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[JetMetFan]

Originally Posted by Nevadaref

Why does that matter?

Just curious because some might argue if it's said about the player while the person who made the comment is facing away from the opponent and only an official can hear that they could talk the player down. I'm not part of "some" but again, I was curious.

Originally Posted by BatteryPowered

Are you going to whack him or just say something along the lines of "I know you're frustrated but I heard that. If someone else in the gym hears you say something like that you will leave me no option."

Now...if you fall into the "talk them down" camp, this is way the heck too much dialogue to have with the kid.

[BatteryPowered]

JetMetFan...that isn't what I said. It was a long time ago but I think I just said "Watch it, controll yourself." I was lead and he was facing the wall. Being right next to him I barely heard it.

The dialog I mentioned wasn't constant the entire game and they always were looking at teammates. You know the type of stuff...one would make a shot over the other and say something like "All day long" as they ran to the other end. One blocked the others shot and when he teammates came up to him he said "Not today". Stuff like that...they never looked at each other when they were talking but you knew it was directed at the other. Like a pro coach sending a message to his players through the media at a press conference...not said directly to them but the message was sent.

The player in question's team was seeing their lead shrink rather quickly and I thought it was mostly frustration. Now if someone else would have heard it or he had been facing the player...whole different story and significantly different result.

[BatteryPowered]

Just to add...

I viewed this a lot like an incident that happened the week before. An official I knew was calling a game at a school where the head coach rarely said ANYTHING to officials. That night, right from the start he was carping about everything and almost stomping around in the bench area. A player for the other team slipped and banged his head on the floor and while his coaches tended to him this official asked the coach if there was a problem because he was acting so out of character. The coach told him he had received a call that his father passed away earlier that afternoon, then added "Dad would have wanted me to coach tonight." He told the coach they would work with him, but he needed to try to control his emotions as best he could. They managed to get through the game without having to stick him.

[Travelling Man]

I admire the way you'all handle these "un-anticipated" and problematic issues on the fly. As refs you are tasked with making split second decisions that must be correct 99.5% of the time--in the heat of the moment of competition and against the backdrop of heckling rawdy fans, frustrated players, and all manner of distractions. Small wonder

[justacoach]

Travelin Man:
Has anyone welcomed you to the forum?
If not, let me be the first. I am sure you will find it to be a worthhwhile learning experience

[Travelling Man]

Thanks for the very kind welcome kind sir!
And, thanks for the thoughtfulness you [and your colleagues] have exhibited toward my questions on the posts.
I sincerely hope that you prosper in your officiating career.
Admittedly, I am sometimes a teensy bit "intimidated" by coaches who act like they can boss me around and make odd faces when I call violations on their players--hence my screen name "you're travelling man" is what I once told a player in earshot of their coach during a JV game this past Spring--when the player was unexpectedly trapped by defender from the blind side. The coach looked askance at me and tried to belittle the credibility of my call---I just look back at him and keep officiating. It feels great to have the insight and support of you all.

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by Travelling Man

Admittedly, I am sometimes a teensy bit "intimidated" by coaches.

You'll get over this with experience.

[justacoach]

Originally Posted by Travelling Man

Admittedly, I am sometimes a teensy bit "intimidated" by coaches who act like they can boss me around and make odd faces

Just apply your years of "Mom" experience in dealing with recalcitrant toddlers and their tantrums. That is the proper perspective..Just picture them as whiny 2yr olds who missed their nap.

[Travelling Man]

Originally Posted by justacoach

Just apply your years of "Mom" experience in dealing with recalcitrant toddlers and their tantrums. That is the proper perspective..Just picture them as whiny 2yr olds who missed their nap.

*ohh lol! Now that was the best advice I 've recieved since on this msg board. I'll burp the coach, give him his binky, and tech him off to sleep next time.

[JetMetFan]

Originally Posted by BatteryPowered

JetMetFan...that isn't what I said. It was a long time ago but I think I just said "Watch it, controll yourself." I was lead and he was facing the wall. Being right next to him I barely heard it.

The dialog I mentioned wasn't constant the entire game and they always were looking at teammates. You know the type of stuff...one would make a shot over the other and say something like "All day long" as they ran to the other end. One blocked the others shot and when he teammates came up to him he said "Not today". Stuff like that...they never looked at each other when they were talking but you knew it was directed at the other. Like a pro coach sending a message to his players through the media at a press conference...not said directly to them but the message was sent.

The player in question's team was seeing their lead shrink rather quickly and I thought it was mostly frustration. Now if someone else would have heard it or he had been facing the player...whole different story and significantly different result.

That's cool. As for the way they were saying it, i.e. indirectly, at some point telling them to knock it off would be appropriate.

[ref3808]

I don't suppose anyone would say to the coach "Coach, properly expressed that would be MAY I talk to you?". Didn't think so. But then again, I'm from the Northeast and we all know what that means.

[tomegun]

I use the stop sign all the time. Every time I use it, the coach - an adult - immediately stops what they are doing. It is amazing how putting a hand up in someone's face makes them stop their behavior immediately. I use it with my wife too...boy does she understand that when I "give her the hand" I have had enough.

Ridiculous!

I was raised hearing, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Well, I don't want another adult giving me a stop sign so I'm not going to do it to another adult.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by tomegun

I use the stop sign all the time. Every time I use it, the coach - an adult - immediately stops what they are doing. It is amazing how putting a hand up in someone's face makes them stop their behavior immediately. I use it with my wife too...boy does she understand that when I "give her the hand" I have had enough.

Ridiculous!

I was raised hearing, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Well, I don't want another adult giving me a stop sign so I'm not going to do it to another adult.

I'm with you. I may give one a year and it's never quite what I wanted to do in the first place, but there I am with my hand up. By that point, I may as well have just whacked the person involved.

I work college baseball and they specifically want us to tell coaches that "this is your warning." Of course, the only penalty that follows that is ejection...

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by tomegun

I use the stop sign all the time. Every time I use it, the coach - an adult - immediately stops what they are doing. It is amazing how putting a hand up in someone's face....

I believe they are methods of displaying the stop sign without sticking your hand in the direction of someone's face. I use a double-handed stop sign when I see a coach beginning to react to a partner's call. It always from at least 10 feet away and below my chest level.

I'll use a one-handed stop sign off to the side when I'm walking away from a contentious discussion and it's accompanied with the phrase "that's enough" or "we're done here".

[Multiple Sports]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I believe they are methods of displaying the stop sign without sticking your hand in the direction of someone's face. I use a double-handed stop sign when I see a coach beginning to react to a partner's call. It always from at least 10 feet away and below my chest level.

I'll use a one-handed stop sign off to the side when I'm walking away from a contentious discussion and it's accompanied with the phrase "that's enough" or "we're done here".

BNR -

As tall as you are when you put your hands by your side they are in most people's faces.....unless you are scared of an assistant in Albright and your partner has to care of business .......