7 year of commitment and now I'm a cheater?

[williebfree]

CMar:


Welcome to the forum and best wishes on your new addiction... uh, er... I mean avocation.


This forum will help expedite your learning curve. In my view, dealing with difficult coaches is one of the more challenging aspects of game management/officiating. I believe it is something that evolves (and hopefully improves) as you gain experience. Participating in this forum and serious rules study are significant means to build your confidence and court presence. Additionally, finding a few local mentors who are willing to work with you is another helpful approach.


Moving on to your questions based on the OP.


If possible, I avoid creating an "artificial interruption" (calling a dead ball after the hoop) specifically to call out a coach. However, sometimes the need to address/redirect a coach requires it to be dealt with in immediate fashion. Like you mentioned, I would not challenge the irate coach with a statement, such as "could you repeat that" because I too view it as baiting.


Do the other refs agree with the course of actions taken? (not the T-ing and tossing but the events leading up to it)


In the early part of my officiating career, I tended to allow coaches "the benefit of the doubt" when I felt they were frustrated. However, my experience has taught me that coaches need to be redirected early if they are repeatedly challenging calls/no-calls. There are many factors that influence how sternly I respond to a coach's remarks. The more blatant or boisterous the more severe my response. It can range from "I heard you coach" to a more stern "I have heard enough." If these interventions fail then I will assess a "T." I also admit that I have less tolerance at lower levels. A while back, a sage AD once prudently advised me that I should view the court as a classroom and coaches as teachers. He added that I should place a high premium on respectful conduct from all --- coaches, players, fans, and officials.


Ultimately, you will individually define what your thresholds for coach conduct will be and learn efficient methods/strategies to manage them.

[Brad]

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

Coach already had one T from me for arguing a push on rebounding action in the 2nd Q.

Good.

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

I hear "Don't cheat my kids!"

Insert technical foul here.

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

...I was met with him standing up face to face with me saying "I know you are mad at me but don't cheat my kids..."

Or here.

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

He responded with some more talk about me cheating the kids and I asked him one more time was he accusing me of cheating to which he uttered the phrase cheating my kids again. So I tossed him in mid sentence...

Glad to see that you finally tossed him. In my opinion, you never needed to ask him to repeat what he said -- you were sure of it the first time that you heard it. Just use the Whack! Get Out!!!® method ... works every time!

[Coltdoggs]

Thanks for the feedback gang...

Just to clarify...Yes, I was pretty sure of what I heard him say the first time and yes, I stopped play to be 100% sure. My mind was already made up he was done for the day after that comment....I wasn't trying to bait him or give him an opportunity to retract the statement....I just wanted to be certain of what he said so that I could give my "report" back to the league.

This particular guy does have a history of getting loud about calls and his focus has become the officials rather than the kids from time to time...those times have been dealt with accordingly (see T#1)

What I have learned from the reading of responses is that I could have chosen a better question or simply T'd/Tossed him without any conversation.

I know the league policy and code of conduct forward and backward and how they handle things...I've been with the league 7 years and assisted the Board for my the first 4 years in an unofficial capacity as a rules interpreter and advisor...spent the past two on their Board as an official voting member. I've since moved on from Board status because I don't live in that school township any longer.

I didn't want there to be a case of he said, I said and there was at least 3 others who were present at the table and acknowledged his "cheat my kids" comment.

This guy will sit out their first game Saturday and has to petition the Board for reinstatement. I told them I'd allow him to coach again with the understanding that any further incidents regarding officials will result in his removal from the league. 12 Teams in this 5th/6th grade league and 11 of the coaches never say a word to the officials.

[kwv001]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I would have gone straight to him and said, "Coach, I don't expect you to agree with every call I make;

I like this approach, and in fact use it quite often. I will typically tell the coach I don't expect him to agree with every decision we make, then go on to tell him what I do expect - an end to the running commentary, the constant "request" for a walk to stop, or whatever the case may be. This tact has been succesful for me more than it hasn't.

In this case however, I think it was too late for that. If I was 99.9% sure the comment came from the coach, at the first opportunity that didn't disadvantage the opponent, I would have stopped play and shown him the door.

[doubleringer]

I agree with some that you escalated the situation by confronting the coach. I'd say either assess the T and move on, or ignore the comment and move on. Personally, as soon as he says, "don't cheat my kids." he gets a T.

[Texas Aggie]

I'm most pissed off

Don't be. You should never, ever give anyone enough power over you to control your emotions based on their actions.

[Coltdoggs]

Originally Posted by Texas Aggie

Don't be. You should never, ever give anyone enough power over you to control your emotions based on their actions.

Sound advice for all walks of life TA....thank you.

[OHBBREF]

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

Coach already had one T from me for arguing a push on rebounding action in the 2nd Q.

Strike one

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

In 4th Q, after a held ball was given to the other team...I'm headed back down court in and as I pass him at the end of his bench closest to the table I hear "Don't cheat my kids!"

Strike Two

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

To this I was met with him standing up face to face

Strike Three

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

with me saying "I know you are mad at me but don't cheat my kids...you gave them the ball twice in a row!"

Strike Four

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

He responded with some more talk about me cheating the kids and I asked him one more time was he accusing me of cheating to which he uttered the phrase cheating my kids again.

Strike Five

Way to much rope!
should have been done at two three at the most.