Secrets of working with Howler Monkies

[Back In The Saddle]

Final game of four this night, youth rec league. I had a 9th grade boys, then a third grade girls (about stripped gears making the shift), then a couple of 7th grade boys. Started the final game on my own, because my scheduled partner was finishing his previous game.

I've had this coach a few times, and he's always been something of a PITA. But this night he was just on one! He only had six kids show up, and got beat by 30+ points. But he was surly from the moment his team took the floor to warm up.

I purposely worked the side of the floor away from the benches to keep away from him. That just pissed him off every time he thought I missed something on his side of the floor. At one point, as we're lining up for a free throw, he yells, "Hey, Blue!" I look at him and he doesn't say anything or make any sign. So I go back to work and when he yells, "Hey, Blue" again, I ignore him. Finally he yells, "Time out." I approach him during a later timeout to ask if he wants a full or 30, and he just rolls his eyes and blows me off. Gave him a full. Really was hoping he only wanted a 30

He finally got off my back when I showed him the stop sign (which I probably should have done much earlier), but got T'ed up later by my partner, who finally showed up.

*Sigh* It was the first time I had ever had to work alone, and it wasn't a great performance. The HM didn't help the situation. As I do from all of my hard experiences, I learned a few things.

My question for the panel is this: What advice do you have for working with coaches?

[theshortbaldref]

Just did eleven games at a four-state junior tournament. The worst Howler there was an MOA master who had just finished up with HS boys divisional (where he sucked IMHO)He was coaching his daughter's 12-year old team and son's 14 year-old-team. Had him my first game at 8 a.m. Sunday morning. I was sore, tired and my java tasted like acid rain. I was warned about him, but I didn't believe it cuz he is such a mouse when he's blowing. For 20 minutes the fella made every call plus more at 10 on the volume. Fellow officials were barking at me to tech him, I just shook my head no and pointed at the door. Evidently one of his team-parents conveyed the message, cuz he settled and was almost tolerable the second half. But he made his reputation and was easily acknowledged as the worst coach to have in the tourney. Just goes to show, even established officials can make the all-Howler Monkey team when given the opportunity.

[cmckenna]

Originally posted by Back In The Saddle
he yells, "Hey, Blue!" I look at him and he doesn't say anything or make any sign. So I go back to work and when he yells, "Hey, Blue" again

It sounds like his problem was that he thought he was at a baseball game... Maybe he wanted to argue a low strike call with you.

[Blackhawk357]

SBR,

This isn't the Huntley Official who inforced the 80% rule in the Colstrip v. Miles City game this year is it? Are his initials D.W.? He has a 7th grade boys team that he thinks is better than they really are, too. Derek's team has played them several times, one of the worst coaches to work for I've ever seen (at that level).

[theshortbaldref]

You nailed it, 357.

[chayce]

One of the best suggestions that was given to me early in my officiating career is this:

Talk to coaches only when they ask a question!

When you are running by during play and they make a comment, just keep on running and don't try to argue. Obviously if they keep making comments, your must enforce the appropriate punishment; however, if you don't argue with them, they ususally let it die. For example, you have a no-call on what the coach says is a foul and as you transition to the other end of the court, he yells, "That's a foul!" If you retort, "No it wasn't", you are just inviting trouble. Just let it go. If they continue, issue the T.

If the coach asks a questions, I will respond in a calm, professional manner; otherwise, I refuse to get involved in a debate.

As part of the pregame captains/coaches meeting, I always tell coaches that my partner and I will not tolerate yelling, footstomping, or officiating from the coaches. This serves as their warning and if they do it, we T 'em up and move on. If you begin the game with this expectation, things usually go a lot smoother. I realize that in some rec leagues, no pregames are done and if that is the case, you could suggest that the league implement the practice. You can prevent a lot of problems from the beginning.

I actually worked a HSBV game by myself (Bad weather)this year and in the pregame I told the coaches that I would be working the floor from hashmark to hashmark (an old gym that still had them) and that I would work very hard to get in the best possible position to make every call. I also told the captains that I would need extra help from them in retrieving OOB loose balls, etc. I am sure I missed plenty of calls that night but the coaches knew what to expect and never got out of hand. Tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em, tell 'em, and tell 'em what you told 'em.

[rainmaker]

Dealing with Coaches was one of my personal POE's this year. Here are a few things I have learned:

1. Early on, let them know you hear them. Often this is enough. Last year I was trying to brush them off, and it didn't work; they just got more and more worked up. Just a simple "thank you, coach" can help.

2. Early on, let them know what you won't tolerate. As soon as there is anything questionable, give the stop sign. If you want to precede it with, "No more complaining coach" that helps often, nd you can save the formal stop sign for late in the game when tempers are even thinner.

3. Keep a formal list of "Instant T's" in your head. Mine is (1)profanity loud enough to be heard in the second row back, (2)anything that questions my parentage or the parentage of my children, (3) stepping onto the floor to complain (assuming the floor is big enough for the coach to have a choice), and (4)anything that is roiling up the fans or the players. These aren't the only T's I give, but they are non-judgement calls.

4. Try to keep a friendly attitude yourself. Work hard to be polite and warm even when they are hostile and rude. Think of it as "rising above." Think of the ranting and raving as the 4-year-old temper tantrum that you, the parent, are mature and calm enough to manage.

5. The sassy remarks that are so fun to read on this board, usually don't work in real time. Use them very sparingly. On the other hand, sometimes thinking them can help you keep your perspective.

6. When I start feeling that skin-crawling thing that precedes my own temper tantrum, I think to myself, "how am I going to tell this to so-and-so?" The so-and-so is one or the other of the refs who have helped me deal with this issue.

7. When all else fails, remember this timeless wisdom from our own mick, "Get in, get done, get out."

Others will tell you some of these things aren't the best, but it's a little bit individual. These have worked very well for me.

[Edited by rainmaker on Mar 18th, 2003 at 10:53 AM]

[Dan_ref]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Dealing with Coaches was one of my personal POE's this year. Here are a few things I have learned:

1. Early on, let them know you hear them. Often this is enough. Last year I was trying to brush them off, and it didn't work; they just got more and more worked up. Just a simple "thank you, coach" can help.

2. Early on, let them know what you won't tolerate. As soon as there is anything questionable, give the stop sign. If you want to precede it with, "No more complaining coach" that helps often, nd you can save the formal stop sign for late in the game when tempers are even thinner.

3. Keep a formal list of "Instant T's" in your head. Mine is (1)profanity loud enough to be heard in the second row back, (2)anything that questions my parentage or the parentage of my children, (3) stepping onto the floor to complain (assuming the floor is big enough for the coach to have a choice), and (4)anything that is roiling up the fans or the players. These aren't the only T's I give, but they are non-judgement calls.

4. Try to keep a friendly attitude yourself. Work hard to be polite and warm even when they are hostile and rude. Think of it as "rising above." Think of the ranting and raving as the 4-year-old temper tantrum that you, the parent, are mature and calm enough to manage.

5. The sassy remarks that are so fun to read on this board, usually don't work in real time. Use them very sparingly. On the other hand, sometimes thinking them can help you keep your perspective.

6. When I start feeling that skin-crawling thing that precedes my own temper tantrum, I think to myself, "how am I going to tell this to so-and-so?" The so-and-so is one or the other of the refs who have helped me deal with this issue.

7. When all else fails, remember this timeless wisdom from our own mick, "Get in, get done, get out."

Others will tell you some of these things aren't the best, but it's a little bit individual. These have worked very well for me.

[Edited by rainmaker on Mar 18th, 2003 at 10:53 AM]

I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with any of this.

Excellent post.

[mikesears]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Dealing with Coaches was one of my personal POE's this year. Here are a few things I have learned:

1. Early on, let them know you hear them. Often this is enough. Last year I was trying to brush them off, and it didn't work; they just got more and more worked up. Just a simple "thank you, coach" can help.

2. Early on, let them know what you won't tolerate. As soon as there is anything questionable, give the stop sign. If you want to precede it with, "No more complaining coach" that helps often, nd you can save the formal stop sign for late in the game when tempers are even thinner.

3. Keep a formal list of "Instant T's" in your head. Mine is (1)profanity loud enough to be heard in the second row back, (2)anything that questions my parentage or the parentage of my children, (3) stepping onto the floor to complain (assuming the floor is big enough for the coach to have a choice), and (4)anything that is roiling up the fans or the players. These aren't the only T's I give, but they are non-judgement calls.

4. Try to keep a friendly attitude yourself. Work hard to be polite and warm even when they are hostile and rude. Think of it as "rising above." Think of the ranting and raving as the 4-year-old temper tantrum that you, the parent, are mature and calm enough to manage.

5. The sassy remarks that are so fun to read on this board, usually don't work in real time. Use them very sparingly. On the other hand, sometimes thinking them can help you keep your perspective.

6. When I start feeling that skin-crawling thing that precedes my own temper tantrum, I think to myself, "how am I going to tell this to so-and-so?" The so-and-so is one or the other of the refs who have helped me deal with this issue.

7. When all else fails, remember this timeless wisdom from our own mick, "Get in, get done, get out."

Others will tell you some of these things aren't the best, but it's a little bit individual. These have worked very well for me.

[Edited by rainmaker on Mar 18th, 2003 at 10:53 AM]

Excellent post for any sport we work! I'm going to print this and use this when I officiate football. Thanks!

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by rainmaker
6. When I start feeling that skin-crawling thing that precedes my own temper tantrum. . .

I'm glad I'm not the only one this happens to!

Chuck

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

I'm glad I'm not the only one this happens to!

Chuck

As you and a few others (as few as possible!!) this has been the most important part of my training -- learning to recognize my own emotions and deal with them while they are still manage-able. I did have a couple of "temper tantrums" in the early going, and learning SELF-control had to precede Coach-control. Just another reason why my family is glad I'm reffing!!

[Back In The Saddle]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Dealing with Coaches was one of my personal POE's this year. Here are a few things I have learned:

1. Early on, let them know you hear them. Often this is enough. Last year I was trying to brush them off, and it didn't work; they just got more and more worked up. Just a simple "thank you, coach" can help.

2. Early on, let them know what you won't tolerate. As soon as there is anything questionable, give the stop sign. If you want to precede it with, "No more complaining coach" that helps often, nd you can save the formal stop sign for late in the game when tempers are even thinner.

3. Keep a formal list of "Instant T's" in your head. Mine is (1)profanity loud enough to be heard in the second row back, (2)anything that questions my parentage or the parentage of my children, (3) stepping onto the floor to complain (assuming the floor is big enough for the coach to have a choice), and (4)anything that is roiling up the fans or the players. These aren't the only T's I give, but they are non-judgement calls.

4. Try to keep a friendly attitude yourself. Work hard to be polite and warm even when they are hostile and rude. Think of it as "rising above." Think of the ranting and raving as the 4-year-old temper tantrum that you, the parent, are mature and calm enough to manage.

5. The sassy remarks that are so fun to read on this board, usually don't work in real time. Use them very sparingly. On the other hand, sometimes thinking them can help you keep your perspective.

6. When I start feeling that skin-crawling thing that precedes my own temper tantrum, I think to myself, "how am I going to tell this to so-and-so?" The so-and-so is one or the other of the refs who have helped me deal with this issue.

7. When all else fails, remember this timeless wisdom from our own mick, "Get in, get done, get out."

Others will tell you some of these things aren't the best, but it's a little bit individual. These have worked very well for me.

[Edited by rainmaker on Mar 18th, 2003 at 10:53 AM]

Thank you for sharing this list, Juulie. I think I will print it, laminate it, and make it part of my personal pre-game prep for every game.

I had thought, before the game, about talking with the teams about me working alone. I figured it would help them understand about what I was doing and about why they wouldn't be getting some of the calls they'd expect. But it was only supposed to be for a minute or two until my partner arrived. Then I saw my scheduled partner walk onto another court and begin working a different game. Felt like it was too late then. Fortunately one of the staff guys came and helped out. (I guess I'm not Superman after all ) Perhaps a really good discussion on working single man would be helpful.

Looking back, I let the coach get under my skin and fester. And I let more of my own temper tantrum show than I should have. I regret that part. Oh well, today is a new day, and now I have new tools to help me succeed.


PS. This is officially my 100th post, and I believe that makes me a Senior Member of the group. Funny, I thought I'd feel cooler and more knowledgable once that happened

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by Back In The Saddle
Looking back, I let the coach get under my skin and fester. And I let more of my own temper tantrum show than I should have. I regret that part. Oh well, today is a new day, and now I have new tools to help me succeed.


PS. This is officially my 100th post, and I believe that makes me a Senior Member of the group. Funny, I thought I'd feel cooler and more knowledgable once that happened

Relax -- you're doing great and you're in very capable hands -- the people on this board. You can't possibly have as much to work on as I did at "100th post". And I'm actually starting (at 1000th post) to feel like I'm getting the hang of it. If I can make it, so can you!!

[Blackhawk357]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Dealing with Coaches was one of my personal POE's this year. Here are a few things I have learned:

1. Early on, let them know you hear them. Often this is enough. Last year I was trying to brush them off, and it didn't work; they just got more and more worked up. Just a simple "thank you, coach" can help.

2. Early on, let them know what you won't tolerate. As soon as there is anything questionable, give the stop sign. If you want to precede it with, "No more complaining coach" that helps often, nd you can save the formal stop sign for late in the game when tempers are even thinner.

3. Keep a formal list of "Instant T's" in your head. Mine is (1)profanity loud enough to be heard in the second row back, (2)anything that questions my parentage or the parentage of my children, (3) stepping onto the floor to complain (assuming the floor is big enough for the coach to have a choice), and (4)anything that is roiling up the fans or the players. These aren't the only T's I give, but they are non-judgement calls.

4. Try to keep a friendly attitude yourself. Work hard to be polite and warm even when they are hostile and rude. Think of it as "rising above." Think of the ranting and raving as the 4-year-old temper tantrum that you, the parent, are mature and calm enough to manage.

5. The sassy remarks that are so fun to read on this board, usually don't work in real time. Use them very sparingly. On the other hand, sometimes thinking them can help you keep your perspective.

6. When I start feeling that skin-crawling thing that precedes my own temper tantrum, I think to myself, "how am I going to tell this to so-and-so?" The so-and-so is one or the other of the refs who have helped me deal with this issue.

7. When all else fails, remember this timeless wisdom from our own mick, "Get in, get done, get out."

Others will tell you some of these things aren't the best, but it's a little bit individual. These have worked very well for me.

[Edited by rainmaker on Mar 18th, 2003 at 10:53 AM]

Although I don't know you, Juulie, I must say that this is one of the most insightful posts I've read on this board. You had better get to the copywright office soon, I believe that it will be in more than one pregame in the future, including mine.

We need to understand that handling the coaches is somewhat of a personal thing. Each of us will need to add or subtract a few things to make it fit our own personalities but what a great place to start. Thanks

Blackhawk

[JRutledge]

I attended this weekend for about the 4th year in a row the Big Ten Men's Tournament held at the United Center in Chicago. The main thing I learned from the officials was, you have to take your own personality on that court.

Ed Hightower--Elder Statesman of all the officials there. Can get away with talking to coaches and listening to them when they are very upset and aggitated. But when he talks to a coach or player directly, they do not show him up or only go so far. But he has been around the block and can do that unlike most officials. A take charge personality that will and can take chare of almost any sitaution.

Ted Hiliary--Very reserved emotionally. Does not say a whole lot to coaches. But when he does it is taken as said (at least it appears that way from a far). Respected highly by coaches and they do not try to ever show him up or act out of line. Seems to listen often.

Teddy Valentine--Seems to be one of the most flamboyant officials around. His mechanics are admit most of the time. Has no problem confronting coaches or players on situations to get a point across. His style would not work for most officials, but works completely for him. His personality comes out on the court. He is physically bigger than most officials and seems to work in maintaining control. Great official.

(Big Ten Champ. Game Official)--I do not know this last person's name, but he worked the Championship game with Hightower and Hiliary on Suday. He is a shorter guy and all his mechanics are kind of a "matter of fact." He does not seem to get too flashy or too reserved. He just seems to do his job and go home. You hardly know he is out there on the court, but does a great job in making his calls. Half the time I just forgot he was even out there when I watched all his games this weekend.

The point that I am making is that you have to officiate with your personality and your personality only. Because when I officiate I seem to bounce back between some traits of Hightower and others of Hilary. If I am know by the conference, I tend to be more like Hightower. When I am in environments that I am unfamiliar, I am much more like Hilary. I love Juulie's list, I truely do, but you have to bring your own things to the table. Because I know many officials that do not subscribe to things she does on her list and it works out perfectly. That is why dealing with coaches and confrontation is an art, not a science. There is a good article in the April's Referee Magazine that addresses the very topic.

Peace