Where is the line for parents?

[chicodork]

Last week, Girl's Varsity, 2 top 10 teams gearing up for playoffs. Old school gym, and bleachers are right on top of court. I never had issues with parent's comments before..."3 in the key!", "over the back", etc....east to ignore.

2 dads, sitting midcourt, a few feet away from the court, not a full gym, so they are easily heard, yelling, "You're horrible!", and "Brutal!" My main issue is how loud they were, and that it was only the 2nd quarter, and I didn't want to hear it all night...the coach hadn't said a word and the other coach was the one in our ear!

I know we are encouraged to not listen to the crowd, but where is the line? I understand what I signed up for, and I know the parents are irrational, so I don't take it personal. Suggestions?

[APG]

My opinion, that's not even close to crossing the line for me. Your proverbial line may vary.

[Welpe]

Originally Posted by APG

My opinion, that's not even close to crossing the line for me. Your proverbial line may vary.

Agreed. Not nearly enough for me.

[The_Rookie]

Originally Posted by APG

My opinion, that's not even close to crossing the line for me. Your proverbial line may vary.

At what point does persistence and ongoing commentary come into play..getting closer to the line?

[Adam]

Originally Posted by The_Rookie

At what point does persistence and ongoing commentary come into play..getting closer to the line?

I leave that to game management, but if you find it's distracting you, you can have GM give them an ultimatum. Frankly, I've learned to laugh at them. And I do it on the court.

[JugglingReferee]

Originally Posted by Adam

I leave that to game management, but if you find it's distracting you, you can have GM give them an ultimatum. Frankly, I've learned to laugh at them. And I do it on the court.

My favourite is when the complain about something and I'd like to say "that's the NBA rule", but sometimes they want a call that doesn't exist at any level.

Or, "they changed that rule - 15 years ago".

[APG]

Originally Posted by The_Rookie

At what point does persistence and ongoing commentary come into play..getting closer to the line?

Your line will vary from mine...it's been suggested that if a fan's behavior starts affecting your officiating, then get game management to deal with the fan.

Me personally, the comments from the OP don't even register to me

[chicodork]

I agree, and I know we can't win against the parents, so it's always better to ignore them, but the level of their screaming, and the proximity of them to the court just put me over the edge. For the first time in my short 3 year career, I had the administration go over and sit with them.

Shut them up until he left them at halftime, then I had to get the comments like, "your ears are better than your eyes!" which was pretty funny, but they were still acting like complete jerks.

In hindsite, I would have ignored them, but at the time, I just didn't feel like hearing that crap all night. Live and learn. I don't have the rep for looking for trouble, and I am trying to move up in our association, but I wonder how a more experienced ref would have taken that? What about, "You Suck!" Do you let that go?

[Terrapins Fan]

I hear much worse. And if you stay with it long enough, you will too.

If you can't take the heat, this isn't the business for you. You will be threatened and possibly worse.

I had a parent invite me outside after the game...I did a big game last week where the home team was upset by an unranked team, parents were yelling, you'll be doing girls 6th grade tomorrow, yeah, because their team got out scored 13-1 in the 4th Q, it's my fault. BTW, they were 1 for 6 from the FT line in the 4th. lost by 2.

Unless they use profanity, I pretty much ignore the morons.

[APG]

Originally Posted by chicodork

In hindsite, I would have ignored them, but at the time, I just didn't feel like hearing that crap all night. Live and learn. I don't have the rep for looking for trouble, and I am trying to move up in our association, but I wonder how a more experienced ref would have taken that? What about, "You Suck!" Do you let that go?

"You suck" from a fan wouldn't register at all to me.

[JRutledge]

Fans make me laugh. I cannot think of many times I have ever had to even think about throwing a fan for comments, let alone getting upset by their comments. I have been known to laugh at them and make them look stupid when they are so close to the court, but unless they say something to the players or teams, I pay little attention to fans. Ignore them and move on.

Peace

[rekent]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I have been known to laugh at them and make them look stupid when they are so close to the court, ...

Please, go on. Do tell...

[VaTerp]

As others have said I find fans who choose to behave this way comical and have to keep myself from literally laughing at them on the court.

On occasion when a fan is being particularly loud I may accidentally make eye contact and smile at them.

But for the most part I just ignore the ignorance. All most of them want is a reaction. They want their 15 seconds of fame and to try and rattle you and/or visibly affect the way you are calling the game. When you get game management on them I almost see it as a sign of weakness that they are really getting to you.

Obviously there are some situations that cross the line and sometimes we all get in the mood where we just don't feel like hearing it. But I think you're better off just ignoring it or cursing them out in your head. I hear a really stupid comment sometimes and I just say "STFU dumb arse" in my head. Makes me feel better and works for me.

Comments like "you suck" or anything mentioned in the OP don't even come close to something I would think about or feel the need to have game management involved.

[JetMetFan]

I agree with everything said by the other vets but I'm now remembering the only time I had a parent removed from a gym. Either 8th or 9th grade girls about 15 years ago in GA. Dad wasn't being profane but it was similar to the OP: the only extremely loud person in a pretty empty gym. I didn't make a big scene. Just nodded to GM and those folks took care of the rest.

After Dad was led out at halftime I heard one of the players say, "Did they kick him out?" One of her teammates said, "Yeah." The girl said, "Good."

It was her father.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by rekent

Please, go on. Do tell...

There is an occaion that you can say something to one of these fools during a dead ball something that embarrasses them. There are multiple ways to do this as they often say something to you that opens the door, but you can make them look silly by your response or they realize that their behavior might not be a good idea to continue.

The most effective way is what a couple of former partners called "Playing the game." They would point out the fool that was usually very over the top yelling and screaming. And what we would do was bring a partner with you and look in the stands directly at the troublemaker, and start talking to each other and usually nothing about the fan and the fan would realize they were caught and stop yelling or their wife or husband or kid would tell them to "shut up." One time it worked so well, the guy left on his own without us using GM to remove them. The bottom line is you do this very sparely and you do it when you read the situation properly. And the fewer people in a crowd the better. If it is very crowded then it does not work as well or might be harder to figure out who is doing all the yelling.

Peace