Where is the line for parents?

[chicodork]

Last week, Girl's Varsity, 2 top 10 teams gearing up for playoffs. Old school gym, and bleachers are right on top of court. I never had issues with parent's comments before..."3 in the key!", "over the back", etc....east to ignore.

2 dads, sitting midcourt, a few feet away from the court, not a full gym, so they are easily heard, yelling, "You're horrible!", and "Brutal!" My main issue is how loud they were, and that it was only the 2nd quarter, and I didn't want to hear it all night...the coach hadn't said a word and the other coach was the one in our ear!

I know we are encouraged to not listen to the crowd, but where is the line? I understand what I signed up for, and I know the parents are irrational, so I don't take it personal. Suggestions?

[APG]

My opinion, that's not even close to crossing the line for me. Your proverbial line may vary.

[Welpe]

Originally Posted by APG

My opinion, that's not even close to crossing the line for me. Your proverbial line may vary.

Agreed. Not nearly enough for me.

[The_Rookie]

Originally Posted by APG

My opinion, that's not even close to crossing the line for me. Your proverbial line may vary.

At what point does persistence and ongoing commentary come into play..getting closer to the line?

[Adam]

Originally Posted by The_Rookie

At what point does persistence and ongoing commentary come into play..getting closer to the line?

I leave that to game management, but if you find it's distracting you, you can have GM give them an ultimatum. Frankly, I've learned to laugh at them. And I do it on the court.

[JugglingReferee]

Originally Posted by Adam

I leave that to game management, but if you find it's distracting you, you can have GM give them an ultimatum. Frankly, I've learned to laugh at them. And I do it on the court.

My favourite is when the complain about something and I'd like to say "that's the NBA rule", but sometimes they want a call that doesn't exist at any level.

Or, "they changed that rule - 15 years ago".

[APG]

Originally Posted by The_Rookie

At what point does persistence and ongoing commentary come into play..getting closer to the line?

Your line will vary from mine...it's been suggested that if a fan's behavior starts affecting your officiating, then get game management to deal with the fan.

Me personally, the comments from the OP don't even register to me

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by APG

Your line will vary from mine...it's been suggested that if a fan's behavior starts affecting your officiating, then get game management to deal with the fan.

Do you mean if the official were to make certain to see and call every foul and infraction committed by the kids of these fathers?

[ODog]

To answer the OP's question, "Where is the line for parents?" ...

They don't have one. Fans are plummeting to new depths on a game-by-game basis.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Nevadaref

Do you mean if the official were to make certain to see and call every foul and infraction committed by the kids of these fathers?

As one who advocates what APG said, and not sure if you're serious, I'll answer as if you are.

No, I mean if it affects the official's ability to focus on the game.

[chicodork]

I agree, and I know we can't win against the parents, so it's always better to ignore them, but the level of their screaming, and the proximity of them to the court just put me over the edge. For the first time in my short 3 year career, I had the administration go over and sit with them.

Shut them up until he left them at halftime, then I had to get the comments like, "your ears are better than your eyes!" which was pretty funny, but they were still acting like complete jerks.

In hindsite, I would have ignored them, but at the time, I just didn't feel like hearing that crap all night. Live and learn. I don't have the rep for looking for trouble, and I am trying to move up in our association, but I wonder how a more experienced ref would have taken that? What about, "You Suck!" Do you let that go?

[APG]

Originally Posted by chicodork

In hindsite, I would have ignored them, but at the time, I just didn't feel like hearing that crap all night. Live and learn. I don't have the rep for looking for trouble, and I am trying to move up in our association, but I wonder how a more experienced ref would have taken that? What about, "You Suck!" Do you let that go?

"You suck" from a fan wouldn't register at all to me.

[JRutledge]

Fans make me laugh. I cannot think of many times I have ever had to even think about throwing a fan for comments, let alone getting upset by their comments. I have been known to laugh at them and make them look stupid when they are so close to the court, but unless they say something to the players or teams, I pay little attention to fans. Ignore them and move on.

Peace

[KJUmp]

Originally Posted by chicodork

I agree, and I know we can't win against the parents, so it's always better to ignore them.....
Yes, always.

.....but the level of their screaming, and the proximity of them to the court just put me over the edge.
Can't let that happen. You mentioned earlier about 'not taking it personally, but in fact you are.

In hindsite, I would have ignored them,......
Absolutely

.....but at the time, I just didn't feel like hearing that crap all night.
Which again, indicates you're taking it personally.

Live and learn.
Which is what a good official does constantly.

I don't have the rep for looking for trouble,.....
But handling this particular incident as you did will give you exactly that type of rep.

.....and I am trying to move up in our association, but I wonder how a more experienced ref would have taken that?
Then seek out the opinions and advice of experienced officials in your association, they've all been through it and have heard and seen it all..

What about, "You Suck!" Do you let that go?
From a fan....everytime. Why would/should I give two craps about what they say?.

Look at it this way, stuff like this will never goes away. You might hear less of it as you gain experience.......but it will never completely go away.
Carry yourself and present yourself confidently in everything you do on the court, stand tall and proud during TO's, refocus yourself on the game and ignore all the BS from the fans.
You've got a job to do and it has nothing to do with them.

[The_Rookie]

Originally Posted by KJUmp

Look at it this way, stuff like this will never goes away. You might hear less of it as you gain experience.......but it will never completely go away.
Carry yourself and present yourself confidently in everything you do on the court, stand tall and proud during TO's, refocus yourself on the game and ignore all the BS from the fans.
You've got a job to do and it has nothing to do with them.

WELL STATED!! Really puts the whole thing of parental behavior in perspective!