Remind me why we do this again?

[Thumper68]

This is the email that I had to send to my assigner after last night 3 games in the local Catholic league.


"I have two situations to report from our third game of this evening. It was girls. I called a dead ball technical foul on SEAS player #4 for telling me to "do my job". I had no other issues with her prior to or after the technical.

After the game as we were exiting the court, a female fan told us that we lost the game for them. My partner engaged her briefly.

As we were leaving the school the assistant coach and his daughter accosted us in the common area. He was complaining that his daughter got hit in the face during the game and that we failed to call a foul on it. Neither one of us saw it. He further continued to tell us how bad we were and that we "sucked". My partner started auguring with him and it escalated into a challenge from the assistant coach to settle it in the parking lot. My partner and I headed for the door with the coach and his daughter yelling at us. We avoided any physical violence, but the coach was calling us racist. We returned to inside the school and waited for the coach and his daughter to leave.

Oh and the daughter was the player that I called the technical foul on. This is the first time that I have experienced this kind of thing. The fact that it was coming from an assistant coach is appalling to me.

I thought that you would want to know about this incident."

There were many things wrong with this event on many levels. I am just about as upset with my partner for even engaging these people as I am with the assistant coach. It left no doubt in my mind why I had to issue the technical to his daughter after his fine display of sportsmanship!

This is the first time that anyone has ever said anything negative after a game, and it has left a very sour taste in my mouth. I am a third year official. On the way home I had serious thoughts about it being my last year. I try to work hard, study rules, and learn from others. We will see how tonight goes. I have three games in the same league (different school at least). I have not ever had any real issues in the league until last night. I don't have thin skin and I don't really care what an assistant coach thinks about my work, but it was a depressing ride home for sure.

Thanks for letting me rant!

[jTheUmp]

Originally Posted by Thumper68

This is the email that I had to send to my assigner after last night 3 games in the local Catholic league.


"I have two situations to report from our third game of this evening. It was girls. I called a dead ball technical foul on SEAS player #4 for telling me to "do my job". I had no other issues with her prior to or after the technical.

After the game as we were exiting the court, a female fan told us that we lost the game for them. My partner engaged her briefly.

Mistake #1. NEVER talk to spectators.

As we were leaving the school the assistant coach and his daughter accosted us in the common area. He was complaining that his daughter got hit in the face during the game and that we failed to call a foul on it. Neither one of us saw it. He further continued to tell us how bad we were and that we "sucked". My partner started auguring with him and it escalated into a challenge from the assistant coach to settle it in the parking lot.

Mistake #2. Don't engage the coach after the game. GTFO.

My partner and I headed for the door with the coach and his daughter yelling at us. We avoided any physical violence, but the coach was calling us racist. We returned to inside the school and waited for the coach and his daughter to leave.

Oh and the daughter was the player that I called the technical foul on. This is the first time that I have experienced this kind of thing. The fact that it was coming from an assistant coach is appalling to me.

I thought that you would want to know about this incident."

Good work here... get away from the confrontation. Nothing good will happen. At this point, I'd probably be calling the police also.

There were many things wrong with this event on many levels. I am just about as upset with my partner for even engaging these people as I am with the assistant coach. It left no doubt in my mind why I had to issue the technical to his daughter after his fine display of sportsmanship!

Yep, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And I hope your partner learned his lesson too.

This is the first time that anyone has ever said anything negative after a game, and it has left a very sour taste in my mouth. I am a third year official. On the way home I had serious thoughts about it being my last year.

Unfortunately, it won't be the last time either... unless you decide to give up officiating. But hey, everyone here has been awarded the "worst official in the world" trophy multiple times.

I try to work hard, study rules, and learn from others. We will see how tonight goes. I have three games in the same league (different school at least). I have not ever had any real issues in the league until last night. I don't have thin skin and I don't really care what an assistant coach thinks about my work, but it was a depressing ride home for sure.

Thanks for letting me rant!

Wait and see how your assigner responds. At minimum, there should be some repercussions for the coach (suspension or worse). If nothing is done, I personally would find another league to work and tell your assigner WHY you're not working that league anymore. It sounds like you're doing all the right things, keep at it and you'll have a long and bright future ahead of you.

[JetMetFan]

jTheUmp hit on all the salient points but one that I'll make: contact with your assigner should come immediately, as in, while you're in the car on the way home or even before the car pulls out of the parking lot. It's not a criticism, believe me, since you went through a very tough experience. But the faster you contact the assigner, the faster he/she can get the wheels moving to take care of things.

One suggestion - and it's something we should all do: identify game management when you walk in. The only time I was ever followed out of a game was about 14 years ago. It was a dad and one of his choice comments included "when I think of s***, I think of you" and he was doing it quietly while walking behind me. Since it was a tournament in a mid-size facility I had to walk past game management to leave the building. While walking to the exit I said to the dad, loud and proud for anyone to hear, "WELL SIR, I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY AND I'M SORRY YOUR DAUGHTER'S TEAM LOST BUT SOMETIMES THAT'S THE WAY A GAME GOES!" Game management was on him within ten seconds.

[ODog]

Originally Posted by Thumper68

On the way home I had serious thoughts about it being my last year. I try to work hard, study rules, and learn from others.

I'm sure you came to your senses about hanging it up within a day. Don't let one unhinged fan take away something you enjoy doing.

You know this already, but it cannot be said enough: Fans who become disgruntled enough to direct negative comments at the officials (either from the stands or face to face) are lunatics and could not possibly be more ignorant of the rules of the basketball or their own team's/players' shortcomings.

And there is nothing you can do about that short of having a judge mandate that they attend new-officials classes ... which still might not work. Some hoop myths are too firmly entrenched in some people to ever be exorcised.

If it makes you feel any better, just this weekend, I fully visualized and thought about turning around on endline throw-in, and instead of adminstering it, rocketing the ball right in an obnoxious fan's face. But we're better than that, and that's why we're still officiating instead of being out of the game forever.

Keep up the good work!

[Smitty]

CYO is the equivalent of rec league, no? Enough said. While it's no fun to be accosted by anyone on your way out of a gym, possibly a better person to inform about what happened is the person who runs the league and the site administrator for that team/church. It's always amusing how people behave in church leagues. You'd think they'd be the most well behaved, but it's usually the opposite.

[JRutledge]

What happened to you has happened to all of us to some extent. Actually what was written was tame compared to other situations I have experienced as well as others.

In my area this would be a state issue as sportsmanship is something the state can deal with and could bring suspensions for behavior and certainly behavior immediately after the game. These individuals are representatives of their schools after all. Nothing wrong with letting the assignor know, but I would also report this to the governing body if they have a policy in place for these kinds of things.

You are right your partner should not have engaged the fans. I would disagree that you never engage them if they are threatening you personally or they are invading your space. You might have to say something to them to rectify the situation. Or what happens a lot are people will come up to you and say, "Nice game." Be respectful to those that are respectful to you and most fans can be nice.

Another thing you can do is find ways to leave the gym in ways where you can avoid the congestion of fans. That is not always easy to do, but you can make sure you leave in a way that you can avoid most confrontation. Sometimes try not to make real eye contact with people while leaving and when you are ready to leave the locker room, you are prepared to leave the building.

Look at it this way, it could have been worse. You just had words with a stupid individual that has little perspective on what youth sports is all about. That will be something you will witness several times over your career if you stick around. Then you will laugh about these things and know how to make them feel dumber than they are by your behavior.

Peace

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Thumper68

He further continued to tell us how bad we were and that we "sucked".

"Coming from a real expert like you, that means a lot."

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by JetMetFan

The only time I was ever followed out of a game was about 14 years ago. It was a dad and one of his choice comments included "when I think of s***, I think of you" and he was doing it quietly while walking behind me.

"Sir, you're talking to yourself again."

[dsqrddgd909]

It's not clear to me what level this is, but a note to the league administrator/commissioner is warranted, as well as to your assigner if they are different people. If the schools are part of a state association, then let them know as well.

[Thumper68]

All right first thanks for all of the advice and comments. I am feeling better and this will soon fade away. I am working tonight. I be dammed if I let some ignorant folks get me from enjoying doing this. I have enjoyed it vey much thus far. Even when I feel like I have had a bad game I still feel a sense of satisfaction.

J Rut My assigner is the one who notifies the league for this one. I know that he has, as I have answered additional questions for them.

Mark I did manage to say "thank you" to both Father and daughter.

Again thanks,

[jeschmit]

Originally Posted by Thumper68

All right first thanks for all of the advice and comments. I am feeling better and this will soon fade away. I am working tonight. I be dammed if I let some ignorant folks get me from enjoying doing this. I have enjoyed it vey much thus far. Even when I feel like I have had a bad game I still feel a sense of satisfaction.

J Rut My assigner is the one who notifies the league for this one. I know that he has, as I have answered additional questions for them.

Mark I did manage to say "thank you" to both Father and daughter.

Again thanks,

In my opinion, this is the best way to get past those type of games. In any game where I had a confrontation (whether it be fans, coaches, partners or my own calls) causing me to have a bad game, I would always dwell on it until I had my next game. Then it was a clean slate... new night, new game. This helped me forget about the bad games... getting back out there and remembering WHY we all do this!

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Thumper68

All right first thanks for all of the advice and comments. I am feeling better and this will soon fade away. I am working tonight. I be dammed if I let some ignorant folks get me from enjoying doing this. I have enjoyed it vey much thus far. Even when I feel like I have had a bad game I still feel a sense of satisfaction.

J Rut My assigner is the one who notifies the league for this one. I know that he has, as I have answered additional questions for them.

My advice was based off of a high school contest, but that is not clear by your responses what level this incident took place. So my opinion stands if this was a high school league which to my understanding most states have a reporting process about incidents that happen with their member schools. If that procedure goes through the assignor that is fine, but if it doesn't apply only to the assignor I would report this to governing body.

Peace

[Thumper68]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

My advice was based off of a high school contest, but that is not clear by your responses what level this incident took place. So my opinion stands if this was a high school league which to my understanding most states have a reporting process about incidents that happen with their member schools. If that procedure goes through the assignor that is fine, but if it doesn't apply only to the assignor I would report this to governing body.

Peace

Rut,
It's a Catholic middle school city league. It is not governed by the state althelic associaition. This is my first year in this league, as I just moved to this area last summer.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

...Sometimes try not to make real eye contact with people while leaving ...

This is me. I also avoid making eye contact when leaving the court to the locker room. And often after fouls calls I will not make eye contact with the coaches so that if they want my attention they will have to make a concerted effort to get it.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Thumper68

Rut,
It's a Catholic middle school city league. It is not governed by the state althelic associaition. This is my first year in this league, as I just moved to this area last summer.

OK. Thanks for the information, but the feeling stands. That is why I was broad about the advice to consider all the avenues of action as a possibility.

Peace