S/Os and the schedule

[jeschmit]

Originally Posted by amusedofficial

Just curious, how far can one push the spouse/SO to accept being a zebra widow without pledging one's entire reffing income to household projects that end up costing four times the fees one receives?

I made the mistake of saying "if I take this schedule, we can re-do the kitchen" only to find that to "re-do" the kitchen involved guys with cement trucks. And guys with cement trucks becoming involved with what you thought was an interior home improvement project is never, ever a good thing.

This is always a tough subject to tackle with officials' significant others during seasons. I'm currently going through this with my wife in regards to my schedule. She wants me to give up football (I just work HS varsity), and cut back on basketball (basically giving up HS basketball and just working college). I have already given up baseball and softball this year in order to be home more. This is hard to do for those of us that love to do it though!

Basically, we have come to the agreement that every third check will go directly to her for whatever she wants to do (shopping/home renovations/etc), and the other two checks go into the bank acct. That works well for the situation that you've provided... I made the same mistake you did a couple of years ago.

As far as balancing a schedule when you are away from home... YMMV. I have told my wife in the past that I am going to take every game that I am able to take, and when I am not working I am home for her needs. I don't do a darts/bowling/poker/etc league with my buddies, and I don't have guys' nights. If we go out, its as a couple... If we stay in, its as a couple. This has worked pretty well in the past, but we are at another crossroads in balancing my schedule with being at home...

Its not easy, for sure!

[JRutledge]

Well I do not think there is an easy answer. It is my experience they (spouse) either get it or they do not get it. I work three sports but lived with someone for years and we hardly ever had issues working games or not being home. I would bring her to just about everything I could and then take her out as a result. So there were no issues about being away or taking a game somewhere. I am also not a big "go to the bar" guy either. I would come home right after games and because my "SO" was working in a management role, she would get home after me many times.

You either convince them this is important to you or you don't. Then work around your passion and do what you need to make this a minor issue. Unfortunately we have "SO" that are selfish on many levels and think you should always be in their presence. And the marriages I see, the wife/husband just gets it and supports and stays out of it for the most part.

Peace