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One of the best suggestions that was given to me early in my officiating career is this:
Talk to coaches only when they ask a question!
When you are running by during play and they make a comment, just keep on running and don't try to argue. Obviously if they keep making comments, your must enforce the appropriate punishment; however, if you don't argue with them, they ususally let it die. For example, you have a no-call on what the coach says is a foul and as you transition to the other end of the court, he yells, "That's a foul!" If you retort, "No it wasn't", you are just inviting trouble. Just let it go. If they continue, issue the T.
If the coach asks a questions, I will respond in a calm, professional manner; otherwise, I refuse to get involved in a debate.
As part of the pregame captains/coaches meeting, I always tell coaches that my partner and I will not tolerate yelling, footstomping, or officiating from the coaches. This serves as their warning and if they do it, we T 'em up and move on. If you begin the game with this expectation, things usually go a lot smoother. I realize that in some rec leagues, no pregames are done and if that is the case, you could suggest that the league implement the practice. You can prevent a lot of problems from the beginning.
I actually worked a HSBV game by myself (Bad weather)this year and in the pregame I told the coaches that I would be working the floor from hashmark to hashmark (an old gym that still had them) and that I would work very hard to get in the best possible position to make every call. I also told the captains that I would need extra help from them in retrieving OOB loose balls, etc. I am sure I missed plenty of calls that night but the coaches knew what to expect and never got out of hand. Tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em, tell 'em, and tell 'em what you told 'em.
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