Where is the line for parents?

[Raymond]

I will purposely get close to those in the first row then just roll my eyes at them. Not many say much when I'm up close. Six-5, 250 has some advantages.

[zm1283]

I haven't been doing this for a really long time, but I have never even came close to having a fan removed. The things in the OP wouldn't even register with me. Like everyone else has said, I think the stuff people pop off about is funny. There are other officials who take it very personally and get game management involved at the drop of a hat, which I don't understand.

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

Six-5, 250 has some advantages.

I can relate to that!

(Okay, just the latter part.)

Anyway, to answer the OP, I draw the line at profanity, threats, or anything else inappropriate toward the kids. That's about it.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by zm1283

I haven't been doing this for a really long time, but I have never even came close to having a fan removed. The things in the OP wouldn't even register with me. Like everyone else has said, I think the stuff people pop off about is funny. There are other officials who take it very personally and get game management involved at the drop of a hat, which I don't understand.

I've probably had 5 or so removed in the 11 years I've been where I am now. I'd bet 2-3 of them are from the same school -- the best thing I can say about it is "it's 10 minutes from the house."

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I will purposely get close to those in the first row then just roll my eyes at them. Not many say much when I'm up close. Six-5, 250 has some advantages.

You have some other advantages. Just sayin.

Peace

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by APG

Your line will vary from mine...it's been suggested that if a fan's behavior starts affecting your officiating, then get game management to deal with the fan.

Do you mean if the official were to make certain to see and call every foul and infraction committed by the kids of these fathers?

[ODog]

To answer the OP's question, "Where is the line for parents?" ...

They don't have one. Fans are plummeting to new depths on a game-by-game basis.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Nevadaref

Do you mean if the official were to make certain to see and call every foul and infraction committed by the kids of these fathers?

As one who advocates what APG said, and not sure if you're serious, I'll answer as if you are.

No, I mean if it affects the official's ability to focus on the game.

[Nevadaref]

Seriously, I've worked a couple of AAU tournaments which have a rule that if a parent gets removed, then his/her kid leaves as well. The kid gets pulled off the court immediately and does not get to finish the game.

A simple reminder to the parent of this rule has been quite effective.

[KJUmp]

Originally Posted by chicodork

I agree, and I know we can't win against the parents, so it's always better to ignore them.....
Yes, always.

.....but the level of their screaming, and the proximity of them to the court just put me over the edge.
Can't let that happen. You mentioned earlier about 'not taking it personally, but in fact you are.

In hindsite, I would have ignored them,......
Absolutely

.....but at the time, I just didn't feel like hearing that crap all night.
Which again, indicates you're taking it personally.

Live and learn.
Which is what a good official does constantly.

I don't have the rep for looking for trouble,.....
But handling this particular incident as you did will give you exactly that type of rep.

.....and I am trying to move up in our association, but I wonder how a more experienced ref would have taken that?
Then seek out the opinions and advice of experienced officials in your association, they've all been through it and have heard and seen it all..

What about, "You Suck!" Do you let that go?
From a fan....everytime. Why would/should I give two craps about what they say?.

Look at it this way, stuff like this will never goes away. You might hear less of it as you gain experience.......but it will never completely go away.
Carry yourself and present yourself confidently in everything you do on the court, stand tall and proud during TO's, refocus yourself on the game and ignore all the BS from the fans.
You've got a job to do and it has nothing to do with them.

[The_Rookie]

Originally Posted by KJUmp

Look at it this way, stuff like this will never goes away. You might hear less of it as you gain experience.......but it will never completely go away.
Carry yourself and present yourself confidently in everything you do on the court, stand tall and proud during TO's, refocus yourself on the game and ignore all the BS from the fans.
You've got a job to do and it has nothing to do with them.

WELL STATED!! Really puts the whole thing of parental behavior in perspective!

[The_Rookie]

Originally Posted by chicodork

Last week, Girl's Varsity, 2 top 10 teams gearing up for playoffs. Old school gym, and bleachers are right on top of court. I never had issues with parent's comments before..."3 in the key!", "over the back", etc....east to ignore.

2 dads, sitting midcourt, a few feet away from the court, not a full gym, so they are easily heard, yelling, "You're horrible!", and "Brutal!" My main issue is how loud they were, and that it was only the 2nd quarter, and I didn't want to hear it all night...the coach hadn't said a word and the other coach was the one in our ear!

I know we are encouraged to not listen to the crowd, but where is the line? I understand what I signed up for, and I know the parents are irrational, so I don't take it personal. Suggestions?

In my experience, parent behavior problems exists more at AAU and Rec league settings..Many times there is no game management on hand and the parents feel that can track you down and confront you when you are leaving the gym or in the parking lot! 99% of my incidents happened in those type of environments.

With AAU and Rec leagues the parents are paying the freight for little Johnny and Mary to play, so many times the head of these leagues would dump a ref instead of control a parent

[Jay R]

A friend was asking about idiot fans and how I put up with them. I said it's funny but 1500 fans booing and yelling stuff doesn't bother me. I find it more difficult to ignore the one guy in a quiet gym. Having said that, I can't think of anything to do or say that is more effective than ignoring him/her/them. I take pride in what I do and I take pride in the fact that I can stand close to someone who is yelling at me and pretend that I don't hear him.

Rarely have I dealt with fans. I did tell a parent to cut it out when he was heckling the catcher (baseball example) of the opposing team. This was 12-13 year olds. The idea of a 40 year man heckling a 13 year player did not sit well with me. He never said boo again. I also addressed a fan who heckling us after he swore. I said "keep it clean". He preceded to heckle me profusely after that. But then he said "I didn't swear that time". All I could do was laugh.

[jTheUmp]

Originally Posted by Jay R

it's funny but 1500 fans booing and yelling stuff doesn't bother me. I find it more difficult to ignore the one guy in a quiet gym.

Amen to that. 1500 fans... you can't hear individual voices anyway. The one guy in the gym of 25 spectators is the one that'll get heard... and in my experience they'll usually be shamed into shutting up eventually.

Remember: they're not yelling at you, they're yelling at the shirt.

I did, once, explain to a group of "Three seconds" parents why I wasn't calling 3-second violations, it was an 11U game, and these parents were yelling for 3 second violations when the ball was still in the backcourt, during a throw-in, and in the shot-miss-rebound-shot-miss-rebound-shot-rinse-repeat sequences we all know and love. During a timeout, when I was standing right in front of them at the throw-in spot, I calmly turned around and asked "would you like to know why I'm not calling 3 seconds?"... I quickly explained to them the rule, and nobody said anything the rest of the game.

[Pantherdreams]

We've acutally had to remove a number of fans this year (I say we I mean game mangement) the schools in our area were asked to come up with codes of conduct for spectators and post them. Some schools are very general while others are very specific. In some of the more specific cases schools even will have GM remove fans before anyone else has said anything.

We were in a gym two weekends ago with a code up that had rules to ) be supportive of all fans, players, coaches and officials and as a seperate rule b) to not question the judgement of officials or coaches.

In the game before ours a fan was removed by GM for saying "Hey Ref, that's a travel." In other gyms I've seen fans get up and start talking directly to players/officials with no repercussions. Mixed bag!