"Verbal Judo"

[BigT]

I am reading the book and loving it. Not brilliant enough to take the examples yet and figure out how apply them to coaches. The bane of our existence and yet if we can handle them we go up the ladder faster.

First question has anyone read and applied its principles to refereeing, especially coaches?

Is there any general advice for these thorns in my side from coaches.

BTW some recent advice here worked wonders Tuesday. The foul count is 6 to 3. Coach has let me know 2-3 times. At the next TO. "Coach I am not going to listen to a foul count discussion any more tonight" And sure enough there was no more chirping about the foul count. Thanks for that.

Other favorites I am having a hard time dealing with.

"Thats a foul!!" Some advice is "Coach did you hear the whistle?"

This is probably too confrontational.

Any advice on non-confrontational responses to "Thats a foul!!"

Another one is "Traveling!!" Do we say "Coach we will look for it"

Another one is "You have to call that! (traveling, foul, other violation).

Just ignore him and wait until you get a chance to ask what he saw?

I am by personality a communicator, passionate and feel I do a decent job. I am working at becoming more relaxed, less stressed and moved by an idiot yelling at me. I want to have practiced seasoned veteran like responses prepared for these typical situations. Lately its been "Ok, coach" and just be calm. If you have any advice it would be appreciated. Coaches can only say so many things. I would like to have some things that fit me and work well without looking like a wimp or looking confrontational.