Where is the line for parents?

[KJUmp]

Originally Posted by chicodork

I agree, and I know we can't win against the parents, so it's always better to ignore them.....
Yes, always.

.....but the level of their screaming, and the proximity of them to the court just put me over the edge.
Can't let that happen. You mentioned earlier about 'not taking it personally, but in fact you are.

In hindsite, I would have ignored them,......
Absolutely

.....but at the time, I just didn't feel like hearing that crap all night.
Which again, indicates you're taking it personally.

Live and learn.
Which is what a good official does constantly.

I don't have the rep for looking for trouble,.....
But handling this particular incident as you did will give you exactly that type of rep.

.....and I am trying to move up in our association, but I wonder how a more experienced ref would have taken that?
Then seek out the opinions and advice of experienced officials in your association, they've all been through it and have heard and seen it all..

What about, "You Suck!" Do you let that go?
From a fan....everytime. Why would/should I give two craps about what they say?.

Look at it this way, stuff like this will never goes away. You might hear less of it as you gain experience.......but it will never completely go away.
Carry yourself and present yourself confidently in everything you do on the court, stand tall and proud during TO's, refocus yourself on the game and ignore all the BS from the fans.
You've got a job to do and it has nothing to do with them.

[The_Rookie]

Originally Posted by KJUmp

Look at it this way, stuff like this will never goes away. You might hear less of it as you gain experience.......but it will never completely go away.
Carry yourself and present yourself confidently in everything you do on the court, stand tall and proud during TO's, refocus yourself on the game and ignore all the BS from the fans.
You've got a job to do and it has nothing to do with them.

WELL STATED!! Really puts the whole thing of parental behavior in perspective!

[Jay R]

A friend was asking about idiot fans and how I put up with them. I said it's funny but 1500 fans booing and yelling stuff doesn't bother me. I find it more difficult to ignore the one guy in a quiet gym. Having said that, I can't think of anything to do or say that is more effective than ignoring him/her/them. I take pride in what I do and I take pride in the fact that I can stand close to someone who is yelling at me and pretend that I don't hear him.

Rarely have I dealt with fans. I did tell a parent to cut it out when he was heckling the catcher (baseball example) of the opposing team. This was 12-13 year olds. The idea of a 40 year man heckling a 13 year player did not sit well with me. He never said boo again. I also addressed a fan who heckling us after he swore. I said "keep it clean". He preceded to heckle me profusely after that. But then he said "I didn't swear that time". All I could do was laugh.

[jTheUmp]

Originally Posted by Jay R

it's funny but 1500 fans booing and yelling stuff doesn't bother me. I find it more difficult to ignore the one guy in a quiet gym.

Amen to that. 1500 fans... you can't hear individual voices anyway. The one guy in the gym of 25 spectators is the one that'll get heard... and in my experience they'll usually be shamed into shutting up eventually.

Remember: they're not yelling at you, they're yelling at the shirt.

I did, once, explain to a group of "Three seconds" parents why I wasn't calling 3-second violations, it was an 11U game, and these parents were yelling for 3 second violations when the ball was still in the backcourt, during a throw-in, and in the shot-miss-rebound-shot-miss-rebound-shot-rinse-repeat sequences we all know and love. During a timeout, when I was standing right in front of them at the throw-in spot, I calmly turned around and asked "would you like to know why I'm not calling 3 seconds?"... I quickly explained to them the rule, and nobody said anything the rest of the game.

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by jTheUmp

I did, once, explain to a group of "Three seconds" parents why I wasn't calling 3-second violations, it was an 11U game, and these parents were yelling for 3 second violations when the ball was still in the backcourt, during a throw-in, and in the shot-miss-rebound-shot-miss-rebound-shot-rinse-repeat sequences we all know and love. During a timeout, when I was standing right in front of them at the throw-in spot, I calmly turned around and asked "would you like to know why I'm not calling 3 seconds?"... I quickly explained to them the rule, and nobody said anything the rest of the game.

My partner did the exact same thing once in a rec league game, though his line was, "All right! Who needs a rules clinic?!"

Not only was it effective, when he had an actual three-seconds violation (from the trail) instead of signalling, he whistled, pointed to the crowd and said, "What's the call?"

The small crowd exclaimed gleefully, "THREE SECONDS!!!"

[Pantherdreams]

We've acutally had to remove a number of fans this year (I say we I mean game mangement) the schools in our area were asked to come up with codes of conduct for spectators and post them. Some schools are very general while others are very specific. In some of the more specific cases schools even will have GM remove fans before anyone else has said anything.

We were in a gym two weekends ago with a code up that had rules to ) be supportive of all fans, players, coaches and officials and as a seperate rule b) to not question the judgement of officials or coaches.

In the game before ours a fan was removed by GM for saying "Hey Ref, that's a travel." In other gyms I've seen fans get up and start talking directly to players/officials with no repercussions. Mixed bag!