Former ref now an obnoxious fan

[truerookie]

Originally Posted by zebraman

When I started officiating about 12 years ago, I was fortunate enough to be mentored by an excellent official in our group. (Let's call him "Maury" for now). He had been to a few state tournaments and I really admired all aspects of his officiating abilities. He took a special interest in me and played a big part in my quick progression. We became fairly close friends as well.

Maury stopped officiating about 7 or 8 years ago to coach his kid's teams and attend all their games. I admired that about him too. Now his oldest kid is a sophomore and plays on the varsity of one of the schools that our HS association servers. I had been hearing from other officials in our association that he was yelling at officials from the bleachers during his kid's game. I found it hard to believe......

Last night, I officiated the varsity game at the school where his kid plays. I saw Maury in the stands before the game and gave him a quick acknowledgment smile during warm-ups. The game was easy.... not really any tough calls all night and we had decent flow. Both of my partners are good officials. Both coaches were great all night. ... and not a peep from the fans..... UNTIL ------ As Maury's team started to slip behind in the middle of the second quarter, he started to ride my partners. Loud and obnoxious. I was embarrassed for him. Then in the middle of the third quarter, his kid got a shot blocked cleanly and Maury started in on me, calling me by my name at the top of his lungs. I couldn't believe it. After that, he left me alone and continued to ride my partners on calls that were not even close to being controversial. It was completely classless.

With about 4 minutes left in the game, team A calls a time-out so I am holding the ball on the baseline waiting for the teams to return. One of my partners is on the low block about 5 feet away from me. Maury leaves the bleachers and walks behind me along the baseline towards the restrooms. As he walks by, he screams at my partner and says, "a referee should never chew gum, ever!!!" I turn to look at him and his face is beet red, almost purple. I turn to look at the game administrator who follows him out. Never saw him after that. (By the way, my partner always chews gum because he has a medical condition that gives him a really dry mouth and it's the only way he can keep saliva flowing - not that it really matters in this case because it's a ridiculous thing to criticize anyway).

I am so disappointed in my former mentor and what a horse's butt he made out of himself. So incredibly disappointed.

As with all mentors take what you can benefit from and toss the rest. In this situation, take a step back and remember this situation when you get on the backside of your officiating career and remember how Maury acted once he retired and make a mental note not to act in the manner. Other than that, it is what it is.

[Adam]

I would have no problem having game management escort this guy out. If he's a distraction, and it seems from the OP that he was, he's got to go. The fact that he used to be an official makes it easier to do, IMO, as he should know better.

[refnrev]

Actually the man has taught you very well... both how you do and do not want to behave as an official and as a human being. Learn well... sadly, you've been taught well.

[tjones1]

Originally Posted by truerookie

As with all mentors take what you can benefit from and toss the rest. In this situation, take a step back and remember this situation when you get on the backside of your officiating career and remember how Maury acted once he retired and make a mental note not to act in the manner. Other than that, it is what it is.

Sad, very sad.

[Ignats75]

I am the exact opposite...Formerly obnoxious fan, now a referee.

If he was in my gym, he would've been toast early on.

I had a coach make a point in the pregame once (He's actually from DeNucci's area) to tell us that he is a former referee. Somehow, he thought it would either make us favor him or respect his judgement when he asked for a call. After one of my partners whacked him, I told him, "Coach, since you are a former referee, you understand the concept of no longer coaching with the box, right?"

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Ignats75

I am the exact opposite...Formerly obnoxious fan, now a referee.

If he was in my gym, he would've been toast early on.

I had a coach make a point in the pregame once (He's actually from DeNucci's area) to tell us that he is a former referee. Somehow, he thought it would either make us favor him or respect his judgement when he asked for a call. After one of my partners whacked him, I told him, "Coach, since you are a former referee, you understand the concept of no longer coaching with the box, right?"

Having a guy say "I am (was) and official" knows it's going to be a long night and (usually) means the guy is going to be an idiot.

[BktBallRef]

zebraman, I hope you get an opportunity to tell him what an @$$ he has become.

[26 Year Gap]

A retired guy in our association did him one better...he berated officials on radio broadcasts. He no longer helps teach the new officials' class.

[Nevadaref]

Z,
I can understand the difficulty of the situation in which you found yourself.

It cannot be pleasant to have someone that you knew personally, and viewed with respect, act in a manner that makes you have to change your opinion.

However, I must say that since you had heard of the problem from others before taking the court for this game that you probably should have taken a stronger stance and dealt with this individual when he hollered directly at you. Had you had him removed then, you would have done a great service to your fellow officials both on that game and to those who will work that team's games in the future.

Due to the fact that you had a past relationship with this person, the message delivered would have been very strong.

It most definitely would likely be the end of your personal bond with this guy, but given his current conduct, is he really someone that you wish to continue to be associated with? I doubt it as you wouldn't have posted this if that were the case.

As I wrote above I can appreciate that this was an awkward situation for you and undertstand that you may have been reluctant to be more proactive, I'm also guessing by your posting this that you probably feel a bit bad inside about not having taken more decisive action and know what the right thing to do was.

A sad situation overall, and one that your local group is going to have to confront. Perhaps you can be a leader in doing so.

Best wishes.

[truerookie]

Originally Posted by tjones1

Sad, very sad.

The main fact that zebraman thought highly of this individual and would not have EVER! thought the person in question would act in this capacity truly displays how an individual can really throw you for a loop. So can zebraman do anything about it? IMO, I really don't think so. So the behavior of this individual IS WHAT IT IS! That is not sad it as you pointed out diligently.