice to see you relaxing"= Don't sit around in your underwear
"I'm not upset !"= Of course I'm upset, you moron
"I'm not emotional !" = You'd be too, if you married an idiot
"I'm not mad at all" = I can't believe you're that stupid
"Yes, I'm still talking to you"= I can't believe you're that stupid
"I'm not being quiet" =I can't believe you're that stupid
"Nothing is wrong" = Other than you're such an *******
"Hang the picture there" = NO -- there ! Can't you listen ?
"Hon, I hate to interrupt..." = Turn off the damn TV
"When you get a chance ..."= Get up & do it rite now !
"When you get time ... " = Get up & do it rite now !
"I just remembered ..." = Get up & do it rite now !
"No hurry, but ..."= Get up & do it rite now !
"Did you lock the front door ?" = Get up & go check, now !
"I think I heard a noise" = Get up & go check, now !
"Was that the baby ?" = Check the baby & change/walk him
"Just reminding you" = I've asked you a dozen damn times
"Do you love me ?" =I want something expensive
"How much do you love me ?" = I did something terrible
"Be ready in a minute" = Find a game on TV
"Is my butt fat ?" = Tell me I'm beautiful
"Do you like this lipstick ?"= Tell me I'm beautiful
"Should I get my hair cut ?" = Tell me I'm beautiful
"Yes" = No
"Maybe" = No
"Well... we'll see"= No
"Perhaps" = No
"If you think so" = No
"Let's think about it" = No
"Shouldn't we wait ?" = No
"Let's not rush things" = No
"No" = NO !!! NEVER !!! NO WAY !!!
"I'm sorry" =You'll be sorry
"Do you forgive me ?" = You'll be sorry
"Well, I was upset" = You'll be sorry
"Well, I was tired" = You'll be sorry
"Well, I had a headache" = You'll be sorry
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later, big time
"Do what you think best" = You'll pay for this later, big time
"You know more about it" = You'll pay for this later, big time
"As I recall, it was your idea" = You'll pay for this later, big time
"Yes, I've calmed down" = You'll pay for this later, big time
"I realize it was my fault sweetheart"= You ain't seen nothing yet !
"It's your decision" =The correct decision is obvious
"Sure... go ahead" = Don't you dare, you clown
You like this recipe ? = It's easy to fix
"Do you want to eat out ?" = I forgot to go grocery shopping
"What do you want for dinner ?" = I don't feel like cooking
"You seen that new restaurant ?"= I don't feel like cooking
"It's your Mother's recipe" = You'd better damn sight eat that
"You liked that the last time" = You'd better damn sight eat that
"Don't want to talk yet" = Go away, I'm building up steam
"Just need some time to think"= Go away, I'm building up steam
"We need to talk"= I need to complain
"Learn to communicate" = Just agree with me
"I am not yelling !" This is important, you idiot !
"Are you listening to me ???" = [Too late, you're dead]
"Our anniversary's coming up" = When I think of who I could've married
"The kids were so bad today"= Your gene pool needs more chlorine ....
so boyes am i right?.....
ps
is it the longest topic ever?...

[NICK]

Rewards in heaven
The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He
took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to heaven. This will be your home now." The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven." The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?", grumbled the old man. "This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy." The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked. "That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!" The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless you want to," was the answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." "Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself." The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bloody bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"
Death Irish Style
An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. You'd best put your affairs in order." O'Malley was shocked and saddened, but, being a solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room, where his son had been waiting. "Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer. Lets head to the pub and have few pints." After 3 or 4 pints, or more, the two were feeling a little less sombre. There were some laughs and some more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
O'Malley told them that the Irish celebrate the good as well as the bad. He went on to tell his friends that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple more beers. After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!" O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I am gone." You gotta love the Irish!

TIME TO REFLECT
A man enters the confessional and says to the Irish Priest: "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner: "You are forgiven. Go out and say three
Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months." This time the priest asks: "Who is "Fannie Green?" "A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. "Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman sits with her legs
slightly spread apart. The priest turns to the altar boy and asks: "Is that Fannie Green?" The altar boy, whose eyes are popping out of his head, replies: "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes."

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by NICK
"Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!" O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I am gone."

That one is very good, Nick, but I laughed out loud at Fannie Green!

A man and his young daughter arrive at the veterinarian's office. Her hamster is sick and the dad has brought him to the vet to humor the little girl. When they get into the vet's office, he looks the hamster over and says, "I'm sorry, but it's too late. This little guy is already gone."

The little girl cries and the dad asks, "There's nothing to do? Are you sure?"

The vet says, "Well, I can double check. Hold on."

He leaves the office and comes back holding a yellow tabby cat. The cat sniffs at the rodent, but shows no interest. Doesn't even try to paw at it. The vet takes the cat from the room and returns a moment later with a labrador retriever. The dog sniffs the hamster and gives a short bark. Again, the vet leaves the room with the dog.

He comes back in a moment later and says, "I'm sorry, but I'm quite sure that your pet is dead. Here's your bill. Please see the receptionist on the way out."

The dad looks at the bill and his mouth drops open. "Fifteen hundred dollars?!?! How can you charge us $1500 to say that a hamster is dead?!?!"

The vet replies, "Well, if you'd accepted my original diagnosis, it would've been free. But with the CAT scan and the LAB report. . ."

[NICK]

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" "I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied. "What's so funny about that?" "I'm a gynecologist."

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.

51 Days
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table.
The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed children's jigsaw puzzle. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"
The blonde who brought in the picture explains, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.
"The side of the box said 2 to 4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"

[bob jenkins]

I thought this was a "one joke per person" competition, but apparently, I'm wrong. It reminds me of the time I sent 10 puns into a competition. I thought with 10 entries, one would surely win. Unfortunately, no pun intended.

[ROMANO]

Originally posted by bob jenkins
I thought this was a "one joke per person" competition, but apparently, I'm wrong. It reminds me of the time I sent 10 puns into a competition. I thought with 10 entries, one would surely win. Unfortunately, no pun intended.

SO do you want some more?
just tell us.
David