Good Lines to use on coaches

mcrowder

From my 1st season...

7th grade B-game played on a Monday night. Really sloppy.

I was getting 9 kinds of hell from a particular coach, who was losing huge, but I was too new to do anything about it. Finally during a timeout where he's chewing me out, veteran VERY-down-south Referee comes over to join the "discussion".

"Coach, we've had enough. Stop acting like you think you're on Monday Night Football." He then looks at his watch, and says, "Nevermind coach - this is Monday Night Football... you go right ahead."

Got the guy laughing at least, and off my backside the rest of the way.

BigFarns

Forksref wrote
Coach is screaming about a call. "Coach, do you want a timeout?" That usually quiets him. 😉

I used this one once at a JH game...and the coach says back "But I don't have a red flag, how can I do that?" I just laughed and said something like "this ain't the NFL bud." He must of been a bit embarrased cause he shut up the rest of the game

schmitty1973

One time the ball came loose after the player was down and the coach said to me "Thats kind of a quick whistle there isn't it?" I said "Yeah, once his knee hit the ground I quickly blew my whistle"

HLin NC

a school that has had some rough years but is putting together a decent season and improving.

Ranked school HC is all over our arses all night from the opening kick-off- didn't like the chains off the sideline, wanted us to call 12 breaking the huddle (we're Fed), and middle of the 4th quarter when they finally get a decent lead he starts telling me we should be starting the clock on the ready after change of possession.

My reply- "Coach, if you want the game called your way, we need to move to Saturday. We can both make a lot more money."

Ahhhh, blessed silence:cool:

eprov

In a HS varsity game one assistant is screaming at my BJ most of the first half. The BJ walked up the assistant and asked if he was the Head Coach, of course he said no, so the BJ then said please be quiet I don't talk to caddies. Left the coach speechless

bluezebra

JasonTX wrote
Not a line used on a coach but it did get him in a better mood with a laugh. The coach was letting the LJ have it over a call. Finally the LJ had enough of this coach and yelled to the Ref to "come over and get you some of this."

..."come over and get you some of this.

Where do they speak like this?

Bob

Striker991

bluezebra wrote
..."come over and get you some of this.

Where do they speak like this?

Bob

The quote was from JasonTX...maybe Texas?

JasonTX

bluezebra wrote
..."come over and get you some of this.

Where do they speak like this?

Bob

How would you non-Texans say it?

AZ_REF

JasonTX wrote
How would you non-Texans say it?

Come over, and you get some of this.

Or:
Please come hither, and partake in this excellent verbal tharshing this fine young lad is allowing me to be the subject of.

SC Ump

Best way I found to shut up coaches was by saying to my organization, "Sure I'll be umpire."

I ain't heard a coach since. 🙂

GBFBUmp

Normally I am an umpire, but on the JV/Frosh level I take a wing spot to get experience out there. Last night as LJ in a Freshmen B game the D-coach for home team liked to spend time on the field. I asked him to back up a couple times, then, on a probable pass play, he was actually standing right to my right, on the field, his feet just inside the line just like mine. Loudly enough for all coaches in the area to hear, I simply said (without turning) "Coach, I don't want to run you over"... He looked up at me, realized my size and quickly said sorry, and stepped back. With me at 6'3", 290 pounds (solid muscle of course 😉 ), he didn't want to see me do that to him. No problems with him after that.

Andy

cougar729 wrote
"Sorry, coach I must have missed that one, the scoreboard got in my way."

I love this one!

The best part is that it translates easily to several other sports!

insatty

The head coach on my sideline complains to me that a tackler on the opposite sideline grabbed his runner's facemask and that the headlinesman didn't call it.

My reply, "You saw that facemask from here? I don't know how he missed it."

kdf5

I was a LJ years ago. The coach on my side questioned a call so I said "coach, I know that's right because I read the rule book last night". He thought for a moment and said "well, as long as it was last night..."

sj

Here's one I didn't use. It was a 7th grade game when I first started and the coach was screaming about something. I just about told him to knock it off you're only a 7th grade coach. But I didn't because I realized that I was only a 7th grade referee.

Thats a good subject for another thread. Things we would like to say but don't.

Bob M.

REPLY: Years ago a friend of mine was the local HS varsity baseball coach. He had been getting on the plate ump pretty hard about his ball-strike calls. Finally, the ump had enough. He came over to the bench and sat right next to my friend. He didn't say a word to Ted, but yelled out to the pitcher, "Play ball" The pitcher looked over to the bench confused. The ump repeated, "Play ball!" Ted asked the ump, "What the he__ are you doing?" To which the ump calmly replied, "Obviously, you can see the strikezone better from here on the bench. I want to give it a try."

waltjp...any guesses as to whom this was?

JugglingReferee

Bob M. wrote
REPLY: Years ago a friend of mine was the local HS varsity baseball coach. He had been getting on the plate ump pretty hard about his ball-strike calls. Finally, the ump had enough. He came over to the bench and sat right next to my friend. He didn't say a word to Ted, but yelled out to the pitcher, "Play ball" The pitcher looked over to the bench confused. The ump repeated, "Play ball!" Ted asked the ump, "What the he__ are you doing?" To which the ump calmly replied, "Obviously, you can see the strikezone better from here on the bench. I want to give it a try."

waltjp...any guesses as to whom this was?

We had a guy do that in basketball about 10 years ago. Funny stuff.

Stripe

One of my fellow officials used this one. The head coach had been riding him all game long about missed calls. No profanity but some pretty derogatory stuff. After he had enough, he went up to the coach and said "Coach, are your assistants pretty good coaches?" Coach replies 'Yeah, why?" The official said "Because they're taking over for you if I hear one more word." It might not be recommended, but it did the trick. Nothing else from the coach for the rest of the game.

Fedex

I always liked this one: A coach was yelling at how bad one of my partners was. My partner just turned and looked at him and said, "If I was any good, I wouldn't be working your level!"

I am also a hockey official. This one coach was badgering my partner over missed calls. After awhile, every time my partner skated by his bench, he would critique the coaching. He would say things like "Your kids need work on passing the puck", "I would have pulled those kids off the ice sooner", "Coach, you need more pressure on the puck!" After a few minutes of this the coach just looked at my partner and said, "I get your point." He was quiet the rest of the game.

Scott

CruiseMan

Fedex wrote
I always liked this one: A coach was yelling at how bad one of my partners was. My partner just turned and looked at him and said, "If I was any good, I wouldn't be working your level!"

I am also a hockey official. This one coach was badgering my partner over missed calls. After awhile, every time my partner skated by his bench, he would critique the coaching. He would say things like "Your kids need work on passing the puck", "I would have pulled those kids off the ice sooner", "Coach, you need more pressure on the puck!" After a few minutes of this the coach just looked at my partner and said, "I get your point." He was quiet the rest of the game.

Scott

This is genius....I wonder if I could get away with this in football? Gonna keep this one in my pocket. Might pull it out someday.