Someone get the # of that truck?

[James Neil]

With three false starts before the first legal snap in last night’s game, I should have figured the rest of the game was headed south big time. A’s QB finally gets the play off and rolls right while dropping back to pass. As Umpire I read my keys and head for the LOS. B’s Middle-Linebacker who stands 7’9” and weighting 450 lbs comes charging over and knocks me head over heals into the next county. While on my way I figure it’s going to be best if I just tuck and roll which I did. (Roll being the most descriptive word here) Funny thing is I’m more worried about my crewmates seeing me go down then I am about any injures. After the play I’m asked if I’m ok before they crack up while turning around so as not to laugh directly to my face. The first quarter ended with the score 34 to zip. The second quarter just got worse. How could it get worst? HA! With only seconds left in the half, the score 60 something to zip, this wild-*** B linebacker goes by me flailing his arms and just happens to flail them into my NUT-SACK! So when the losing team decides they cant continue for the next half, I was more then happy to call it a night. Well that is after rehashing my acrobatics with the crew over pizza and fermented grain. And you know something? I can’t wait until next week.

[Edited by James Neil on Apr 11th, 2005 at 04:39 AM]

[kdf5]

I got rolled years ago running down the sideline. B1 tried to catch the runner and was coming towards me. B1 missed and took my legs out from under me. I went flying.

As I got up to check myself out, I looked over at our umpire and he was laughing hysterically. The rest of the crew was doing the same. It took them about 10 minutes to finally stop laughing. Isn't it comforting to know that there are such compassionate crewmates out there?

[Snake~eyes]

Good story.

I will admit that I do laugh when one of my crewmates takes a tumble, I do my best not to laugh until hes getting up and appears to be concious.

I have not taken a fall yet and I don't plan on taking one either. I work linesmen usually and I'm pretty quick on my feet. You'll never catch me working the middle.

[Bob Mc]

Who did you have? Semi-pro, right? Just asking so I know what linebacker to avoid when they come my way. Thank God it's baseball season so I know where the right equipment is.

[ABoselli]

I got hit last year more than all previous years combined.

I was coming up the sideline on a kickoff and had my eye on a potential tussle developing. The offensive lineman who was coming on the field, however, didn't see me and I sure didn't see him. I did see, however, a closeup view of the turf a second later.

Laughter by everyone ensued, of course. It is funny, after all.

[Bob M.]

REPLY: In my 27 years of doing this stuff, I’ve been called on to work in the middle about 10-12 times in varsity games. None of them was as ‘memorable’ as an occasion about five years ago. Our regular R wasn’t with us. Our regular U was substituting for him at R. Our B is our back-up U in such cases, but he had a college game (as a U, coincidentally). That left me as the most experienced U in the bunch. But I had done it before so I didn’t give it too much thought. One of the teams had an all-state running back that was known for his quickness and his ability to pick his hole on the fly. In the third quarter, his team runs a play to their left (my right) complete with pulling linemen from the right side of the offensive line. I take a step to my left after I see the point of attack. I’m watching the lead blocking for holds, etc. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see a blocker coming back toward me, trapping the DE. In the second or two it took me to recognize a counter-trap, I was stuck in the intended hole with the runner coming straight for me and no way to escape. I do remember yelling "Oh ***" at the top of my lungs. Both the runner and I looked at each other as if to say, “What the **** are you doing here?!” But before I could roll up into a little ball and call for my mommy, he had grabbed me by the front placket of my shirt (to keep from running me over I presume) and continued to run. Now I’m back-pedaling like crazy just to keep ahead of him. About this time the defense (remember them?) realize where the ball is. With absolutely no regard for yours truly, about six of them hit him (and me) simultaneously. When the carnage ended, I was at the bottom of the pile with about a half dozen players doing the Macarena on my chest. One bloody nose, two cracked ribs, a pair of lungs that were trying hard to remember their role in life and a broken pair of glasses later, I stumbled to my feet. I seemed to recall that a football game was going on, but couldn’t for the life of me remember what I had to do with it. Our BJ asked if I was OK, and I think I mumbled something back to him. Years later, he tells me that he was probably hurting more than I, since he was doubled up on the inside trying not to laugh out loud. The rest of my crew wasn’t so encumbered. They were laughing like a bunch of guys watching the Three Stooges. And of course the following season, I subbed twice as a U in college games. Now those guys are big...but I survived!

[JasonTX]

BobM, that's pretty funny. Not the injuries you received but the way you described it. I don't have any stories of me but a couple of years ago I was the R working a 6 man football game here in Texas. The U in a sixman game works deeper than a normal U, almost like a B. There was a pass play and the ball was in the air going right towards him. Once the passer was in no danger of being roughed my eyes sort of followed the pass so I seen it all, and he did all he could do to get out of the way. The ball seemed to have some sort of laser tracking system on it. No matter which way he moved the ball seemed to follow him. I think it was more his judgement on which track the ball was actually following. Needless the say the ball hit him smack dab in the middle of the face and he hit the deck (might add he was a larger fellow) and done a perfect back somersault and popped back to his feet. He got a standing ovation from both sides of the field.

[James Neil]

Originally posted by Bob M.
REPLY: In my 27 years of doing this stuff, ...but I survived!

ROTFLMAO.......LOL

[schmitty1973]

The only time I got knocked over was on the sideline. I was HL and this LB got blocked over to my side and knocked me over, but I made sure he went down too. I guess the my only goal was to make sure I got up before he did. If I'm going down, someone else is going down with me. Great post!

[Warrenkicker]

Most of the time these are funny. Like when your wing takes himself out on the chains.

Sometimes they're a little embarassing. Like when your B doesn't recognize the play and ends up taking out the defender on the deep pass play. (At least the receiver didn't catch the ball.)

Sometimes you just hope they make the right call. Like when a wing is taken out down on the goal line. (I was ready to run in and rule the try short of the goal line but he slowly stood up and made the same call.)

Sometimes you know they are hurt but it is still funny. Like when a wing gets taken out by the third or fourth guy and hits his head on the ground hard enough to be a little stunned. (Just picture a guy who is trying to get up sitting in a chair but there is no chair and the head coach has to keep ahold of him to keep him from falling down again. At least he didn't blow his whistle again for a long time that night.)

And sometimes the guy really is hurt. Like when a wing gets taken out at the goal line and his cleats stick in the ground and two or three players plow into him and his leg gets broken. To make matters worse, the nearest hospital is 45 minutes in the other direction from home on a 2 hour trip.

The best story I have about running into or being run into is between plays a couple of years ago. I am WH and am running up to a play that ended on the side and the ball carrier is getting up and jogging back to the huddle. Neither of us are moving very quickly but are running directly at each other. Both of us must be assuming that the other will get out of the way. Right as we get to each other we both stop but I have now stepped on his foot. He can't catch himself because I am on his foot and falls flat on his back. It did get a good laugh out of the fans (who were his team's fans and probably his teammates). I did help him up as I thought that was the only thing to do after I flattened him.

[kdf5]

When I was a senior in HS, we were playing a game and dominating pretty good. Our pass rush up the middle caught their QB after his fake. All he could do was dump the ball and he did that with all his might. Unfortunately for the U in that game, he didn't see the pass until it was too late. The point of the ball caught him right square in the noogies. He stood motionless for about a second then fell over like a big pine tree in the forest. He ended up on our bench with an ice bag on his lap. I hope he was done having kids because I think he got an inadvertant vasectomy.

[mikesears]

My worst moment was when I was working a varsity game at Line Judge. The visiting team is losing badly 45-0 in the 4th quarter, but they have managed to sustain a drive against the opponents second string players. Last play of the game, the running back breaks a 20 yard run down my sideline. I manage to beat him to the goal line <8-) and he manages to to take on a tackler there. I tried to back up keeping my goal line position and I get taken down by the tackler and tacklee. After I got up off the top of the pile, I signaled that the touchdown was good. I went to the locker room needing some ice for my shins. I've been taken down more working the wings than I have working as an umpire.

[Bob M.]

REPLY: I really don't mean this to sound like "Can you top this?" but kdf5's story reminded me of a similar one. Many years ago I was working as the R in a varsity game. Dave Brown (is he still with the Cardinals?) was the QB for Westfield HS. Under a rush, he throws a bullet to the TE dragging across the middle. Unfortunately for all involved, the U had inadvertently placed himself directly between Brown and the intended receiver. He wasn't looking and the ball hit him square in the forehead. For a second or two it appeared not to phase him in the least, but then he just crumpled. Brown, empathetic soul that he was, turns to me and asks, "What was that?" to which I responded, "Assault and battery, I think! But you should probably get time off for good behavior."

[kdf5]

Originally posted by mikesears
...I've been taken down more working the wings than I have working as an umpire.

I suffered a partially torn achilles as a LJ last year. As near as I can figure a kid leg whipped me as I was running down the sideline. He was chasing the runner coming from the inside towards the sideline and missed the runner, barely, sort of doing a crack the whip thing as he missed. I think his foot struck the bottom of my foot as I was in stride. My foot swelled up instantly and I felt like I was walking on a baseball the rest of the game. I now know why Saddam tortured his enemies by hitting them on the bottoms of their feet with a club.

[wisref2]

As L (back in the 4-man days) I went downfield on a long pass, reciever is tackled as he catches the ball and I screech to a halt to mark the spot. Being a little off balance, my right knee is locked and out it front of the rest of my body when another defender, who was diving at full speed to make the tackle, missed the small pile in front of me and his helmet impacts my kneecap - and knees don't bend in that direction. I was out cold, but the downbox guy said my foot and shoulder met each other on the ground (he said he almost vomited!). I spent the game on the trainer's table, but the guy who hit me ended up sitting next to me - serves him right. The incident did earn him the team's "hit of the year" award, however. Didn't miss a game - and didn't need surgery until 3 years later. But I learned a big lesson - speed isn't as important as smarts.