Coach refuses to shake hands

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

... report it to the higher ups.

Good idea. Here, in my little corner of Connecticut, the procedure would be to report the situation to our assigner, who would contact the school's athletic director.

[bainsey]

I would do nothing at the time, but keep it in the back of my head that he may become problematic.

[Adam]

The game started with a clean slate. The coach decided to be a prick, and it doesn't matter to me whether he did it at the coach's meeting or after the first foul call against his team. His actions for this game have determined the level of courtesy he will be given, which is pretty much nil. Obviously, it isn't going to affect how I'm going to call the game; but he's made it clear he isn't going to work with me if I need help dealing with a player or his bench. That's fine, I can go straight to the tools provided in the book.

[Ed Maeder]

Is this what officiating is about? Being vindictive. Work the game like any other and keep your emotions aside. We have to be bigger then that. Report and move on.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Ed Maeder

Is this what officiating is about? Being vindictive. Work the game like any other and keep your emotions aside. We have to be bigger then that. Report and move on.

It's not vindictive. A coach decided he didn't wish to have a professional relationship. That's OK, but that just means I won't go out of my way to communicate with him.

Actually, I would be surprised at such behavior. Never had a coach act this way before a game.

[jTheUmp]

Originally Posted by Rich

It's not vindictive. A coach decided he didn't wish to have a professional relationship. That's OK, but that just means I won't go out of my way to communicate with him.

Actually, I would be surprised at such behavior. Never had a coach act this way before a game.

I've had it happen a couple of times, although it was either a) youth wreck ball (back when I used to work youth wreck ball) or b) a JV game. Never happened at the varsity level.

Of course, in the case of the JV game, that coach had been served T in the two prior games I'd worked for his team (once by me, once by my partner). In the 3rd game, he opened the pregame conference with "Oh, it's you again" in a tone that basically said "I'm gonna get a T in this game also". And he did not disappoint. He also did not return as coach the following season.

[MathReferee]

On a related note, my household has been a cesspool for disease this season so whenever either of my daughters is sick with something I will do an elbow bump, a smile, and lightheartedly say something to the effect of "Trust me, with my household you wouldn't want to shake my hand."

Point being, there may be another reason why a coach may not have shaken your hand. However, I would hope that if they did have a reason that they would try and let you know why as briefly as possible.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Ed Maeder

Is this what officiating is about? Being vindictive. Work the game like any other and keep your emotions aside. We have to be bigger then that. Report and move on.

That handshake is part of this game. The coach has demonstrated he doesn't want to interact with us. There are many things a coach can do to cause interaction to cease, this is but one of them.

BNR and johnny d, what would you do in a college game?

[johnny d]

Originally Posted by AremRed

BNR and johnny d, what would you do in a college game?

This situation would never happen in a college game. I don't think it would even happen in a Juco game. For most coaches at the college level, coaching is how they make their living. They are too professional to pull a stunt like this, and if they are not, they would not have risen to the point of being a college head coach. If however, it ever did happen to me in a college game, I would treat him and the game exactly how I treat every other game I officiate. I would answer his legitimate questions, ignore his statements, and give him the same latitude I give every other coach. Afterwards, I would report the incident to the assignor and allow him to handle the situation from there.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by AremRed

BNR and johnny d, what would you do in a college game?

Wouldn't happen...remote chance it did they would also get no conversation for that game.

College coaches don't have time for that Harry high school crap.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

That handshake is part of this game. The coach has demonstrated he doesn't want to interact with us. There are many things a coach can do to cause interaction to cease, this is but one of them.

Exactly, I'm not bringing in previous game experience or negative interaction with this coach. He just started this game with a big fat "Eff You." Would be no different than if, in the course of the game, I needed to ask him a question and he responded by turning his back.

Responding to that behavior doesn't require being vindictive. He's just told you he doesn't want to deal with you. How does that play itself out?

Well, now I know that I can't count on him to help me with his players if they start going off the rails with sportsmanship. I'll deal with it myself, and that means I'm much more likely to need to use a technical foul.

I know I can't count on him to be reasonable if I need to remind him to get back into the coaching box.

I know that if a player fouls out, I'm just going to let him know and have timer start immediately rather than wait to see if he hesitates with the sub.

I know that if his bench is acting up, he's not going to be much help in dealing with them, so I'll use the tools I have.

I know that if he's asking stupid questions, he doesn't get the benefit of the doubt as to intent. The questions he'll get answered will be along the lines of "where's the throw in going to be".

He'll get my polite responses, but they'll be completely professional, short, and to the point. If he wants to be a jack-ass, I'm not going to get in his way.

[JRutledge]

I had a coach last year tell me after he was in my ear every time about calls, "Ref will you leave me alone."

I said "OK."

Then the very next trip on the court he started asking me a question about a call and my response was without missing a beat, "Didn't you tell me to leave you alone, you need to leave me alone." I then ignored him the rest of the game and he did not talk to me.

BTW this was a coach that was replacing the normal head coach and he was not used to officials at a certain experience level while acting as a head coach. His behavior reflected this.

Peace

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Ed Maeder

Is this what officiating is about? Being vindictive. Work the game like any other and keep your emotions aside. We have to be bigger then that. Report and move on.

Basically you have been disrespectful, so I do not have to show you any courtesy. Talking to any coach is a courtesy. No where is it a requirement or honestly part of a requirement in officiating. Why would any of us want to talk to a guy/gal that cannot shake our hands in a ceremonial fashion that does not even show that you like or respect us in the first place? And it a person cannot shake our hands, they do not need me to say anything to them as that will be seen as another issue when I speak to them. If you wish to talk, that is on you. I have told coaches in the past when they have been disrespectful, "I am not talking you anymore." They need me much more than I need them. They need to know that sometimes.

Peace

[Ed Maeder]

Coaches are disrespectful to officials all the time. Does that mean we lower ourselves to their level.